Punishments can create ill effects on kids. Therefore, when kids do any mistake or misbehave, parents should try to guide them without punishing them. Have a quick look at the 10 steps for guiding kids without punishing them.Disciplining kids is one of the defining acts of parenting. Many parents think that disciplining cannot be done without punishments. Well, this is where the concept goes wrong.
Disciplining means to guide your children and help them make good choices in life.
One of the most important things that one should keep in mind is that children always have innocent and clear intention behind acting unkindly or causing damage to anyone else. Sometimes they are just playful and when they are aggressive they are angry or probably confused. In other words experts believe that there is no such thing called
bad behaviour in kids.
Steps to Guide Children without Punishing Them
Here are 10 steps to guide children without
punishing them.
1. Control Your Own Emotions
There are times when you might feel getting out of control. This is where you need to have control on your feelings because children would learn how to do this by observing you. Remember, children are watching you and learning from everything they see. So, it is advisable not to act when you are upset.
2. Honour Your Child’s Feelings
Children act in an unaccepted behaviour when they are captured by their mood or feeling. You should not lecture your child or make her learn anything at that time. Stay with her and let her calm down so that you can talk and let her speak as well. When your child will see how you regulate your feelings and find a supporting adult when she is upset, she will learn how to self-regulated her feelings eventually.
3. Children Learn From Observation
You must have seen that parents do not need to teach everything to their kids. There are many things that children learn from observation. Give your child more responsibility and you will find that she will be doing fine eventually.
4. Stay Connected With your Child
Connect to your child before you correct her and make sure you continue doing so. You must be sure that she is listening to you so that you awaken her desire to be her best self. One of the biggest reasons
why children misbehave is because they feel disconnected with their loved ones and feel bad about themselves as well.
5. Establish limits with Empathy
Rules and limits are very important in life and you will have to establish them for your child also. Make it certain that you understand her perspective also because kids accept limits when they feel understood. So, next time you set limits, mind your words and make it firm while understanding your child’s perspective.
6. Find out the Reason Behind Misbehaviour
No matter whether the reason is good or not so good in your opinion, your child will have one behind her misbehaviour. Meet the need of your child and she will understand what you expect from her.
7. Stay Positive When Addressing
Children do not always like the word ‘no’. When you set limits, take caution that you make use of the word ‘yes’ instead of ‘no’. Your child will definitely respond with the generosity of spirit like yours.
8. Spend Quality Time With Your Child
Try to spend some time with your child, listening and talking to her every day. Play with her and giggle and also be silly. Make sure you stay 100% present there because if you fake, your child will understand.
9. Forgive Yourself
Everyone does mistakes and should be forgiven. You too deserve the same. So, if you are feeling bad about yourself, do not blame yourself. You can always repair your relationship. Start working on it today.
10. Be a Role Model
Always remember that children learn what they live. So, parents should start behaving the way they want their children to behave. Treat your children with compassion and understanding so that they treat others the same way.
The above steps will help you strengthen your relationship with your children. These will also work wonders in making your child follow rules and understand what is expected from her. Always keep in mind that you do not need to punish your child in order to make her learn something.
Experts believe that punishments create more misbehaviour in kids. They become angry and defensive. They forget their misbehaviour but the punishment remains in their minds. They learn to lie and try not to get caught. So, on the whole, punishments send wrong lessons to kids. Children do not feel safe and secure as well as have lower
IQ levels. On the other hand, children who stay connected when disciplining internalise what they have lived.
Is it necessary to punish kids when they misbehave? How to guide kids without punishments? How to make kids realise their mistake without punishing them? Discuss here.
