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You are here : home > Raising Children > Parental Relationships > Fighting in front of your children? > Comments

Comments:

Name: Surabhi
Country: India
 We know that when children witness such fights over a period of time then it leaves a bad impression on their minds. As responsible adults, we need to stop this and try some techniques like reverse counting on our fingers to manage anger, so that the situation doesn't snowball into one big fight. Also, if there is disagreement on some point then that can be discussed when the child is away. Basically, keeping the relationships cordial is not only good for the child but for ourselves as well. Surabhi. Starplatter.com - kids and parenting website.
Name: anonymous
Country: India
 Worth reading beautiful
Name: pooja
Country: India
 M gng through a similar situation in my life.my daughter is just 6mths and my mother in law keeps on fighting with me every weekend I try to avoid it as much as I can however sometimes or the other even I lose my control. I m scared that this will impact my daughters mental development. My husband does not want to leave his parents also as according to him thts how his mother is..m so stuck but I dnt want my daughter to pick up wrong things
Name: Anusha Agnel
Country: India
 i agree that you should never fight in front of your children. it will affect their expectations towards their life and parents.
Name: Rajni
Country: India
 children are really sensitive to the what environment present to them...so that should be carefully thought
Name: Mother
Country: Canada
 i feel like crying when i think about what our arguing is doing to our son. send some prayers my way, any prayer will do
Name: GAIL
Country: India
 i agree that you should never fight in front of your children.they will grow up thinking that is a good thing to do
Name: Jenna
Country: USA
 i believe this has a affect on your child such as these. 1. children learn from parents actions 2. think it's their fault 3. adds stress 4. they feel like their not wanted 5. they feel fear 6. they aviod problems 7. creates worries 8. feels guilty so remember you not only hurting your self you hurting you children/child to.
Name: Suzanne
Country: USA
 some men or women just cant't let it go. even when they know their child is listening. and that is not right.
Name: kid
Country: USA
 as a child who listens to her parents fight all the time, it really messes up your relationships because you have never seen a stable one
Name: me
Country: USA
 i m a kid and i think i should i put my thoughts: what it feels like is axes stabbing into my heart and the blood pouring out with every breath i take and i feel like my intestins have knotted up
Name: Diane
Country: USA
 i have been a single parent for the last 6 yrs. and before i broke up with my ex, we used to fight all the time infront of my children, infact that was the reason i had to leave the situation. my kids still very much remember the fighting, and are both affected by it now. they are both in counseling and my son is very aggressive. this is a life impacting subject. you think that a little argument won't hurt, but it actually does. my daughter is attracted to bad boys, and my son is very aggressive. please don't argue in front of your kids, you will pay dearly in the future!
Name: Karen
Country: USA
 always remember, fighting in front of your children changes who they are! i am the product of that and i'm 46 yrs old , i am divorced and know nothing about having a healthy relationship because of what my parents did to me as a child. fighting in front of me , changed me, and not for the better. you lose self confidence, you don't excell in school and god knows you don't know how to have a normal realtionshope with anyone!
Name: jill
Country: England
 excellent site - would you exchange web links with my family site? please visit
Name: NEW GIRLFRIEND
Country: USA
 i am the new girlfriend. my boyfriend is a divorced (for 2 yrs) single father of son age 5. his son's mother has not only been uncooperative with co-parenting, she screams and yells at my boyfriend when he calls to say goodnight to his son every night. he hears her screaches and can't hear his son tell him how much he hates the way mommy yells all the time at him and at daddy when he calls to talk to daddy. if my boyfriend and i have plans on a non scheduled visitation day (he sees his son all but 2 days out of the week) and the ex wife suspects he has plans, she will have their son call daddy up and say daddy i want to come over; and if my boyfriend says that he wont' be home, but daddy will call him later to talk, the ex wife screaches that daddy loves his girlfriend more than you, and daddy would rather spend the day with his girlfriend rather than you. so she has seriously caused tension with us. we only see eachother every 10 days or so, for now. we havent' met eachothers' kids yet, as i have an 8 year old. my boyfriend and i do feel it will soon be time for the kids to meet. i just am a little scared for his little boy because i don't want the mother to poison his impressionable little mind, and say awful things to him. i do feel that our kids will get along great, they are both good kids. so i am looking forward to the introduction and keeping an open mind about all of us spending time together. i think it will enhance our relationship and allow us to spend more time together. we live about 2 hours apart, too. so that doesnt' make it easy. any suggestions on how i can be (as a new woman in his life) handling this situation, be more understanding, which i am doing a pretty decent job of; and how to be supportive and comforting to my boyfriend when his ex wife is being so negative and resentful and hurtful towards their son and my boyfriend?
