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Raising Children Topics..

You are here : home > Raising Children > Behavioral Problems > The Habit of Back Talking in Kids

The Habit of Back Talking in Kids

Parents get a shock when they hear kids talking back to them. Find out how kids develop a habit of talking back. Know how to deal with back talking children and transform them into obedient angels.

When you hear your kid talk back, it can be a shocking and embarrassing moment for the parent. Every parent would expect and wish their kids to be obedient and well-behaved, especially when they are in a social environment. The
habit of talking back in kids can be stinging as well, and it can deeply hurt the feelings of a parent, as they hear the statement when they least expect it. Kids indulge in such behaviour due to some specific reasons and parents definitely can help them come out of this annoying habit. You need to hold a bit of patience and with persistent effort, you can surely have your kid transform into an obedient angel in due course.

Why Do Kids Talk Back?

Here are some factors that commonly instigate kids to talk back.

Parental Control

The primary reason for talking back is that the kid wants or desires to break free from parental control and exercise their own say and control over their own lives. They want to switch into complete independence.

Unhappy State of Mood

Whenever kids talk back, you will notice that something is wrong underneath. That is, a kid never talks back when he is complacent or happy in the state that he is in. There must be some issues that are not as per his liking and he wants to get out of it.

Disability to Express the Problem

According to behavioural experts, the first step of controlling a talking back behaviour is to help the kid express his problem in a constructive manner. If required, parents need to show some laxity in their behaviour, after all, the objective is to help the kid express himself freely in a casual manner. So provide that atmosphere to the kid and assure him that you will not be judgmental and he can express his problems and issues in a fear free manner.

Strict and Overtly Disciplined Environment

Remember, a strict and overtly disciplined environment can be stifling for the kid. Keep the homely environment casual and stress free. Ensure that the kid must feel happy and relaxed in the environment. It is conducive for mental development and learning as well. Often it is found that kids talk back and rebel more if they are forced to comply with a disciplinarian lifestyle 24x7.

How to Deal with Kids Talking Back

A quick checklist for parents to deal with kids talking back:

  • Do not hit, spank or yell at your child. Corporal punishment is seldom effective.
  • Do not belittle the kid, in an attempt to make him feel equally disgraced and offended, because he has offended you.
  • Do not condemn his behaviour in public, or personally. Rather try to help him understand why his behaviour is not acceptable or desirable.
  • Guide him in a patient and sequential manner on how he can rectify his behaviour.
  • Introspect and observe the little cues to find out the exact reason that triggered off such behaviour from the kid.

There must be a specific reason and you need to find out the root so that you can deal with the after effect of it in a better and effective way. This way, you can also ensure on how to prevent such outbursts in the future.  

Finally, one needs to understand that though it is true that on certain occasions, it becomes extremely difficult for parents to check their outburst when they hear their kid talk back. But is advisable to exercise a little bit of self-restraint and understanding as you are the mature of the two! The fact is as explained earlier, such type of behavioural issues can be corrected with patience and dealing with the situation from the kid’s point of view, while simultaneously helping the kid to understand what is really wrong with his behaviour.

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Deepti Anand.4 years ago
I am fully agree that children back talking is not acceptable for any kind of parents as this would be a very embarrassing moment in public. Parents can overcome with this situation by listening to their kids and by giving them proper time.
Cincha Juan.5 years ago
I have experienced that children back talk when parents are unable to understand them and listen to them. Kids feel frustrated on being pressurized.
Ballina.5 years ago
i think an open communication can prevent kids from back talking. A friendly atmosphere prevents such behaviour.
Janet.5 years ago
It is very disheartening for parents to hear their kids talking back. Understanding kid's psyche can solve the problem.
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