Respect, as a concept, refers to the ability of an individual to value and honour another person, complete - along with their words and actions, even if you personally do not approve of or share their opinions about their actions. It is also accepting the other person as they are.
Respect is essential to every individual. It is an important element of both - an individual’s personal identity and the interpersonal relationships they cultivate with the people around them. To feel respected can be considered a fundamental human franchise. Disrespect induces intensely negative emotions and reactions, and it is generally a good idea to avoid disrespecting others, not only to avoid their reaction or to avoid offending them but also because it reflects poorly on your own character. Needless to say, while everyone deserves respect, not everyone is privy to it.
In order to gain respect, and make ourselves individuals worthy of respect, a good place to start would be to study the virtues of respectable individuals. We can then try and emulate these virtues within our personality and demeanour in order to command respect from those around us. The best way to do this is to observe the people around you who are well-respected and then break down what makes them worthy of the respect of the people who interact with them.
To get you started, here are 10 virtues of people who are highly respected:
COURAGE
Courage, or bravery, is a virtue that commands respect for the people that embody them. Some might believe courage is the absence of fear, that people who are dauntless are courageous. But that is untrue, everyone has fears, there is no one person on earth who is not afraid of at least one thing. Courage, instead, is one’s ability to continue to move forward in the face of that fear, to push themselves forward despite their fear convincing them of every reason not to. The reason many people respect those who show courage is that courage takes a lot of mental strength. To show our courage we often have to resolve inner conflict and pacify the turmoil within us first. Fear is quite literally wired into our brain, in terms of evolution fear is a very rudimentary reaction to a probable and perceived threat, it is what keeps us alive, sustains our species. To be able to fight that reaction, to be able to think beyond it, to go against our very nature is a mark of evolution. This truly does deserve respect. Even if you are not courageous by default, every time you face something you fear - keep going anyway. Courage will become your second nature.
COMPASSION
The meaning of compassion is to recognize the suffering of others which moves you to take steps to alleviate them from this suffering. Compassion becomes a tangible expression of humanity and unity of it. From a philosophical perspective, compassion is a necessity for humankind to move forward. At the end of the day, we are all trying to footing in this world, and compassion to our fellow inhabitants of existence won’t hurt, will only help. But even from a socio-cultural perspective, compassion serves to improve people’s life quality all around. When someone is in pain, it should be our natural instinct to help them. The pain doesn’t have to be physical, but anything that troubles them. We would all like to be helped in tough times, and so it makes sense that every time we would have wanted someone to help us, we should help someone else too. Hence, compassion incites respect.
RESPECT
Respect begets respect - when you extend respect to others, you will get respect from them in return. While everyone deserves a certain degree of respect, regardless of who they are and what they think, simply by virtue of being a human. But we don’t live in such an ideal world, and disrespect is more commonplace than respect is. When you do treat people with respect, people appreciate that and respect you for it.
People often mistake respect as something that is elaborate and requires a lot of thinking and energy, but the truth is that giving respect is really simple. In fact, respect is more about not invading someone else’s rights and not offending them than it is to actively do something. It takes more effort to go out of your way and disrespect someone than it is to simply respect their existence.
There are two types of respect, one that is given and one that is earned. Try your best to give the given-kind to everyone, the basic kind of respect that everyone deserves. You will have already earned the kind that is earned, the one people reserve for the ones they look up to.
Respect improves not only your behaviour and the way you carry yourself but also improves your relationships in both personal and professional life.
LOYALTY
Loyalty is defined as the quality of being faithful to someone or something, committing to it. Loyalty is a respectable trait because it makes you dependable. Loyalty ensures that people can trust you. Think about it, if you have a very important task that needs to be carried out but for some reason, you cannot be the one to execute, who would you choose as a stand-in? Someone who has proved themselves to be loyal, someone who would not compromise you for their or someone else’s benefit or would you choose someone who has proved themselves to be fickle-minded in the past? Similarly, who are you likely to extend friendship or commit to a relationship to? Someone who is loyal, and would be faithful to the bond you share with them right?
Try to incorporate loyalty into your personality. Loyalty is not only the loyalty of intentions but also loyalty displayed in actions. When you are loyal to someone you stand by their side through anything and everything, no matter what. Never give up on them, encourage them, pick them up when they feel like they can’t pick themselves up. And when you do this, they realise you are a reliable person, someone who is a stable presence in their life. It makes them respect you.
