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Raising Children Topics..

You are here : home > Raising Children > Behavioral Problems > What to do if your child back answers you?

What to do if your child back answers you?

Children do learn from their surroundings. What to do if your child back answers you? Read on and get some parenting tips on dealing with a child who talks back.

Neena finds it difficult to deal with the rude words of her ten year old daughter but she knows the trick very well. Sometimes her daughter just refuses to complete her homework. Sometimes she thinks her mom is being unfair to her. Neena believes in calm parenting, she is totally against spanking. Neena firmly tells her daughter that her behaviour is inappropriate and not acceptable.

Often this trick works but what if this trick does not work? What to do if your child still back answers you? How can parents deal with disrespectful behaviors of children? How to deal with back talk?

Talk to your child

There could be several reasons when a child uses foul words or just be rude. If your child back answers you, do not overreact by slapping or spanking. Understand the reasons why not to hit your child. Talk to your child. Understand what the problem is and address the problem calmly. You may have a small discussion with your child. Have the courage to say NO to your child if that is what the situation demands. Does your child watch too much television and back talk when you tell him to limit the timing?

As a parent you must be familiar with the words, 'it is not fair', 'you do not understand me', I will not do it', 'leave me alone.' Children try to become bossy at a time but you can make them listen to you without being harsh on them.

Positive and negative reinforcement

Parents do lose their heads when children use dirty words. Parents should understand the importance of conduct but in right way. You can teach manners to your child by showing positive or negative attitude when it is required. Note down the behavior of your child. If he did five good things or displayed good manners buy him a new pair of jeans. On the other hand, if he disobeys or back answers, you may restrict his use of video game or just take away his possessions for some time. Positive and negative reinforcement will encourage good behavior and will discourage indiscipline.

Compliment your child's good behavior

Parents do prefer spanking when children display misbehavior but do they compliment good behavior? Encouraging obedience will encourage him to show discipline next time too. Do you praise your tot when he takes your permission to go out to play? Do you compliment him when he hit the sack on right time? Do you admire him when he does his homework on time? Encourage your child's good behavior with praising words. A word of admiration will make your child think before being impudent. He will think twice before answering you back.

Be good role models

No one is perfect but being a role model for your child is not difficult. Do you fight with your spouse in front of your child? Take a notepad and jot down the bad words you used in the last week? Are you setting a good example in front of your child? Children blindly ape what they watch and hear. Your child may be following your example. Be careful while picking up the words in your day to day routine. It is effective to impose manners through actions than through preaching.

Do not tolerate disrespectful behavior

You do not need to spank or scold your child while dealing with his back talk but you have to be firm. Address him immediately if your child back answers you. Tell him, 'you cannot back answer', 'this is not accepted behavior' or 'I will not tolerate such behavior.' Let him know where he went wrong. Make your child realise that his behavior is not correct and that he should mind his manners. Be firm and do not give in to your child's sassy behavior. Set some boundaries.

How to handle back talk?

You may feel a strong urge to hit your child if he behaves rudely or answers your back but hold on. By doing so you are making them think that it is perfectly alright to hit someone. Here are few things you can do if your child back answers you.

  • Discuss with other parents about handling rude behavior of children

  • Avoid giving excessive attention to your child's back talking or tantrums

  • Be clear about what is okay and what is not okay to say

  • Avoid hitting your child if he answers back

  • Respect your child, do not respond by verbally abusing him

  • Sit down and have a conversation about respecting parents

  • Walk into the other room if your child goes on arguing with you

  • Tell your child to behave nicely or be prepared to face the consequences
At certain age children do learn to think individually. They start exploring the world around them. They go out and make friends. They imitate their parents, peers and friends. They are rude at a time. They make their parents go berserk by being impolite. They think parents are being dominant. Parents need to act smartly at such situations. Handling your child's rude behavior calmly will make him realise his mistake. Next time he will be a good boy and not a spoilt brat.

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abhishek.5 years ago
thats really bad
bhavik.5 years ago
nice article for parents!
smita.8 years ago
recently my three yr son has come up with some unexpected behaviour like back chatting not listening to anyone.i sometimes losse my temper and hit him too but i knw that is not the solution to it.the thing is that he has become very stubborn and just wants to do what he wishes despite the fact that it might hurt or harm him.he has not yet started going to school and i also fear what he might do in school?pl advice for this problem of mine for it always keeps ticking me throughout the day
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