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Manners and Discipline Topics..

 
You are here : home > Manners and Discipline > Disciplining Children > Spare the Rod

Spare the Rod

If you thought hitting your children was a good way to enforce discipline, think again. Here are 5 more reasons you should spare the rod.

Can be dangerous

  1. Many parents never learned in their own childhood that there are positive ways of relating to children. When punishment does not accomplish the desired goals, and if the parent is unaware of alternative methods, punishment can escalate to more frequent beatings, which could be dangerous, physically or mentally, for the child.


    Anger keeps festering

  2. Anger and frustration are not easily expressed by a child, and keep festering within. One day your child will be old enough and strong enough to display his rage, and such rage is often directed towards parents who hit their children regularly and focus excessively on discipline. Punishment may appear to produce "good behavior" in the early years, but always at a high price, paid by parents and by society as a whole. An angry teenager who has been subject to regular beatings at home may grow up into an insensitive adult, who doesn't think twice before beating up someone else. Such behaviour only increases violence in a society.


    May lead to sexually deviant behaviour

  3. Spanking on the buttocks, an erogenous zone in childhood, can create in the child's mind an association between pain and sexual pleasure, and lead to difficulties in adulthood. "Spanking wanted" ads in alternative newspapers attest to the sad consequences of this confusion of pain and pleasure. If a child receives little parental attention except when being punished, this will further merge the concepts of pain and pleasure in the child's mind. A child in this situation will have little self-esteem, believing he deserves nothing better.

    Even relatively moderate spanking can be physically dangerous. Blows to the lower end of the spinal column send shock waves along the length of the spine, and may injure the child. The prevalence of lower back pain among adults in our society may well have its origins in childhood punishment. Some children have become paralyzed through nerve damage from spanking, and some have died after mild paddlings, due to undiagnosed medical complications.


    Gives the message that might is right

  4. Physical punishment gives the dangerous and unfair message that "might makes right", that it is permissible to hurt someone else, provided they are smaller and less powerful than you are. The child then concludes that it is permissible to mistreat younger or smaller children. When he becomes an adult, he can feel little compassion for those less fortunate than he is, and fears those who are more powerful. This will hinder the establishment of meaningful relationships so essential to an emotionally fulfilling life.


    Discourages awareness of alternate disciplinary models

  5. Because children learn through parental modeling, physical punishment gives the message that hitting is an appropriate way to express feelings and to solve problems. If a child does not observe a parent solving problems in a creative and humane way, it can be difficult for him to learn to do this himself. For this reason, unskilled parenting often continues into the next generation.

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samvedna.3 years ago
My son is 4 yrs old and is very naughty never listen a word for what we have to say .Only if I have a stick he listen.I had given him once tightly afterwhich he knows that hitting is painful and listen though I don't use it now but only show him the stick to make him to do his work. My mil comes and tell that in their family nobody has brought him like that and I am bringing him up this way.however patiencely I go he get angry and another thing is that he has nobody to play and he is alone.I am planning to open a play home myself so that my son get company and will be able to mingle with other kids .Sometimes I think stick should be used to discipline the child when he is way out of control.
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I was spank.7 years ago
I think sparing the rod is bad idea. I was brought up if i did something wrong/bad i was spanked. Times my parents didn't spank me made me feel like i got away with something. Everything a child does is a test on a parents reaction on how they will deal with it. And i tested my parents. My parents didn't spank just to spank, every situation had a different reaction. I have a sister who believes in sparing the rod and her kid DOSE NOT LISTEN!!! That kid walks all over her he's only 3. She try's TIME OUTS which i think is the funniest thing ever because he never does it. The reason why it doesn't work is because it's like a small dog all bark and no bite. Children need to know the second they step out of line that rod will follow. You have to be strict with your kids, they must respect you. Later you can loosen up a little. It doesn't work the other way loose then strict by the time you decide to lay down the law your kid will never believe you, ask my sister.
Who ever wrote these 5 reasons to spare the rod i think is a dumb ass. Spanking your kid doesn't lead to all this. Abusing your kid will lead to this. Spanking and ABUSING are two totally different things.
 
 
 
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Anjali.7 years ago
very well writtern priyanka, will definately help... but wasn't aware of all this thing and thought the only solutions is punishment....

thank you.
anajli
 
 
 
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Love.7 years ago
yu have to show love and careing to the child i have never raised my hand on my children, today my children are 21 and 19, all i have told them is do good, be good and give me good results, i have brought them closer to god and only by the word ie the bible i have done this with my children, never show anger, just try a little bit of love and patients and see the difference. it will do wonders. god bless all the children int the world.
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Young Parent.7 years ago
oh my god, i have got enough of beatings from my parents. even though they are good souls i have to admit to the fact that the most dangerous impact of their physical punishment is my very wrong feeling that might is right. that has lead me to boxing someone less physically fit than me. moreover, i see a tendancy in my 3 yr old kid to obey only with a bit of beating. i have been doing it and it is a promise to all those who read this and more so to my three year old child and my wife that i will never physically punish my child.

all of three and he already gets few wacks on his legs and hands and be sure baby, no more, i love you

thanks priyanka for the eye opener.
 
 
 
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ramani.7 years ago
my parents have expired long back and i could get only a few of advices from my m-i-l, this article is very helpful for mothers like me. thank you very much.
 
 
 
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