HONESTY
As a child we are taught honesty is the best policy. And it is that one fact that holds true for the rest of our life too. Try to adopt honesty in every aspect of life. Honesty is not just speaking true words, it is also the practice to not (intentionally) withhold information. It is not being honest to just others, but also being honest to yourself. Being honest to yourself can possibly be more challenging than being honest to others. But it is worth it, being honest makes you more self-aware, being honest to yourself is challenging the things you deceive yourself into thinking because sometimes the truth can be a hard pill to swallow. Being honest with yourself also helps you be more honest with others. Demonstrate honesty not only in your words but also in your actions. Don’t ever resort to dishonest means, or immoral ways to achieve something you want. It would ruin the taste of your achievement, and the guilt will also eat you up. An honest achievement would make you feel proud, confident and secure. Lies never help anyone. When you are honest to yourself and others, people around you find you trustworthy, and hence respect you. And when you adopt honesty in every way you can, you might also unknowingly inspire someone to lead a life with the same honesty as you.
PRUDENCE
Prudence is the ability of an individual to carefully assess situations and react accordingly. A prudent individual is one who can take stock of the situation or an even and rationally figure out what needs to be done, someone who uses previously instilled knowledge and insight to attain foresight, to be able to judge between virtuous and vicious actions, in a general sense, but also considering which action would be correct given the context they are taken in. Prudence is also a virtue that commands respect, as it is often found in leaders. Prudence is also called the mother of all virtues, as it helps you find the right balance between all the extremities of other virtues. In simple conversational words, ‘sensibility’ is the closest attribute to the virtue of prudence. And people will always respect someone who is sensible and not rash, someone who is level-headed. People will feel secure in your presence and respect you. Prudent people also tend to be the people who take action first in an emergency situation, which also makes people feel respect for them at taking charge.
HUMILITY
Humility is a deeply respected trait one can possess. Humble people are respected all around the world. People often work very hard to achieve their dreams and goals, and in that journey of hard work, they begin to feel that arrogance (based on their achievements) is warranted. It is one thing to be proud of something that you have worked hard on, and another to believe you are entitled to some kind of service from others.
Humility is also an excellent quality if present in leaders, taking responsibility when things go wrong and giving due credit when things go well, they lead by example. This makes their subordinates respect. Especially when compared to leaders who sometimes throw their subordinates under the bus when things go wrong to secure their position, and steal credit from their subordinates because they know their sub-ordinated won’t go against them. The leader who is humble will never ask of their subordinates, anything they wouldn’t do themselves. Humility is leading from a viewpoint of service.
Humility is also a positive influence in your personal life. People don’t often like to befriend people who look down on others or constantly brag about themselves to feel better. On the other hand, people who are humble despite earning a good place in life and having achievements under their belt, come across as approachable and friendly, making people around them like and eventually respect them.
AUTHENTICITY
Authenticity is often hard to accomplish, as many times it requires a great deal of vulnerability. But it is precisely the same reason why people value authenticity in individuals so much - because it is rare to come by. Authenticity is being true to yourself in every word you speak and every action you speak. We all tend to say or do things we don’t necessarily agree with or believe in to handle the situation, we all wear masks, put up ‘personas’ to suit our environment and the situation we are in, to avoid standing out and drawing attention to ourselves in a negative way. Putting that mask aside and standing up for what you stand for takes courage and makes you vulnerable to others, which is why it is very respectable.
GENEROSITY
Generosity then, in a general sense, is one’s ability to give away. It is an unselfish act of giving away things that may be dear to us with no expectations of anything in return. Generosity is an important trait to try and emulate within ourselves because it encourages growth within an individual, and simultaneously helps us foster a feeling of harmony in the community we are a part of. Generosity is also a respectable virtue because it encourages every individual to give, and it creates a pool of goodwill that ultimately helps everyone. Generosity also ensures that our behaviour culminates to the benefit of everyone.
EMPATHY
Empathy is one’s ability to put aside your own assumptions, and step into someone else’s shoes to try and understand their perspective, the emotions they must be going through to adjust our behaviour towards them accordingly. Doing this, helps us establish a connection with them. And humans are social beings, we thrive on connections and communication. Imagine you are having a bad day, and you have a splitting headache. You would go get yourself a cup of tea or coffee, but even that feels like a task given how exhausted you are. But your colleague, at that moment, comes up to your desk with a hot cup of coffee with a smile, maybe lets you rant about your day and leaves with a few words of encouragement. This small interaction would do wonders to improve your mood. At that moment, your coworker used empathy to makes you feel better. They put themself in your shoes and proceeded to do what they would have appreciated if they had been in your place. Surely you must have a newfound respect for them? Similarly, when you assimilate empathy into your everyday life, people will respect you and think of you in a positive light.
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- The Indiaparenting Team