It is a wrong idea harboured by many parents that spanking is a necessary part of disciplining a child. Although as a parent your intent might be to ‘teach’ a lesson to your kid so that he does not repeat the wrong action, but in the long run you would notice that spanking is bringing about some serious negative impacts on the kid.
Children might tend to be disobedient or unmanageable, but there are reasons for their undesired behaviour. These reasons should be explored and dealt with, as spanking is not the right solution to discipline your kid.
Impacts of Spanking a Child
Given below are some impacts and reasons on why spanking should be avoided:
Kids Learn Through Imitation –
All kids have a tendency to copy what their elders practice before them and accordingly assumes that this is the right way to behave. Take for instance this situation where a mother suddenly spots her elder daughter aged 3 years, hitting her son, aged 1 year. She gets terrified and asks her daughter why she is doing so. The little girl says that she was merely playing mommy with her brother.
The point is, the girl assumed that it is okay to spank as her mother does the same with her. So as a parent you need to behave with her in a way that you would also like her to behave. Always be a good teacher.
Spanking Devalues the Kid –
When the kid is hit, it is not only physical abuse but it also means that the kid deserves to be hit. This is exactly how the kid perceives the action. This is highly undesirable as it makes the child feel dejected and lowers his
self esteem.
Even if you shower extreme love to the kid, and then spank him for a certain ‘offence’ the child is too young at times to understand the reason for the whack. He gets confused. Even a tight hug afterwards, may not mend the disillusion or the disheartenment. And if the spanking continues, the child feels that it is happening to him just because he is young and defenseless. That is, the grudge grows within.
Spanking Leads to Aggression –
This is a common observation. You will find that the first time you hit your child, he listens to you. This is because he is so startled and taken aback that he simply wants to get back your loving form. The next time you hit him and in the subsequent times, he feels let down and silently questions your behaviour. He listens to you again more out of
fear.
When you continue with the habit of spanking feeling that it is effective, the child is actually repeating his mistakes and taking your spanking for granted as well. This is not affecting him emotionally like before and he begins to feel that spanking is at the most that you will do to him and he can have his way. The aggression naturally grows.
Apart from physical hitting which is spanking, many parents resort to emotional hitting. This can also fall under the same category as it affects the child in a near about similar manner. Verbal punishment, name calling etc. causes a dent in the self esteem of the child. Even threatening the kid by saying something like, “If you don’t do this, I’ll leave you” is not called for.
The child might listen to your directives, and you think that the method is fine, but the child listens to you due to the fear of abandonment. The child grows up with insecurity which hampers the desired growth of his personality and can cause issues in his later life as well. Discussing and patiently talking to the child, helping him understand is always advisable than hitting the child.
