Hitting, spanking and yelling at kids are features of bad parenting. Here are some common reasons why parents hit their kids and some tips which parents can follow to avoid hitting kids.If you are a parent, you know how common it is to think like spanking your kid once in a while. This becomes particularly true when she is nagging or throwing
tantrums and defying you. The fact is it has got very little to do with her behaviour than your own exhaustion, unhappiness, stress and anxieties. Even though many parents try to refrain from hitting their children, many fail to restraint.
The Reasons Why Parents Hit Kids
Here are some of the reasons why parents spank their kids.
Physically Abusive Parents and Their Behaviour
Research findings suggest that if you have been physically abused, you seem to exhibit similar characteristics. It has been found that physically abusive parents tend to lose their control when faced with extreme negative feelings. These parents generally have very little awareness of the consequences and in most of the cases their action is a direct reaction to their stress. The action as well as the impulse in such cases tends to be the same.
Physically abusive parents are said to have entered adulthood with plenty of unmet needs and emotional deficits. Surprisingly they still tend to be children in terms of emotions. Substance abuse too can have effects on the way one controls her impulses. It has been seen those dependent too much on alcohol tend to hit their kids regularly.
Self Exasperation in Parents
Self exasperation is often a reason why parents spank their kids. It often becomes a way of self defence and they spank out of fear or anger. This certainly is not a healthy way of dealing with the tender souls. Your anxiety is just making you inconsistent as a parent.
Desperation of the Parents
When kids misbehave, it becomes difficult for the parents to understand how they shall cope with such a situation. When they feel nothing seems to work, they end up hitting their kid. Parents in such cases can be ready with a behaviour management plan, so that they know how to react in such cases. You can learn disciplining strategies that can be more helpful.
Alternatives to Hitting
You as a parent should try to understand the difference between disciplining and
punishing. You would want to
discipline your kid to help her learn new skills. Remember, hitting her will not help her learn anything good. On the contrary she might end up becoming an abusive kid at school. So, it is very important that you control your emotions and tackle your child more strategically. Disciplining shall help her learn the different
problem solving skills and use better words.
You must always keep in mind the consequences of hitting your child and consider the logical consequences instead. For instance, if you find her colouring the walls with crayons, think of logical consequences like asking her to wash them off rather than
spanking her. This shall be a good way to teach her about respecting properties.
Restitution is a good way, she shall learn new skills. This shall also be an effective way to reduce her aggressive behaviour.
Disciplining goals shall include helping her learn new skills and tools that she would need while growing up as an adult. Thus it is important you determine the strategies to be used. This shall help you derive the ways she shall benefit from your intervention.
Parenting includes a lot. You can in fact make it easier for you as well as your child with effective strategies. So, keep in mind to stay calm and adopt a more effective method of disciplining her. Happy parenting!
What are the causes behind the aggressive nature of parents? How to discipline kids without hitting or spanking them? How to avoid hitting kids? Discuss here.