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You are here : home > Confident Child > Self Esteem in Kids > Constant Commands

Constant Commands

Constant Commands

Many of us tend to take our children for granted, and expect them to run around and fulfill all our chores as proof of their love and obedience.

Some parents bend over backwards when teaching their children manners. Recently some visitors came over with their little daughter, and I was surprised when I saw the mother prompt her daughter to get up and start offering the tray of snacks around. They were, after all, guests in my home, and I didn't see the need as to why the little girl should feel as though it is her job to lighten my 'burden'.

Many of us tend to take our children for granted, and constantly expect them to run around and fulfill all our chores and in doing so, to prove their obedience to us. Parents do so much for their children, and do expect their children to run around a little to their bidding. But the way you put your request across is what matters.


How many times have you felt too lazy to get up from your couch, and so made your child run to the kitchen and fetch you a glass of water? If your child is up, running around and willing, sure, you can ask him to bring you water - there's certainly nothing wrong with that. But if your child is also lying down on the couch with you, think twice before commanding him to jump up and do your bidding. This is because, in doing so, you are sending a subtle message to your child that he should learn to take commands and orders from others because he may not be as important as they are. If you do ever want your child to perform a quick chore, make sure you request him, and that he knows the choice is up to him. Don't command your child and make him believe that he is expected to obey you. If you are unwell, you can expect your child to do a lot more running around for you, but at the same time you should let your child know that you are not feeling well, and that he should look after you just like you look after him when he is unwell. This way, your child's sense of self-importance will not be diminished in any way.

Chores v/s Commands

Giving your children responsibility for fulfilling chores is different from expecting them to jump up and fetch you the remote control or a glass of juice from the fridge simply because you are feeling too lazy to do so yourself. Once again, remember that the key difference here is expecting your child to do something, as opposed to requesting him.


And when you go visiting, please don't nudge your little girl and make her get up and serve snacks around! If you are visiting family or are at a place where your child feels comfortable and perfectly at home, it is a different matter. But if she is a guest, do let her sit back and enjoy being treated as a guest. Don't make it a priority to show others what a good little girl you have. Instead, make your little girl your priority.

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Subhash.9 years ago
very good article.....very informative....
Tony S
Tony S.12 years ago
it is good to tell children to do work for u if it involves doing their own things. like for eg. my 1.8 yr old daughter and 3.7 year old son put their solied clothes in the laundry basket on their own. they also sometimes keep folded clothes in their cupboard. my son also fetches water for me if i ask him to. but it would be unfair to make kids runerrands for us if they are studying or playing or doing some activity with their friends. however they should also be taught to help around the house in small ways and one should not forget to praise them. thanx it was a nice article
l.12 years ago
perfectly says the article.let children be children why make them do all frm now...let them learn to take request from others and not that we shd command..they are little ones...imagine u go to somebody's house and a child bringing snacks will really so erranderous for a child to do instead if the same child is playing spontaneously /or rather friendly with u r child will be i correct.
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