Name: jeanette
Country: Canada
 screaming and yelling in front of your children can be traumatising for them. if the parents feel they cannot stop or fight more productively than perhaps its time to think about separation. the children have to come first!!
Name: melinda
Country: USA
 when we argued in front of our 2-yr-old son, he woke up in the middle of the night screaming and scared and inconsolable. fighting in front of your children is a truly damamging and shameful thing to do.
Name: I was a kid
Country: usa
 my parents fought and cheated on each other but did end up staying together. they put me and my siblings in the middle of it and used us to get at each other. as a way of trying to cope with this and trying to make both of them happier, i struggled to be perfect and developed anorexia and bulimia. i almost died as a result of it and was hospitalized numerous times. nobody sees the internal struggles that parents can cause their children. if you don't want your child to go through something like this, stop fighting in front of them. it's really not that difficult. grow up and act like the adults you supposedly are and stop trying to hurt each other, but instead try to have a better approach. you tell kids not to fight with each other and we get in trouble if we do, so who is watching you to get you in trouble when you fight?
Name: new girlfriend
Country: usa
 my boyfriend's ex wife is a slutty bitch and their daughter is turning out just like her.....why the hell cant those two just disappear forever????
Name: Sarah
Country: usa
 as a child, the amount of time i spent huddled in front of my parents' bedroom door as they "duked it out" could easily be measured in weeks. i remember chasing my dad's truck down the street when he left (he always came back), and watching my mother tip over the christmas tree she so dearly loved in order to outwardly manifest her hate. my parents stayed together -though god knows why - but only to everyone's detriment. it changed me forever, and i am less of a person today, at 23, than i would have been if they'd just kept their arguments private.
Name: Jen
Country: usa
 my boyfriend's mom of about a year now still doesn't want to meet me because she thinks i was the reason for her sons divorce. she's best friends with his ex and takes every opportunity to schedule events so they can still be one big happy family. now she is doing things with her ex-daughter-in-law and her new boyfriend and still won't even let me in her driveway. there's a little girl who's 5 that loves being with me, but wonders why i can't meet grandma. my boyfriend won't let himself love me 100% because without his mom's acceptance he's having a really hard time. what do i do at this point?
Name: ANITA
Country: usa
 coming from a family of violence were i witnessed my father bashing my mom's head in floors..etc... and very abusive to me, i know all to well or do i....my father always told me i would never be anything and noone would ever love me, i have always been attracted to bad boys, i have never fully had confidence in myself, i have always doubted what i can do and if i am deservant of a good man, well now at 33 i am in a very violent and abusive relationship with a controlling man and have 2 children who are suffering at his hands. it is a terrible place to be in and i do not feel anyone should put their kids through this.. i am trying desperately to get out of this situation... i know it is only damaging me and my kids... please keep us in your prayers...
Name: Me
Country: usa
 if your gonna fight in front of your kids on a regular basis....then you dont are about them!
Name: Richard
Country: usa
 i am concerned about my wife and i fighting in front of my daughter but wonder what i alone can do about it. my wife is constantly yelling and criticising me and it seems to me that my choices are: a) defend myself b) ignore it or at least avoid responding in anger if i choose to defend myself, it quickly escalates into a screaming match or, if i am able to remain calm, a long screaming tirade from her attacking me. if i choose not to defend myself, my daughter starts defending me and my wife ridicules me for not being able to take care of myself. my concern is what is best for my daughter. i am afraid that either way i am modelling behavior that is not good for her and, in the second case, she ends up taking on an adult role that is inappropriate and will be damaging. am i missing something? is there another choice? does anyone have any ideas what i should do?
Name: Amanda
Country: usa
 dont fight in front of your children its not healthy and they loose self confidence in their selves. it damages their lives later in life.
