Children do learn from their surroundings. What to do if your child
back answers you? Read on and get some parenting tips on dealing with a
child who talks back.
Neena finds it difficult to deal with the rude words of her ten year
old daughter but she knows the trick very well. Sometimes her daughter
just refuses to complete her homework. Sometimes she thinks her mom is
being unfair to her. Neena believes in calm parenting, she is totally
against spanking. Neena firmly tells her daughter that her behaviour is inappropriate and not acceptable.
Often this trick works but what if this trick does not work? What to do
if your child still back answers you? How can parents deal with disrespectful behaviors of children? How to deal with back talk?
Talk to your child
There could be several reasons when a child uses foul words or just be
rude. If your child back answers you, do not overreact by slapping or spanking. Understand the reasons why not to hit your child.
Talk to your child. Understand what the problem is and address the
problem calmly. You may have a small discussion with your child. Have the courage to say NO to your child if that is what the situation demands. Does your child watch too much television and back talk when you tell him to limit the timing?
As a parent you must be familiar with the words, 'it is not fair', 'you
do not understand me', I will not do it', 'leave me alone.' Children
try to become bossy at a time but you can make them listen to you without being harsh on them.
Positive and negative reinforcement
Parents do lose their heads when children use dirty words. Parents should understand the importance of conduct but in right way. You can teach manners
to your child by showing positive or negative attitude when it is
required. Note down the behavior of your child. If he did five good
things or displayed good manners
buy him a new pair of jeans. On the other hand, if he disobeys or back
answers, you may restrict his use of video game or just take away his possessions for some time. Positive and negative reinforcement will encourage good behavior and will discourage indiscipline.
Compliment your child's good behavior
Parents do prefer spanking when children display misbehavior but do they compliment good behavior? Encouraging obedience
will encourage him to show discipline next time too. Do you praise your
tot when he takes your permission to go out to play? Do you compliment
him when he hit the sack on right time? Do you admire him when he does his homework
on time? Encourage your child's good behavior with praising words. A
word of admiration will make your child think before being impudent. He
will think twice before answering you back.
Be good role models
No one is perfect but being a role model for your child is not difficult. Do you fight with your spouse in front of your child? Take a notepad and jot down the bad words
you used in the last week? Are you setting a good example in front of
your child? Children blindly ape what they watch and hear. Your child
may be following your example. Be careful while picking up the words in
your day to day routine. It is effective to impose manners through actions than through preaching.
Do not tolerate disrespectful behavior
You do not need to spank or scold your child while dealing with his
back talk but you have to be firm. Address him immediately if your
child back answers you. Tell him, 'you cannot back answer', 'this is
not accepted behavior' or 'I will not tolerate such behavior.' Let him
know where he went wrong. Make your child realise that his behavior is
not correct and that he should mind his manners. Be firm and do not give in to your child's sassy behavior. Set some boundaries.
How to handle back talk?
You may feel a strong urge to hit your child if he behaves rudely or
answers your back but hold on. By doing so you are making them think
that it is perfectly alright to hit someone. Here are few things you
can do if your child back answers you.
At certain age children do learn to think individually. They start exploring the world around them. They go out and make friends. They imitate their parents, peers and friends. They are rude
at a time. They make their parents go berserk by being impolite. They
think parents are being dominant. Parents need to act smartly at such
situations. Handling your child's rude behavior calmly will make him
realise his mistake. Next time he will be a good boy and not a spoilt brat.
- Discuss with other parents about handling rude behavior of children
- Avoid giving excessive attention to your child's back talking or tantrums
- Be clear about what is okay and what is not okay to say
- Avoid hitting your child if he answers back
- Respect your child, do not respond by verbally abusing him
- Sit down and have a conversation about respecting parents
- Walk into the other room if your child goes on arguing with you
- Tell your child to behave nicely or be prepared to face the consequences