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Manners and Discipline Topics..

You are here : home > Manners and Discipline > Disciplining Children > Temper Control

Temper Control

Temper Control

Does your child have a bad temper? Teaching your child to control his temper is one of the most valuable lessons he can learn.

A person with a bad temper is not in control of his emotions. Instead of ruling his emotions, he is ruled by them. Bad temper affects not just the nature of a person, but also the health. A person with a bad temper is more prone to high levels of stress, and is at a greater risk for developing cardiovascular diseases. Also, he will get easily frustrated, and during times of frustration productivity may go down too. In addition, an angry person has more enemies than friends, and when the chips are down not many people will be there to help him, or be by him side. And, finally, an angry person is not a happy person, and needless to say, what every parent wants for his child is happiness.
Here are some tips on how you can teach your child to exercise some self-control, so he is more in control of the decisions he makes, the action he takes, and the direction his life goes in.

Dealing with young children

The first and most important rule is to never give in to your child when he displays a bad temper. For example, if your child Rohit wants a soft drink, and you want to give it to him only with his dinner, don't give in just because he starts shouting and screaming. If you give in, you only reinforce such behavior. Instead, every time Rohit loses his temper, punish him by sending him in his room, or making him stand in a corner for around 5 to 10 minutes. This is possibly more effective than taking away some future privilege, and it will also give your child time to reflect on his behavior. On the other hand, if you keep arguing with him, tempers are likely to rise even further, and you may be tempted to either give in, or to deny him the soft drink at all.

Handling older kids

Stop the discussion when your child loses his temper. It is better if you let your child know that you will be willing to discuss the issue after he cools down, and only if he plans to have a civilized discussion with you. This may be more effective with older children and with teens. So if your teenage daughter wants to go for a party over the weekend and you don't think she should go, if your discussion turns into a fight, don't close the topic. Instead, tell him firmly that there is no point discussing the issue now, and that you will discuss it with her later that night, or the next day, if she can talk about it without losing her temper.

Finding a balance

Also, realize that your children are completely dependent on you, and when you deny them something you may not think it should matter much, but to your child, it may mean the world. Thus, your child will get frustrated and irritable. And, in an attempt to over-discipline your child, you may lose his trust. Be a balanced parent if you want a balanced child.

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Vishesh.7 years ago
Balancing between our expectation and our child’s expectation is very much important. When we simply deny our kid’s request or do not lend our ears to them they really become frustrated and start showing tantrums. So, try to hear your kid’s request first and then try to make them understand the right things.
Prachi.8 years ago
I read an article somewhere that small kids do not have logical thinking. The part of mind that helps in logical thinking fully develops by the age of 30. So for small kids if you try to convince them while they crying or angry, like, do not do this, we will do this or this is not correct. It will not help them. Instead try to calm them by diverting their mind. For example, say things like "Are you really angry" , "you really want to cry" or "this thing made you angry" and once they have their ear, say something else to divert. I tried this with my 4 years daughter and it really worked. I am sure it will work for your kids as well. The part of mind that have Logical thinking(or we say mature mind) develops only by 25-30 of age. Thats the reason teens are always against parents. Happy Parenting!
.11 years ago
my 3 years son is very adamant and stubborn.he wont listen what we tell him,tried punishing him.he looks in to our eyes when he is shouted. he got no fear. he even gets angry when we laugh at him. at some time i loose my temper n hit him,which i should not do.but at that moment it just happen.its getting tough with him day by day.........really worried that ill loose his love. plz help me.
help me control my temper.
Satish Nair
Satish Nair.13 years ago
my three year old son have a very bad temper. whenever some relative come with their children to my place, my son first he will play with them for a while. then after some time he start fighting and hitting them, he don't like sharing his things with other. i don't know i don't know how to tell him. please give me some more tips..... thanks
Medha Hegde
Medha Hegde.13 years ago
my daughter is 4 years old and she has very bad temper, so no one plays with her properly. so she becomes more anger and hit them. i tried to convince her so many times but she doesn't understand instead she gets angry with me and aterts hitting me. please give me some more suggestions
sapna.13 years ago
dont get angry with her when she's already angry. instead, let her calm down first. ask her what is making her angry. have a peaceful discussion, and dont interrupt at the moment when she has lost her temper. dont shout at her for hitting other children. ask her gently why she felt she needed to hit them. ask her why they didnt play with her. let her come up with the answers instead of u telling her.
Big Mama
Big Mama.13 years ago
my 8 year old have a bad temper one mintue he is fine the next he is like a wild beast. his father is not in his life i really don't know if that have something to do with it. i don't know what else to do. i even thought about giving him up but i don't know what i would do if i loose him. he dosen't know his father's family he is taking care of kids that are not his. maybe that's my son's problem. i need help i don't know how much i can take
fairies.13 years ago
my four year old daughter has a bad temper, i try to be strict with her i punish her. she kicks and hits things, she doesnt hit people but she will hit the couch, the bed anything. i dont no what to do for her anymore. if anyone has any tips on what i should do please let me no.
Honey.13 years ago
my son - 8 years has an awful temper; while i have been extremely patient thru his outbursts - it doesn't seem to work ; i'd definetely like to stay away any physical punishment; but can somebody tell me how do u handle temper tantrum??
Aparna N
Aparna N.13 years ago
good tips! i would also like to add that when toddlers display temper, it is sometimes because they do not know how to verbally express themselves in the situation they are in.
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