Name: carsy
Country: ireland
 my parents fight in frount of me and i dont like it and if they dont i always can tell by their faces
Name: cszzang
Country: korea
 well i have experienced numerous parent altercations in elementary school and it really was a stab in the heart. i am sure this would be the same for the thousands and millions of poor enervated children throughout the world. children are just too immature and weak to experience such strong conflicts. in addition children's brains are similar to a sponge which absorbs all experiences easily. therefore critical experiences would be easily inhibited by the children and will likely alternate their idiosyncracies. as a parent, try and keep the responsibility of rasing your child with best care, love and support.
Name: Moosa
Country: south Africa
 hi, i recently had a big fight with my father in front of my son, and i can see my son still traumatised by the experience. what can i do, please help?
Name: saikat
Country: india
 i feel gulty now because there was a time in my time when i was involved in a physical relationship with my friends mom,which was not right,i feel it now.
Name: soni_m
Country: India
 hi, i have a2yr kid .itried my bestfor 9 yrs to live with my husband but he is impossible.he is not eaning well infact he is not earning at all my parents have helped him financially many times but all invain .i don't think that my husband will b able to take care of me and my kid in future . plz help what should i do should i leave him .
Name: Prithvi
Country: India
 hi, i am very upset as we are from a middle class family and have a cool mind, two years back my brother got married we all re happy and stay in same area but differnt appartments , than lat yr my nephew came in this world as he is of 1 year now, and my sis-in-law wants to saty with her parents she daily came with her family to fight we want compromise and they want our all appartments on thier name. she no bothers aboout her son who is suffering because of her and later in life he teaches her. god is thr i belive
Name: Hurt kid 21yrs of age
Country: India
 my parents are fighting all the time...my family i think is abt to split up and get torn into pieces... please pray for me and my family...i really want my family to be together, like many other families who are really happy...please pray for me even a very little...thanks a lot...
Name: Anne
Country: Canada
 here's my question... is it better to stay in a relationship that doesn't seem to be "fixable" or separate. what is better for the children who are 8 and 6 years old and very impressionable. please advise.
Name: Very very Scared
Country: U.S.A.
 ok!!!! well i dont know what to do my parents are fighting constenly and i'm tired of it.my bother and sister i worrie about and aslso my parents because the get agresive... and my borther is allways veing nosie and seeing when my parents are fighting about......
Name: Angie
Country: U.S.A.
 i'm a 23yr. old mother. ihave a 4 yr. old daughter. when i was kid my parents fought all the time. my dad would beat my mom and accuse her of cheating. she never cheated.there still together and i am in an abusive relationship.its like a viscous cycle.my last relatioship ended with me having a fractured skull. see where the fighting got me? we have to stop it and grow the hell up. do it for the kids.
Name: kiwan
Country: Latvia
 i live in latvia and i hate it wen my parents fight:( if they do not stop soon im afraid i will turn emo ! :o sum body plz help me childs phone help line even refused tot lk to me sum body pray for me
Name: Hurt kid
Country: India
 im 13 right now and my parents are constantly fighting my dad is doubting my mom and they just cant stop my dad & mom say they feel like killing themselves some times im a very deppressed person wen my parents fight in front of me please pray for me & my family to stay as one happy family forever i will really apprecia te even the littlest prayer i get thank you
Name: Plz dont fight in front of childs
Country: India
 please dont fight in front of children. child is new to this unknown world. you both are the only persons for him/her to look for protection. when you fight in front of your child a thoght gets seeded into his mind - the though is - my parents are fighting, and they are behaving like anything in their anger, i am not seeing their smily and caring face when they are fighting, where has it gone? in this anger, they can leave me, forget me. where will i go when they leave me? where will i stay? what would i say when others ask me why my parents were shouting? should i say they were fighting? that would create a bad image of my parents which i dont want. so i must keep that pain burried in my heart. the seed of fearful and uncertain life is sawed. child's life becomes hell.
Name: Believer
Country: Other
 im 14 yrs old and my parents fight all the time..and fightin means fighting!sometimes when im out my little sisters call me cryin telling me to come home!and usually i hate coming home cause i dont feel safe at all!i feel like im going to hell!i love both my parents very much,but they need to learn to grow up!im learning that everyone is missing something in life!..its okay to have parents that fight!...the only solution is praying to the lord jesus!he can help u .i swear!if it wasnt for him!id be very depressed right now!he teaches you to be a strong person!and trust me,have faith in him,and he'll help u!god bless you!
