Pre-Teen's Growth and Development (9 Years, 10-Month-Old)

Yourchildstillconsidersyoutobeherrolemodel.Yourbehavioursthusshallhaveahugeimpactonheroverallgrowthanddevelopments.Readontofindouthowtoaid9years,10-month-oldchild’sdevelopment.Yourkidisgrowingandcapableofdoingmanythingsthatshenevertriedbefore.However,youcanuseyourownbehaviourtoguideher,asshestillconsidershertobeyourrolemodel.Youractionsaresometimesmoreimportantthanyourwords.Ifyouwanthertodevelopthehabitofsaying“please”,youneedtodoityourselfaswell.Ifyoudonotwanttospeakloudly,youtooneedtopracticespeakinggently.Hereishowyoucandealwithyour9years,10-month-oldchild.InthisarticleShareYourFeelingsBeAttentiveGetDownActiveListeningKeepYourPromisesDoNotGiveInSimpleCommandsHumourShareYourFeelingsItisimportanttoletherknowhowyoufeel.Youcanbehonestabouthowherbehaviourisaffectingyou.Thisshallhelpherunderstandyourfeelingsbetter.Yourchildshallgrowmoreempatheticthisway.Whenyouusetheword“I”,shecanseethingsfromherownperspective.Forinstance,youcansay,“Icannothearanythingoverthephonebecauseofyourshouts.”BeAttentiveGrabherattentionwhensheisdoingsomethinggood,thiswillhelpherknowsheisbeingwatchedwhenshebehaveswell.Youcansaythingslike,“youareplayingsodecentlytoday”.Positivephrasescanhaveahugeimpactonherbehaviour.However,youmustalsotalkabouthernegatives,butmakesureyouarenotgettingtoocritical.Ifyouaregivingherachoicebetweennegativeattentionandnoattentionatall,sheshallchoosetoactnegativelytograbyourattention.GetDownItisimportanttokneeldownandgettoherlevel,whenyouaretryingtoexplainsomethingstoher.Whenyouareclosetoherlevel,youcanhaveabetterunderstandingofwhatsheisgoingthrough.Thisshallalsohelpyoufocusonherbetter.ActiveListeningListeningtowhatsheissayingactivelyshallalsobehelpful.Itisnormalforkidsofthisagetofeelfrustrated,whentheycannotexpresstheirfeelings.Whentheyknowyouarelistening,shemayfeelalotmorerelieved,comfortedandrespected.Thiscanhelpdiffusinghertempertantrumsaswell.KeepYourPromisesIfyouaremakingpromises,makesuretosticktothem.Thisisawaysheshalllearntorespectandtrustyou.Soifyouhavepromisedherfavouritegameifshefinishesherfood,youmuststraightawaydothat.Donotcreateafussoverit.Yourkidshallfeelsecuredwhenyoukeepapromise,becauseshecanpredicttheseriesofincidences.DoNotGiveInIfsheiswhining,youmustnotgiveintoherdemand.Doingthis,youshallactuallytempthertowhinemore.Ifyoutendtogiveup,sheshallthrowhertantrumsagainandhopetogetluckynexttime.SimpleCommandsWhenyougivecommands,makesuretokeepthemsimpleandshort.Whenyougiveclearinstructions,itshallbeeasierforhertounderstandwhatisexpectedfromher.Whenyougiveherresponsibilities,alsoremindheroftheconsequencesofforgettingthem.Forinstance,youcanremindher,ifsheforgetstotakeherlunchboxsheshallstayhungryalltheafternoon.Again,youmustalsoremindheroftheconsequencesofwrongbehaviours.Thisshallhelpbothofyoutocometotermsinadvance.Criticismsandnaggingscanmakeyourkidbored,soyouneedtoremindherandmoveon.Ifyouthinkyouaregivingherthelastchance,remindherthatyouwillnotbecooperatingwithheranyfurther.HumourIfyouthinkyouaregettingintopowerstruggles,youcandiffuseitwithhumour.Keepingthesenseofhumouraliveshalleaseoutanysortsofrisingtensions.Wishyoualltheluckmommies!Whatdochildrendonotlikebemonitoredduringtheirteenyears?Howtoensuresafetyofteenagers?Whatarethewaystodealwithbehaviouraldisordersduringteenyears?Discusshere.

Your kid is growing and capable of doing many things that she never tried before. However, you can use your own behaviour to guide her, as she still considers her to be your role model. Your actions are sometimes more important than your words. If you want her to develop the habit of saying “please”, you need to do it yourself as well. If you do not want to speak loudly, you too need to practice speaking gently. Here is how you can deal with your 9 years, 10-month-old child.

Share Your Feelings

It is important to let her know how you feel. You can be honest about how her behaviour is affecting you. This shall help her understand your feelings better. Your child shall grow more empathetic this way. When you use the word “I”, she can see things from her own perspective. For instance, you can say, “I cannot hear anything over the phone because of your shouts.”

Be Attentive

Grab her attention when she is doing something good, this will help her know she is being watched when she behaves well. You can say things like, “you are playing so decently today”. Positive phrases can have a huge impact on her behaviour. However, you must also talk about her negatives, but make sure you are not getting too critical. If you are giving her a choice between negative attention and no attention at all, she shall choose to act negatively to grab your attention.

Get Down

It is important to kneel down and get to her level, when you are trying to explain some things to her. When you are close to her level, you can have a better understanding of what she is going through. This shall also help you focus on her better.

Active Listening

Listening to what she is saying actively shall also be helpful. It is normal for kids of this age to feel frustrated, when they cannot express their feelings. When they know you are listening, she may feel a lot more relieved, comforted and respected. This can help diffusing her temper tantrums as well.

Keep Your Promises

If you are making promises, make sure to stick to them. This is a way she shall learn to respect and trust you. So if you have promised her favourite game if she finishes her food, you must straight away do that. Do not create a fuss over it. Your kid shall feel secured when you keep a promise, because she can predict the series of incidences.

Do Not Give In

If she is whining, you must not give in to her demand. Doing this, you shall actually tempt her to whine more. If you tend to give up, she shall throw her tantrums again and hope to get lucky next time.

Simple Commands

When you give commands, make sure to keep them simple and short. When you give clear instructions, it shall be easier for her to understand what is expected from her. When you give her responsibilities, also remind her of the consequences of forgetting them. For instance, you can remind her, if she forgets to take her lunch box she shall stay hungry all the afternoon. Again, you must also remind her of the consequences of wrong behaviours. This shall help both of you to come to terms in advance.

Criticisms and naggings can make your kid bored, so you need to remind her and move on. If you think you are giving her the last chance, remind her that you will not be cooperating with her any further.

Humour

If you think you are getting into power struggles, you can diffuse it with humour. Keeping the sense of humour alive shall ease out any sorts of rising tensions.

Wish you all the luck mommies!

What do children do not like be monitored during their teen years? How to ensure safety of teenagers? What are the ways to deal with behavioural disorders during teen years? Discuss here.