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You are here : home > Confident Child > Self Esteem in Kids > Does your Child have Low Self-Esteem?

Does your Child have Low Self-Esteem?

Does your Child have Low Self-Esteem?

Children with low self esteem have certain characteristics that can be pinpointed.Given here is a guideline of checklist of statements that helps in identifying the warning signs of a child suffering from low self esteem.

Self-esteem is an abstract concept that is difficult to measure in terms of high and low. However, children with low self-esteem display certain characteristics that can be pinpointed. What follows is a checklist of statements that will help you identify the warning signals so that you know if your child is suffering from low self-esteem. All you have to do is to click 'yes'or 'no' depending on whether the statement applies to your child or not.

A word of caution. This is merely a guideline. Most children will exhibit some of these characteristics from time to time, but this does not necessarily indicate that they have low self-esteem.

  1. Your child has a tendency to daydream and often makes up stories about herself and her life. She wishes she was someone else and that her life was different. YES/NO.
  2. Your child is constantly running herself down and making derogatory comments about herself. YES/NO.
  3. Your child shrinks away from attention, positive or negative. YES/NO.
  4. Your child is lethargic. YES/NO.
  5. She doubts her abilities. Thus, she is afraid of accepting responsibility for anything. YES/NO.
  6. She is very indecisive, as she has no faith in her judgement. YES/NO.
  7. She is extremely shy in front of strangers and her peers, as she fears that she will not measure up to their standards. YES/NO.
  8. She bullies younger and weaker children in a show of power. YES/NO.
  9. She is attracted to authoritative, confident people and subscribes to their views because she doesn't trust their own judgement. YES/NO.
  10. She is isolated from her peers because she does not push herself forward to participate in games and avoids leadership roles. YES/NO.
  11. She tends to be submissive and does not assert herself. YES/NO.
  12. She seeks attention by boasting about her possessions or plays the fool and disrupts other children's games. YES/NO.
  13. She has a short attention span and gets frustrated easily when things don't go smoothly. YES/NO.
  14. She is not comfortable in new situations and becomes extremely anxious that she will not be able to cope. YES/NO.
  15. If she succeeds at something, she thinks it's because she got lucky or that it was easy. She doesn't ascribe success to her own abilities. YES/NO.
  16. If she fails, she inevitably thinks that it is because of her lack of intelligence or ability. YES/NO.
  17. She does not like to work independently and she is constantly asking people if she's doing things the right way. YES/NO.
  18. She does not ask too many questions out of the fear of being thought stupid. YES/NO.
  19. She rarely laughs or smiles because she is too busy worrying about putting a foot wrong. YES/NO.
  20. She often says nasty things about her peers. YES/NO.


As mentioned before, measuring self-esteem is not as simple as taking temperature. In other words, every statement on this scale does not have the same value. If you have answered 'yes' to most statements, it is possible that your child has a self-esteem problem. However, keep in mind how frequently your child displays these characteristics and the severity of the behaviour. All these statements will apply to all children at some point or the other. They cannot all have low self-esteem.

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jolyn.12 years ago
i really like the article on self esteem, because im a mom of three. not only do girls go through it but the boys too, this article really help me to help them. plez keep up the good work.
Tanya.12 years ago
i really needed to read an article like this. i suffer from low self-esteem from aspects in my childhood - parents expecting perfection and an authoritarian/strict upbringing. i never learned to make decisions on my own. i am now a mother of 3, ages 11,10, and 8. i am desperately trying to give them what i did not have. discipline with love, the chance to express themselves, chance to make decisions and to think for themselves. it's hard when you don't have guidelines to follow. this article helped me immensely!!! thank you.
karen.12 years ago
i was just wondering - my 5-6year old is usually very soft spoken so much so it is often diffucult to hear her - she has a voice and can be louder is this a shyness/self esteem/ anxiety issue? i was wondering also about something called speech/breathing?
Brandi.12 years ago
i have to say i already thought my oldest boy had the low-self-esteem,,but wow now i'm thinking all 4 of my baby's has a form of it one way or another..but we all inconterd the mental abuse from my ex, it was really bad all together 10yrs. of it!! now i know the sighns, now can anyone tell me how to help my poor childern besides loveing them,? i do know that one.. my childern are very very loved!! if anyone has any answers for me please feel free to help my childern by e-mailing me at... thanks so much!! & all of you have a wounderfull~happy day!!!
ani.12 years ago
i also suffer from low self esteem.actually my father always kept on saying to me that u are useless see other kids ,that i have let him down in not geeting highest short because i was not the best in the world
Gerald.12 years ago
i like this article on self esteem ,because, in uganda children from low soc-economic status families have low self they need a psychological help.
ven.12 years ago
im ven from philippines!
im a social work graduating student and im handling cases of abused children. most of them really needs to develop their self-esteem and this article really really helped them improve!!!! thanx!
bev.12 years ago
my 12 year old son suffers from low self esteem which is affecting him at school.didnt realise how bad it was until i read this article.iwill try to get him the help he needs to get through this
XD BOMB USA no la just joking D
cool website. i like.
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