Parents get a shock when they hear kids talking
back to them. Find out how kids develop a habit of talking back. Know how to
deal with back talking children and transform them into obedient angels.
When you hear your kid talk back, it can be a shocking and
embarrassing moment for the parent. Every parent would expect and wish their
kids to be obedient and well-behaved, especially when they are in a social
environment. The habit
of talking back in kids can be stinging as well,
and it can deeply hurt the feelings of a parent, as they hear the statement
when they least expect it. Kids indulge in such behaviour due to some specific reasons and parents definitely can
help them come out of this annoying habit. You need to hold a bit of patience
and with persistent effort, you can surely have your kid transform into an obedient
angel in due course.
Why Do Kids Talk Back?
Here are some factors that
commonly instigate kids to talk back.
The primary reason for talking back is that the kid wants
or desires to break free from parental
control and exercise their own say and control
over their own lives. They want to switch into complete independence.
Unhappy State of Mood
Whenever kids talk back, you will notice that something is
wrong underneath. That is, a kid never talks back when he is complacent or
happy in the state that he is in. There must be some issues that are not as per
his liking and he wants to get out of it.
Disability to Express the Problem
According to behavioural experts, the first step of
controlling a talking back behaviour is to help the kid express his problem in
a constructive manner. If required, parents need to show some laxity in their
behaviour, after all, the objective is to help the kid express himself freely
in a casual manner. So provide that atmosphere to the kid and assure him that
you will not be judgmental and he can express his problems and issues in a fear
Strict and Overtly Disciplined Environment
Remember, a strict and overtly disciplined environment can
be stifling for the kid. Keep the homely environment casual and stress free.
Ensure that the kid must feel happy and relaxed in the environment. It is
conducive for mental development and learning as well. Often it is found that
kids talk back and rebel more if they are forced to comply with a
disciplinarian lifestyle 24x7.
How to Deal with Kids Talking
A quick checklist for parents to deal with kids talking
- Do not hit, spank or yell at your
child. Corporal punishment is seldom effective.
- Do not belittle the kid, in an
attempt to make him feel equally disgraced and offended, because he has
- Do not condemn his behaviour in
public, or personally. Rather try to help him understand why his behaviour
is not acceptable or desirable.
- Guide him in a patient and
sequential manner on how he can rectify his behaviour.
- Introspect and observe the little
cues to find out the exact reason that triggered off such behaviour from
There must be a specific reason and you need to find out
the root so that you can deal with the after effect of it in a better and
effective way. This way, you can also ensure on how to prevent such outbursts
in the future.
Finally, one needs to understand that though it is true
that on certain occasions, it becomes extremely difficult for parents to check
their outburst when they hear their kid talk back. But is advisable to exercise
a little bit of self-restraint and understanding as you are the mature of the
two! The fact is as explained earlier, such type of behavioural issues can be
corrected with patience and dealing with the situation from the kid’s point of
view, while simultaneously helping the kid to understand what is really wrong
with his behaviour.