Name: vishs dad
Country: India
 i would put every thing in simple words. had a fight with wife both contributing to it, shouting at each other and no one relenting, even abusing each others family. i generally go calm and stay aloof but this time god knows what came to me and i just could not catch up with my patience. my nine year old son did not say a word but i could make out that as always he went silent observing both of us. in the fit of rage i even shouted on him. it is mad on my part. i am feeling guilty and definitely try to amend my behaviour for sure for the sake of my son becoming a good human being. i am planning to send this to my wife and adivse others too if they do it like wise(found on a website "raising kids") relationship check-up i wish my wife and i had more time to _________. i love it when my spouse ___________. the thing we argue about the most is ____________. if i could change two things about myself, to better please my spouse, it would be _________ and __________. let me see if it helps. it is 3.45 am and i am unable to sleep due to the innocence with an uneasiness seen on my son's face.
Name: MARYANN
Country: USA
 i truly believe that you should not fight or argue in front of your children because they will always have that in their minds, i'm speaking from experience my children were taken from me and put in fostercare. i truly miss my 4 girls, please pray for us so i can correct my mistake and finish all my classes real soon so i can get them back as soon as possible. thanks. mp & em
Name: Jenna/Gabby
Country: USA
 i think that fighting in front of your children has a great affect on the way they become as a person. when they see their parents fighting it causes them to fear things and people. they also begin to take on the actions of their parents. it can affect them mentally and cause them to feel a sense of confusion as well as put them in a state of depression. you must always keep in mind that children admire their parents and look up to them for guidance in life so if they grow up in a hostile household they may grow to be insecure as well as violent. remember your children should come first!
Name: Emmanuel
Country: Canada
 i am a 12 yrs old kid who is going thru some tuff tmes...my mom left for south africa and my dad found out now they are going to a custudy battle and i is really hearting me...i feel like some days i just dont care about stuff my report card dopped lots of percentage and other stuff and everyone is goin against my mom and my dad is forceing me to agry with him in everything but it just makes me even more angry and somedays having a spaze attack and now my dad says that he is trying not to get me into that level but he is helping me to get there and i just cant live without my mom....my dad used to be and maybe still an abusing dad and he is telling me lies but guys keep me in your prayers
Name: Arsh Tushar Mogre
Country: India
 my parents never fight but yesterday they were fighting so much god do something your small children need only your help.arsh
Name: suchitradevi
Country: India
 helpful article...thnx.
Name: Mau
Country: Nigeria
 i am a 40 year old single parent and my brother and i grew up seing our parents curse and fight each other,with our father running off most times with his numerous mistresses,it did affect us and we have never kept any meaninful relationship until i gave my life to god,but the bad aspect is that my mum never acknowledges the harm they did to us,its really painful
Name: Mary
Country: Pakistan
 i got saperated from my husband when my son was one and was too young to understand whats happening around him. his dad left us and never asked about his son again as he was very careless and lame person. now my kid has no idea about this relation,'dad'... i think its better to divorce instead of fighting whole life in front of your kids.. divorce is a one time bad incidence but fighting on daily or weekly basis works like a slow poisen to our childern
Name: sneha
Country: India
 very nice information. thanks, thanks a lot.
Name: Kunal
Country: India
 i am from a middle class family. my parents have been fighting ever since i remember. dad is very dominating and has always subdued my mother at every opportunity. when i was kid, my dad used to beat my mom sometimes. now even after 30 yrs of marriage, he has not changed much. he still doesn't let my mom talk and would shout at her even for slightest reason. mom has been loosing her confidence and now she barely interacts with with any one much. i am 27 now and in a good job. since, there is no one to take care of my parents, they want me to get married and stay with them. i am not able to make up my mind for marriage and am actually worried if the family would ever be happy. i am already tired trying to motivate my mom and manage my dad. i am scared if my marriage would end up with the similar fate. to make things worse, my sister's marriage is also on tenter hooks. huh.. what a sad family of four. don't know what to do. hope god helps me !
Name: Junaid
Country: India
 i truly agree that parents should control their anger and never fight in front of the childre. it can be hazardous to the child's development.
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