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You are here : home > Manners and Discipline > Disciplining Children > How not to spoil your child

How not to spoil your child

Parents should know parenting dos and don'ts while disciplining their child. Here are few parenting rules that can make your child a responsible being.


Shikha went for the shopping with her little one for his birthday. Her son saw a nice pair of shoes in the shop and he threw tantrum on the road as he wanted those shoes and his mom refused to buy them. She had bought shoes for him a week ago. She firmly said that he would not get them at all. Shikha kept her head while her son went furious. In very low voice she calmed him down.

Do you indulge in fights with your spouse in front of your child? Do you spank you child each time he makes a mistake? Do you buy everything he points his finger at? Examine the discipline pattern you are introducing to your child. Are you spoiling your child? Do you often question yourself, 'am I spoiling my child?' You need to know the parenting rules to avoid your child getting spoilt.


Learn to say NO

You need to learn to say NO to your child if you do not want him to be a spoilt brat. You would not turn into an authoritarian parent if you will say no to your child, neither you will be bossy by doing so. You do not have to say yes to all demands of your little one. Discipline has nothing to do with beating your child for his mistakes or displaying anger. Discipline is teaching your child to be responsible for his actions. Of course you can fulfill reasonable demands of your child but not the unreasonable ones.

Saying yes or succumbing to all his demands will do no good for his personal development. Your child may think that you are mean or overreacting. You need not buy that new video game he demanded just because his friend bought one. Be firm and do not give in. Start your sentence by saying 'NO'. You may explain your child the reason behind your denial. Let him throw tantrums but remember it is important to teach them to hear a no.


Be a role model for your child

You advice your child on what is wrong and what is not. You tell him to speak truth. You tell him not to get into fights with friends. You tell him to hit the sack early and to be an early riser. Are you doing all these things by yourself? Are you a role model for your child? Children often imitate their parents. We laugh it off when a kid lathers his face with a shaving cream and pretend to be a big man like his dad. Children follow footsteps of their parents. As a parent you should first follow the rules set by you and children will automatically follow them.


Teach your child to be polite

Teach your child basic manners. Teach him to say 'please', 'sorry', 'thank you' and 'excuse me' when it is appropriate. Tell your child that he cannot be rude or throw tantrums without any reason. You can imbibe politeness in your child's behavior by setting an example by yourself. Children do learn by examples. Instead of saying, 'low down the volume of the TV now' you can say, 'please, reduce the volume of the TV a little.' To make your child display good mannerism, make it a point to omit the usage of abusive words and foul language from your day to day life.


Adopt punishment and reward approach

Punishment is not spanking or hitting your child if he does something wrong. Get away with the notion 'spare the rod and spoil the child.' you can make your child to clean his room if he did not complete his homework on time. You can make him clean the bookshelf if he did not finish his food.

On the other hand, you may treat an apple of your eye with an ice cream if he helped you prepare the breakfast. You may take him for the children's movie if he passed with good grades. Punishment and reward scheme really works. Punishments need not to be harsh but they should make children realise their mistakes and rewards should encourage them to do good things.


Dos of disciplining your child

Many parents are unaware that they are trying to discipline their children in a wrong way. The way in which you discipline you child should vary according to his age. You have to be subtle while disciplining your child. Punishment and reward approach works best for children between 8 to12 age group. You can be a little harsh while dealing with a teenager. Consider the following dos of parenting while disciplining your child.

  • Exhibit values and habits that you want your child to display

  • Set some boundaries to your child's behavior

  • Communicate with your child if there is some problem and find the solution together

  • Keep your head while imbibing discipline in your child

  • Teach your child to be responsible for his actions

Don'ts of disciplining your child

When your child demands a toy you need not get it for him at the drop of the hat. Think if his demand is genuine. If not, then refuse him. He may go mad after hearing the rejection. What you should do in such situation? Should you give in and fulfill his demand? Should you scold him? Here are some don'ts of parenting you should follow at such times.
  • Do not spank, slap or verbally abuse your child

  • Do not give in to your child's unreasonable demands

  • Do not enforce many rules at a time

  • Do not compare your child with his sibling or friend in any way

  • Do not ever say to your child that you do not like him or do not love him
You child will not stop loving you if you be harsh at a time. Even children know that you are setting some disciplinary boundaries as you want them to be responsible human beings. Let your tots explore their tiny world but of course with some regulations. Wouldn't you like being an ideal parent?

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Recent comments (3 comments)
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Comment: 
Name: Chanchal Sen
Country: India

Spoiling is quite different from loving. Many parents think that spoiling or pampering a kid is actually showering him with love and affection but this is wrong. your article helps to clear such misconceptions.
 
Name: Tigmanshu
Country: India

Many times parents do not know how to react to a situation. your article is really very helpful and is the best parenting guide.
 
Name: Rajesh shirodkar
Country: India

Very good article. i got to know many great parenting tips and these will help me to be a better parent.


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