All your parents want is the love of your children, and their respect. It is easy for children to back-answer grandparents. Teach them how to be respectful.
Grandparents, whose life revolves around their grandchildren, are rarely given the love they deserve or crave. On the other hand, those grandparents who have a life of their own, who are involved human beings, who have a social life, a career or fulfilling hobbies, tend to be more respected by their grandchildren.
Teach your children to be polite to their grandparents. This does not mean that you should quash every argument at the outset. Let the children and their grandparents
speak their mind, but at the same time make sure that your children are
not rude. If they back-answer once and get away with it, they will do
so again, so you need to make sure that you check them the very first
time they back-answer.
It makes more sense for the
grandparent to check the child when the child is rude to him or her, or
the child will feel that the grandparent is not able to stand up for
himself or herself. Often parents drill it into the child's head that
the adult is always right, and no matter, what, we should respect them. While certain respect is due to every elderly person, there is only so much respect a child will give. After that, a child will give respect where he feels respect
is due, and no matter what you do, once your child grows up, if he
feels an elderly person is not to be respected, the child will not
hesitate before being short with such elderly person.
When you are sending your children to your grandparents home to spend the day, never give the children the feeling that they are doing their grandparents a favour by spending time with them. Let the children know that their grandparents love them and are happy to have them at any time, but the children should behave themselves when they are with their grandparents as neither the grandparents, nor you, will tolerate any nonsense.
You can allow your grandparents to spoil your children, but make sure your grandparents check the children if the children are ever rude to them.
Teach by example. Do not
correct your parents in front of your children, as your children will
tend to do the same. Similarly, never lose your temper with your
parents, or raise your voice at them in front of your kids, even if it is for something like telling
your parents to have their medication on time. Be as polite to your
parents as possible in front of your children, and your children will
follow your example.
While all parents know
the effect their upbringing has on their children, they are still
unable to pinpoint what they did right or wrong. When you go for a
party with your children, do not come home and laugh about the antics
of the guests with them, or speak bad about any particular aunt, uncle
or relative. Your children will grow up to be negative, critical human beings,
noticing the bad in someone before noticing the good. Instead, if you
have a grouch with someone, discuss it with your spouse, not with your
children. If you had an argument with someone, leave the kids out of
it. Your children don't have to go out of their way to be nice to
everyone, but showing respect and being civil to elders is the essence of good breeding.
i love my grand parents very much.
they are the backbone of any home or any nation. we should learn so many things from them & make thing batter
i do agree with that we should show more love for our parents,at the same time, we are the best model of our children.
i am a grandparent of two. i will teach them to respec their elders. sadly my son or daughter-in-law do not respect me or my husband.
my heart is broke. :(
excellent article. in this age of non-discipline....it is good to see someone write something of common sense.
i found this article after searching for answers for how my great granddaughter accused me of being mean to her for a long time.
she and my granddaughter are the same age and stay here often. i enjoyed them and i thought they enjoyed being here.
yesterday my granddaughter came with my great granddaughter to confront the fifteen year old about her behavior of defying the rules while here.
i was shocked beyond words to find out that this child has hated me for a long time. the hate that showed in her face and came out of her mouth felt like i had been hit by a truck.
her mom and dad honestly are good parents who do everything they can to teach the children respect and right from wrong.
her mom has known she was saying i treated her mean for a long time. i guess she didn't want to hurt me so she never told me about it.
of course her not telling me just made it worse because i had no ideal what things i was suppose to have done.
when i ask the child to tell me what i did she could not come up with anything other than she had a right to her feelings. nothing specific was ever said.
i really needed to read this article in order for me not to sit around and blame myself for being stupid. i now feel like i don't need to spend my time dwelling on her hate and looking for reasons why she feels this way.
i'm going to leave this matter for her parents to solve because i'm totally clueless of where she's coming from.
after yesterday, i doubt i will ever feel safe for the child to stay here. her hate toward me was to strong.
again, thank you for such a great article. i sent it to her mother in hopes they all read it.
i love your article...i live with my 4 grandsons. my daughter works more than full time amd i am the only one here at home with the boys. i give my heart and soul to them everyday..i do the menial tings and the important things for them...my background as a principal of an elementary does not serve me in good stead at this time. the boys are fresh, answer back, provoke each other and me by raising their voices to the height that you would not believe. if i ask a favor of one of them for one of them, such as going to pick the youngest one up from wherever he may be, there's an argument as to who should go...why is he there, why can't he get a ride home, etc. etc. etc. by this time i am in tears. finally, after all of this back talk, one will go. aftetr all of this, my b;lood pressure is sky high, i am trembling and i can't believe how i am being disrespected. there are scens like this everyday. one of the boys has to get in the last word no matter what. it isn't funny..the whole house is out of control and my daughtr and son in law come home after their hectic days to all of this. what is the answer? please offer me a sugeestion. please! thank you!