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Raising Children Topics..

You are here : home > Raising Children > Parental Relationships > Join the Debate

Join the Debate

Join the Debate

Do fathers help out enough with the children? Tell us what you think.

Men often believe that if they are the breadwinners of their family and their wives are at home, looking after kids is mom's job. After all, how fair is it for them to be slogging it out all day at work, only to return home and start changing diapers, cleaning up after kids or handling tantrums?

Stay-at-home-moms spend all day with children. Looking after kids is not an easy job, as all moms - and dads know (but may not admit it). Think about it. Work is intellectually stimulating, and you're not spending every minute of the day toiling hard. Meetings over lunch, brainstorming session, office gossip... work can be fun! Would you rather be at home running after screaming children, or would you rather go to the office?

Work at the office stops at a certain time, but you can never take time off from being a mother. You may be fast asleep, but when your baby starts crying in the middle of the night, throws up all over her clothes and sheet, requires a feed and a change of diaper, you can't say, "Hey, it's my time off!" At times, you do need a break, and if you don't have a maid for the child, then should your husband take over when he's home?

Perhaps he doesn't need to completely take over, but surely he can lend a helping hand. He's been working all day in the office, but you too have been working all day at home.

Maybe he's been working very hard, and is exhausted when he gets back. But in such cases, spending time with your child can be very relaxing and de-stressing. Changing a nappy after tallying numbers all day can be a relief, but changing nappy after nappy after nappy is not as much fun.

Also, fathers, realize that it's not just about the fact that your work is out of the house, while your wife needs to take over at home. It's also about bonding with your child. Just pinching your child's cheeks once in a while doesn't equal to bonding. The more you do for your child, the more you will appreciate and love each other, and the deeper will be your bond.

But on the other hand, when you have a maid, in-laws or others who help you with your children, do you still expect husbands to lend a helping hand?

Does your husband help out with the kids, or does he leave it to you? Are you happy with the amount of time he spends with your children, or do you wish he spent more?

Fathers, do you think you spend enough effort or time on your children? Do you think your wives are justified if they want you to help out at home? In certain situations, like when your wife has maids or other help, isn't expecting you also to chip in, unfair? How about where both of you are working? Who does more work at home?

Fathers and mothers, husbands and wives, hop aboard and air your views.

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Tony S
Tony S.10 years ago
yes nowadays fathers are actively involved in rearing children. but sometimes they get so involved that the mother feels left out and insecure as the kid starts feeling daddy is better than mommy. also it is good if fathers concentrate on their careers in terms of individual achievements and involve in child rearing only upto some extent. they should be fathers and not try to take the mothers place. i am currently facing this problem.
adi.10 years ago
yes fathers are more responsible these days
i see this in my hubby, my brother etc which is good
maya.10 years ago
my husband thinks since he's working all day and i;m at home, he should not have to help out! but he helps when i'm tired, but doesnt take on any particular responsibility. i think, why should his work end at 6 in the evening, but mine carries on all!!!
maya.10 years ago
my husband thinks since he's working all day and i;m at home, he should not have to help out! but he helps when i'm tired, but doesnt take on any particular responsibility. i think, why should his work end at 6 in the evening, but mine carries on all!!!
shilpa.10 years ago
some times my husband helps me, but most of the time he will be tired in office and want to rest. but he loves to play with him rather than helping.
he plays with him while i am working in the kitchen.
Help fathers
Help fathers.10 years ago
in the age of the neuclear family, the role of both parents is almost an equal one. most women also choose to work and so the fathers must pitch in and gie the woman a break.
if you donot do your job as a father and merely see yourself as a materialistic provider / breadwinner , you should give your self that title
don't expact your child to come and call you daddy /papa etc .....
fatherhood dosent end at matriistic provision bond with kids and be a part of their developemnt.
Suresh.10 years ago
fathers always have a willing to help to take care of the children, though it is hard to take total responsibility because of their office pressures and their patience level.
but, when both parents are going for work, husbands should take equal responsibilities in care taking.
Venkat.10 years ago
fathers now a days are lot changed. i read this site regularly and check for my baby development. however i find my wife does not take my views seriously but she will consider another women views. women actually do not know how to set the limit. they want their husbands to be involved but they also act stupid when the fathers are involved seriosly.
Radhu.10 years ago
i am lucky that my husband understands the situtaion. i am also a working mom and he does help me out when he is at home. he plays with our daugther, gives her bath and sometimes even offers to give her food if i am busy. since both of us share the duties, each feels much relaxed and better rather than dumping the work on one single person.
infact, the trend is changing and more and more fathers are truly accomadating the fact that they too have a role in the bringup of a child and thereby helping their wives out.
Honey.10 years ago
i think while times are changing - a majority of indians are still "conditioned" otherwise; i'd say bringing up kids fall on moms - working or not; to make father's more receptive the cjange has to come from corporates (role which most father's associate with) paternity leave, compulsory pta meetings with both parents etc should be implemented
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