For couples who discover that they cannot have children for whatever reason, the loss of parenthood, a basic ingredient of life, comes as a rude shock. If you discover that you are infertile don't feel depressed or guilty. Today treatment is available. Also adopt a positive attitude.
People take parenthood as much forgranted as birth and death. You are born, you get an education, then ajob, followed by marriage, parenthood and finally death. This is some kindof unwritten cosmic schedule that humans follow and no one really thinksabout the progression of events as they live their lives. You just flowfrom one phase of life to another in a seamless fashion. For couples whodiscover that they cannot have children for whatever reason, the loss ofparenthood, a basic ingredient of life, comes as a rude shock.
Most couples who are told that theyare infertile find it difficult to accept this verdict. After all, peopleall over the world are having babies every minute. It's the most naturalthing in the world. The next thought that occurs to them is consideringthe rate at which medical technology is advancing, surely the problem canbe fixed. This is true to a certain extent. Various infertility treatmentshave worked for many couples who were having difficulty conceiving a child.But there are still some couples that slip through the cracks. After spendinghuge amounts of money and following all the doctors' instructions, somecouples still fail to conceive a child.
These couples often slip into a deepdepression. They think - "Why us?" They should realize that there is nopoint beating themselves up pointlessly about something that is beyondtheir control. They should try to resign themselves to the fact some thingsare just not meant to be. However, couples pass through many agonizinghours of self-doubt and despair before they reach this ideal state of acceptance.
The husband or the wife often feelsguilty thinking that it is his or her fault that conception was not possible.Sometimes the man or woman's own feelings of guilt drive them to ascribethese feelings to their partners. This is usually unwarranted as the thoughtmay have never crossed their partners' minds, nor have they acted in amanner indicating that they blamed the other person.
Women who are infertile often feelthat the fact that they cannot bear children makes them less of a womanor inadequate in some way. Unfortunately, this is a sentiment that is oftensupported in society. Being barren is not a stigma that a woman shouldhave to bear like a cross for the rest of her life. There is much moreto a woman than her ability to bear a child.
Similarly, if conception was notpossible as a result of male infertility, the male partner may feel thatit is a slur on his manhood. Men should remember that sterility does notautomatically mean a loss of virility. Sterile men can still be extremelyvirile.
Childless couples should make everyattempt to pull themselves out of the depths of despair. Speaking to othercouples in a similar situation can be a source of great solace. These couplesshould try to find out about infertility support groups. They should learnto accept their childlessness as a fact of life and learn to deal withit positively. Adoption is an option that they may want to consider. Ifadoption is not a choice they would like to make, then they will have tofind other ways to channel their love for children. Remember that parenthoodis an experience that should not be missed out on if possible. But if youcan't be a parent, life does go on. There is a whole wide world out therewith a new experience around every bend.