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Manners and Discipline Topics..

You are here : home > Manners and Discipline > Disciplining Children > Five Reasons Not to Hit Your Kids

Five Reasons Not to Hit Your Kids

Five Reasons Not to Hit Your Kids

Do you hit your children? Priyanka offers 5 reasons you should refrain from corporal punishment.

Children Become Hitters Themselves

Hitting children teaches them to become hitters themselves. Virtually all of the most dangerous criminals were regularly threatened and punished in childhood. It is nature's plan that children learn attitudes and behaviours through observation and imitation of their parents' actions, for good or ill. Thus it is the responsibility of parents to set an example of empathy and wisdom.

Important Needs Are Neglected

In many cases of so-called "bad behaviour", the child is simply responding in the only way he can, given his age and experience, to neglect of basic needs. Among these needs are: proper sleep and nutrition, treatment of hidden allergy, fresh air, exercise, and sufficient freedom to explore the world around him. But his greatest need is for his parents' undivided attention. In these busy times, few children receive sufficient time and attention from their parents, who are often too distracted by their own problems and worries to treat their children with patience and empathy. It is surely wrong and unfair to punish a child for responding in a natural way to having important needs neglected. For this reason, punishment is not only ineffective in the long run, it is also clearly unjust.

Children Get Distracted from Learning

Punishment distracts the child from learning how to resolve conflict in an effective and humane way. "When we make a child afraid, we stop learning dead in its tracks." A punished child becomes preoccupied with feelings of anger and fantasies of revenge, and is thus deprived of the opportunity to learn more effective methods of solving the problem at hand. Thus, a punished child learns little about how to handle or prevent similar situations in the future.

Children Deserve Love

"Spare the rod and spoil the child". While the "rod" is mentioned many times in the Bible, it is only in the Book of Proverbs that this word is used in connection with parenting. The book of Proverbs is attributed to Solomon, an extremely cruel man whose harsh methods of discipline led his own son, Rehoboam, to become a tyrannical and oppressive dictator who only narrowly escaped being stoned to death for his cruelty. In the Bible there is no support for harsh discipline outside of Solomon's Proverbs. By contrast, the writings in the Gospels, the most important books in the Bible for Christians, contain the teachings of Jesus Christ, who urged mercy, forgiveness, humility, and non-violence. Jesus saw children as being close to God, and urged love, never punishment.

Parent-Child Bond Gets Affected

Punishment interferes with the bond between parent and child, as it is not human nature to feel loving toward someone who hurts us. The true spirit of cooperation which every parent desires can arise only through a strong bond based on mutual feelings of love and respect. Punishment, even when it appears to work, can produce only superficially good behaviour based on fear, which can only take place until the child is old enough to resist. In contrast, cooperation based on respect will last permanently, bringing many years of mutual happiness as the child and parent grow older.
Apart from all the above mentions reason for not hitting a child, it is also very important to keep in mind that when you hit your child you can unintentionally impair him or her physically. A child is like a flower, so think twice before hitting him or her.

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Swiddle.3 years ago
I totally agree.Discipline is often confused with punishment. Punishment makes children suffer, not learn. It does not teach children self-control.
Rishabh R
Rishabh R.8 years ago
A much needed article for the hour. Hitting children will not make them behave in a good or a disciplined manner. Instead it makes them defiant and turn arrogant . So it is wise to treat them gently and make them understand the good and the bad Spending enough time with them is enough to understand a kid.
Isha.9 years ago
Very nice and useful article.i always end up hitting my 4 year old son whenever he does something wrong or doesn't listen to me and then afterwards feel guilty for hitting can I make him learn how to write actual numbers and letters instead of just scribbling.i try and teach him but he doesn't listen and does whatever he wants to write.please help!!!
.9 years ago
hi My son is 4 years old he started his Jr KG School everyday I hve to be after him for writing practice in book he is lefty secondly every day while in school he is puking we checked up but didnt find out why please help
.9 years ago
hi My son is 4 years old he started his Jr KG School everyday I hve to be after him for writing practice in book he is lefty secondly every day while in school he is puking we checked up but didnt find out why please help
abhijit.11 years ago
she wants she doesnt get it she throws a temper. She also has a habit of biting. Maybe because she is teething but how do we explain it to her that such behaviour is not acceptable wihtout resorting to hitting. pls help
.12 years ago
very good son is 2 yrs old. in those days he become very angry and make a thing opposite exatly what we teach. now i go through ur advice. thanks
Dr.Piaa Raj
Dr.Piaa Raj.12 years ago
Corporal punishment Abanishments, Thorasic actions these are few common practises parents indulge in ,
A child does a few actions( mistakes acording to us) before he exp its responses he is corrected between 5-13 a child is in a stage of evolution wherein he/she wants to beleive their actions are best
Phisycaly reprimanding a child is the last way to prove your point.a good alternative can be building his EQ.find out his/her stimulus and stoke it gently Eg: Tara is a 8 yr old kid who despite being told several times not to write on the wall repets this action.. mother gets annoyed but instead of punishment she gets a black scratch unit and a chalk n duster , thereafter lil tara is still scribling but on the boards now!
Anupama Anand
Anupama Anand.13 years ago
When u hit ur child for his unacceptable beh, he feels that your action has absolved him of his beh and as a result does not improve his beh
Sunidhi.13 years ago
i always tell my son politely but he never listen to me then only one way is left is punishment. he is very naughty. when i am strict, then he always obey me. your information will be helpful in the future. if any one have any experince. please with me....
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