There is a fine line between self-esteem and self-righteousness. Read on for more.
Welcome to the jungle. The quest is to raise a kid that has a good sense of self. You've been told that praise is the key but be careful because what you haven't been told is that this key can also open the door to a pack of troubles if praise is the only thing you do!
Praise, like any tool for raising kids, can be used inappropriately. Praise
tends to imply attaching a value to a child for demonstrating
particular behaviour. However, children are valuable and should be
loved for the mere fact that they exist. Even though there is a
connection, there is also a difference between valuing children and
facilitating appropriate behaviour. While it is true that children who
are valued tend to behave and perform better, children who are only
praised and whose misbehaviours are not dealt with, tend to believe
everything they do is all right and that the world revolves around
them. This in turn leads to the development of self-righteousness.
can best be described as an attitude about oneself. It is characterized
by a feeling of being important to the exclusion of anyone
else, so that what the child wants or feels or does, counts for
everything above anyone else. Kids with this kind of attitude tend to
be bossy, telling others what to do, or loners because no one else can
measure up. While valuing a child is absolutely important for the
development of a healthy sense of self, praise without direction, feedback and consequences, turns out to be a prescription for a self-righteous attitude.
self-righteousness, self-esteem is the true prize to be sought in terms
of a child's healthy sense of self. Self-esteem is relational. With
self-esteem the child not only feels good about his or herself
individually, but also in relation to others. Self-righteousness is
egocentric while self-esteem is social.
with healthy self-esteem understand and respond to limits. They feel
good about themselves at no one else's expense. These children tend to
be kind and considerate.
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- The Indiaparenting Team