Discipline is different from punishment. Here are a few tips to focus on constructive methods to improve bad behaviour.A lot of times parents get angry with kids for doing something wrong. Then they scold the children and leave it at that. It is important to realize that even though you have finished your quota of yelling, the child has perhaps still not understood the root of the problem. He or s
Discipline is different from punishment. Here are a few tips to focus on constructive methods to improve bad behaviour.
A lot of times parents get angry with kids for doing something wrong. Then they scold the children and leave it at that. It is important to realize that even though you have finished your quota of yelling, the child has perhaps still not understood the root of the problem. He or she may likely do the same thing again and again or start sulking in a corner.
Do not leave your child alone to keep thinking or brooding. Once you see your child doing something wrong, question him or her and explain the reason why they should not have done it in the first place. That will make them understand better. Constructive punishment is when you and your child can end the problem on a happy note instead of bitterness. Rather than you and your child going separate ways after an argument, use constructive punishment to make them feel fine even though what they did was inappropriate. Every child bears the brunt and consequences of doing wrong; however focus on discipline which is appropriate.
Here are a few constructive punishments that improve bad behaviour:
Show Them the Right Way
Instead of just telling kids off when they do something wrong, show them the right method to do it. Suppose your child is not tying shoe laces properly, instead of just getting angry, show them the right method of tying the laces by doing it. This will help them learn and keep it in mind later on.
There Are No Bad Kids – Only Bad Behaviour
Kids are not bad, it is just that sometimes you find their behaviour annoying. They are good at heart; they only make mistakes because they are not yet old enough to understand. Unlike adults, who are able to communicate properly, children still have conflict at heart since they are unable to express themselves.
Be a Guide - Not a Leader
Children are not machines to understand everything in one day itself. Unlike adults, who can understand something the minute it is said, many kids keep performing the same mistakes again and again. Be like a friend, mentor or guide instead of being dictatorial.
Use Positive Language
Negative language can have an adverse impact kids hence always try to bring up children in a loving and positive manner. Use positive phrases which convey the message clearly. Ensure that the tone of your choice is respectful and decent and avoid bad words or language while disciplining kids.
Get to the Root of the Matter
For example, if you find your kid cheating while playing a game, confront them and ask them the reason for doing that. Ideally your first question while disciplining kids should be, “What did you do wrong?” Then question them, “Why was that wrong?”
Let Realization Dawn
Once your kids realize their mistake or wrongdoing, they will learn. Unresolved conflicts can keep on lingering in the mind. Hence, whenever you find your children doing wrong address the matter immediately without delay.
Keep your children in mind all the time. Spend quality time with them and let them know that you care. Do not encourage unnecessary arguments. Whenever your children need your attention, they will certainly demand it. Make time for them without being busy always.
Teach Your Kids to Apologize
Whenever your kid does something wrong, teach them the importance of saying sorry and asking for forgiveness. There is nothing wrong in apologizing. Children need to be given an opportunity for rectifying their errors. Always give them second chances.
Thus, we realize that clearing the air is important. Set boundaries and use positive discipline with kids. Remember that mistakes are opportunities to learn. Do not order kids around or boss over them. Do not be controlling or demanding. Positive parenting involves the use of constructive disciplining methods which actually work. Although the word – ‘punishment’ sounds harsh, it need not be that way. Positive disciplining can go a long way by getting to the root of the problem and rectifying the situation. Show kids the right way of doing things.
What are the causes of bad behaviour in children? How to fix bad behaviour in children without punishing them? What are the constructive ways to punish children? Discuss here.
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- The Indiaparenting Team