
“Why can't I stop yelling at my little one?†is the question which every parent asks himself or herself after yelling and screaming at kids. Yelling is a consequence of disability to mange emotions effectively. Let us find out why some parents are unable to avoid yelling at kids and what can they do about it.Yelling at kids is something that every parent is guilty of at least once in their life time. It is very difficult to completely avoid yelling at your kids but it is when things spin out of control and you find yourself yelling all the time at your children, you know you have a problem.
Psychiatrists and child behaviour specialists agree on the point that
yelling is even more if not equally damaging to kids as
spanking and regular occurrences may permanently damage the delicate psychology of the child. There are some ways which can help you identify the triggers that make you constantly shout at your kids and then you will be better able to control your behaviour.
Venting out Frustration
As adults live in a competitive and highly stressful world they are forced to project a pleasant demeanour at work and at socially important areas. The lack of vent for negative feelings creates a lot of stress and negative energy in the mind. Once you reach home all tired and seething from work it is natural for you to let your guard down. This is the time when your defences are down and even a small act of
disobedience or a small mistake of your child can set off your anger and make you shout.
When you shout you are merely projecting all your other grievances on your child. This is extremely unfair
behaviour and most of the time the child does not even understand what went wrong in the first place.
Repeating from Experience
If you have been shouted to as a child then there is a very high chance that you are going to replicate the same behaviour when you become a parent. This is because your mind has unconsciously absorbed the fact that yelling is the only way of dealing with child trouble.
Sometimes even if you do not want to you will yell at your children because the same situation has happened so many times with you in your childhood. This is where you pause and think about how hurt you used to feel when your parents shouted at you and how you should absolutely protect your kids from feeling that bad.
Reacting to Triggers
When you find yourself yelling at your children regularly then it is time for you to look for the triggers. There are bound to be certain situations which set you off like early mornings when you are pressed for time and your kid is not obeying etc. Or maybe it is after work and you want to relax and you see your kid making a big mess in the house. Whatever the triggers are once you identify them it will be easier for you to stop the vicious cycle of yelling.
Once you find yourself in a potentially stressful anger triggering situation; take a break and remove yourself from the room. Come back only when you have managed to bring your nerves under control.
Anger Management Issues
Some parents have unresolved
anger management issues and continue yelling at their kids with or without triggers. For these parents yelling is as natural and as necessary as breathing and eating and often they do not realize that they have a problem.
If you identify yourself with the above situation or find yourself mostly always losing your temper and yelling at your kids then it is time to take help. Professional counselling and anger management sessions are one of the best ways which can help you deal with your bad temper and verbal outbursts. Getting help is the biggest favour you can do to your relationship with your kids.
Checking the above points is the best way to manage anger and avoid yelling at kids.
Why do some parents find difficult to avoid yelling? What can parents do to avoid yelling? What are the consequences of yelling at kids? Discuss here.