“Extendingrespecttoothersisabiggerreflectionofthequalityofyourpersonalitymorethananythingelse.”Respectisgivingdueregardfortherights,feelings,orwishesofothers.Respectisoneofthefundamentalbuildingblocksofhumaninteraction.Everyonedeservesrespect,butunfortunately,thesocietywelivein,noteveryonereceivesit.Buttheidealshouldstillbetobuildasocietywhereeveryonecollectivelyextendstheirduerespecttoothers.Howdoweachievethat?Herearesomewaystoshowrespect,andifeveryonefollowedthesewaysofshowingrespecttothosearoundthem,wewouldbebetteroffasasociety:1.ActsofServiceAnimportantaspectofshowingrespectisprovidingyourservicetoothers.Whenyouarewillingtocarryouttasksforothers,itshowsthatothersarevaluable.Thequiddityofmanistoserveothers.Everythingwedo–talk,walk,sports,religiousactivities–areexpressionsofservingothers.AsoncesaidbyEnglish-AmericanpoetW.H.Auden,“Weallarehereonearthtobeofservicetoothers;whatoneartheveryoneelse[whoisofnousetothosearoundthem]hereforIdon’tknow.”Wecangoasfarastosaylifeonearthisaboutservingothersbecauseifwethinkaboutit,humansaresocialbeings,wedon’tdotoowellinisolation,andlivinginsocietyinevitablymeansofbeingservicetothesocietyasthesocietygivesushumaninteractioninreturn.Atalittlebitofintrospection,wewillquicklyrealiseourprofessions,ourjobs,andourcareersandevenourrelationshipsrevolvearoundadesiretoserveothersandtogivebacktoothers.Wetendtousethetalentsandabilitieswehaveworkedtohonetotryandmakelifebetterforothersaroundus,andpeoplethatareimportanttous.Hence,inthesewaysservingothersshowsthemthatwecare.Andcaring,inturn,isamessagethatwerespectthem.Servingisanimportantelementinshowingrespect.2.ShowingkindnessSimilartoservice,anotherwaytoshowsomeoneyourespectthemistoshowthemkindness.Servingdoesnotcomewithoutkindness,infactservingsomeoneisanactofkindnessinitself.Andkindpeoplefindithardtonotserveothers.Whenpeopledeemapersonofvalue,theyinstinctuallyshowkindnesstothem. Eventhoughkindnessandservicearecloselyrelated,theyarenotthesame.Wecan,insome(exceptional)cases,servewithoutbeingkind.But,likestatedbefore,it’sverydifficulttobekindwithoutserving.Anactofkindnessthatweextendtosomeone,isalsousgivingthemapartofourselves.We’rehopefullygivingsomethingtheycanuseandpossiblysomethingtheyneed.Kindnessissimplyanexpressionofrespect.Respectisacknowledgingthefactthatsomeoneelseisinneed.Wehaveallbeenthere,wehaveallhadapointinourliveswhereweneededsomekindofhelp,beitbigorsmall.AndI’msurewehavefeltreliefwhensomeoneshoweduskindness.Kindnessisthattangiblewayofshowingrespect.Thiskindnessalsoincludeskindnesstosomeonewhentheymakemistakes.Don’tmistakethiswithforgiveness,kindnesstoshowsomeonewhentheymakemistakesincludesbeingpatientinhearingouttheirexplanationofwheretheywentwrong,andteachingorguidingtheminfixingitascomparedtoridiculingthem.Andthiskindnessapproachofdealingwithmistakesisdefinitelyismoreefficientthanpunishingsomeone.Thinkbacktoatimeyoumessedupinthepast.Wouldyouhavewantedtobecalledoutandridiculedbysomeone,orwouldyouhaveappreciatedifsomeonepulledyouaside,simplytoldyouaboutthemistake,andthenhelpedyoufigureouthowtoimprovenexttime?We’reallhumanandahugepartofthatisbeingfallible,we’reallgoingtoneedahelpinghandeverynowandthen.Helpingpeopleweinteractwithgrowfromtheirmistakeswithouthurtingdignityisjustthedecentthingtodo,anditiseasytoo,reallydoesn’ttakemucheffort.So,showkindnesstoothers.Itshowsthattheyaresignificanttoyou.3.AssertyourpositiveopinionsofthemHowmanytimeshaveyoutriedtoexpressyourpositiveopiniontosomeone,possiblyatruecompliment,andhavethemdenyitinlieuofmodesty?Sometimesacceptingcomplimentscanfeelawkward,andevenbeuncomfortable.Sokeepthatinmind,butalsomakethemunderstandthattheydon’thavetoacceptoragreetowhatyouthink(whodoesnothaveself-imagedoubts?),butassertthatwhatyouthinkofthemisthereasonwhyyourespectthem.Whileflatteryandsuperficialcomplimentsareempty,arespectfulassertionisfull.Itisasimplewaytoshowapersonthatyourespectthem.Anditisreallyeasyandsimple,takesnexttonoeffort-assimpleassayingsomethingpositiveabouttheperson,ormaybepointoutatraityouappreciate.Andeventhoughitmightstartwithasimplepointingoutofsomethinggoodaboutaperson,butitshouldn’tendthere.Theobservationneedstobeexpressedandcommunicatedtothem.4.Listen,notjusthear,withgenuineinterestandempathy.Payundividedattentiontootherswhentheyaretalkingtoyou.Itmaybetemptingtocheckyourphoneorspaceout,gettingcarriedawayinyourthoughtsandgoofftoanentirelydifferenttangentinyourhead,butrefrainfromdoingso.Andasmuchaswelikeourvoicetobeheard,weshouldallowothers’voicestobeheardtoo,anditisrespectfultonotinterruptpeoplewhentheyareexpressingthemselves.Anothertricktoberespectfulwhensomeoneelseisspeakingistoextendthemthecourtesyoflisteningtoandassessingandthinkingoveraboutwhatthey’vesaidbeforereplying,jumpingtoconclusionsandformingyourownopinions,orcompletelydismissingtheirs.Youneverknow,whatsomeonesayscouldsurpriseyou!Listeningisdifferentfromhearing.Hearingisthebiologicalpassiveprocesswhereaslisteningistheactivepsychologicalprocess.Listeningtowhatsomeonehastosayisaveryrudimentarywaytorespectthem.Everyindividualfeelsvalidatedwhentheyarebeinglistenedto.Whetherwehavesomethingimportant,neworevenprofoundtosayisnotthecrux.Wewanttobeheardandthat’sjustsimplyit.Whenwegiveanotherpersonourtimeandfocusandwegenuinelylisten,wearemakingthemfeelheard,andthatisamarkofrespect. Everyconstitutionintheworldbeganwhenpeopleinauthoritybeganlisteningtotheconcernsofthemassesandtheminorities.Noneoftheorderwehaveinsocietycouldhavebeenestablishedwithoutdialogue,andanactivedialoguebeginswithlistening.Andunlesswelistentoother’sconcerns,wewillneverknowwhatistheiridentityandwhat’simportanttothem.Respectstartswithlistening5.Sharingiscaring,butalsorespectingAnotherwaytoexpressyourrespecttosomeoneistoshare.Sharingyourresourcesisasignofrespectbecauseitmeansyouthinkofthemtobeworthyenoughtodetractfromsomethingthatisyoursandgiveittothem.Itdoesn’thavetobemonetaryorevensomethingtangible!Wecanshareourtime,knowledge,space,efforts,energyandotherthings.6.BeingpoliteisthesimplestwayofshowingrespectEasyandcheap,itisthesimplestwaytoshowrespect.Itrequiresnothingmorethanafewtweaksinyourusualbehaviour.“Please”,“sorry”,and“thankyou”arethethreemagicwordswearetaughtinkindergarten.Ourwordsandactionsdisplayourpoliteness,andsubsequentlyourrespectforothers.Wenevercantell,butourpoliteactscouldendupmakingsomebody’sday.Acknowledgingothersandsayingthankyou.Ifyoudidhalftheworkonaproject,butyourpartnertookallthecredit,howwouldyoufeel?Mostprobablyprettyupset,anddefinitelynothappy.Similarly,ifsomeonemadeagiftforyou,andyouneversaidthankyou,theymightfeelconfusedoryoudidn’tliketheirgift.Lettingothersknowthattheireffortsmatter,acknowledgingtheiractionsandthankingthemforthetime,work,effortandthoughtfulnesstheyputintoit,doesn’ttakeyoumorethanafewseconds,butitmakesaworldofadifferencetothem.Weareallwitnesstothedeclineofpoliteness,orevenbasicdecency,inthemodernworld.Regardlessofwhetherit’sonthehighwaywhiledriving,atthegrocerystorecashierline,intheparkinglotwhichparkingorunparkingyourcar,ontheathleticfieldbetweenplayersinthemiddleofagame,oronFacebook,orinpoliticaldebates–politediscourseandrespectfulinteractionisrarelyfoundanymore.Whatisbefuddlingisthatit’ssoeasytobepolite.Soinexpensivetoo.Beingrudeandmeantakesmoreeffort.Anactofpolitenesscouldbeaturninsomeone’slifethatmaychangetheirtrajectory.Itcanuplifttheirmood,orhelpthempushthroughachallengingtime.Manyculturesintheworldareidentifiablebytheirpoliteness.Someothersareknownfortheirrudeness.Ifwewanttoshowrespecttosomeoneorhaveamorerespectfulpersonality,wecanstartbybeingpolite.7.GratitudeexpressesrespectGratitude,orbeingthankfultothosewhohavebeenimportantinfluencesinourlifeormayhavehelpedupisanactofrespecttotheircontributiontoourlives.Itdoesn’tmatterwhethertheactofgratitudeisbigorsmall.Whatmattersisthattheactionisexecutedandthatwearesuccessfulincommunicatingourthankfulness.Emulategratitudeinyourpersonalityandbehaviour.Otherwaystoshowrespectforothersinclude:Meanyourwords-alwaysbehonesttoothersanddropfalsepretencesKeepyourword-keepyourpromises,committoyourwords.ItshowsrespecttothetrusttheCausenoharm-aslongaswedon’tinterferewithothers,itisnotthathardtonotharmothersBegenuine-beinggenuineiseasy,requireslessthought,andyoudon’thavetoengineeranidentityforyourself.Beingfaceisinsultingothers’intelligenceandabilitytofigureoutrealfromfakeHelpothers-youdon’thelppeopleyoudon’trespect,helpingoutislettingthemknowyourespectthemBefairtoall-respectmeansequaltreatmenttoall,becauseeveryonedeservesrespectMaintainintegrity-showthemtheyareworthyofyourmoralprinciplesGivemorethanyouget-again,doesn’thavetobemonetary,butyourattitudeisenoughtoimplicaterespectBehumble-humilityisonlyextendedtothoseyourespectDon’tgossip-itisthesocialequivalentofbackstabbing,itisutterdisrespect,don’tdoit.Thankfulnessisthewaytoaffirmyourattentiontowardssomeone.Someonedoingsomethingthatisbeneficialforyouorthemsayingsomethingyoufinduseful,orthemhonestlyaffirmingyouinsomeaspectthatisimportanttoyou,isdeservingofyourgratitude.It’snotsomuchtheirneedtobethanked,itiswhatismorallyrightofustodo.It’saboutrecognisingthatwhattheyhavedonehasmadeadifference.Whentheyseethereisnothankfulnessforsomethingtheyhavedone,itcanbediscouraging.Gratitudeisnotalwaysrequiredofrespect,butmoreoftenthannotitdoes.8.Beingthoughtfulofothers’feelingsRespectingothersinvolvesrespectingallaspectsofthem.Amajoraspectdrivinghumancommunicationforwardishumanemotions.Whatwefeelisagreatdeterminantofhowwethink,howweperceiveandhowwebehave.Thismean,wehavetotakeintoaccountthefeelingsofothersinordertonotoffendorhurtthemandlearnhowtorespectthem.Hence,beingconsiderateofothersisaverygoodwaytoshowthemthatwerespectthemandtheirfeeling,anditisimportanttousthatwedon’thurtthem.9.RespectingphysicalboundariesDifferentpeoplearecomfortablewithdifferentlevelsofphysicalcontactfromothers,dependingonhowemotionally/sociallyclosetheyare.Everyonereservestherighttotheirbody,andeveryonehastherighttodecidetheextenttowhichtheyarecomfortablewithphysicaltouchandfromwho.Forexample,lovehugsfromstrangersandfriendsalike,whereassometendtoaccepthugsonlyfromlong-timefriends.Somepeopleareokaywithbeinghuggedasaformofgreeting,someotherswouldbeokaywithahandshake,whileothersmightpreferwavingoranod.Itisimportanttobeconsiderateoftheseboundariestoconveythatyourespectthemandtheircomfortlevels.10.AffirmationsGivingaffirmationstosomeoneisgivingthemevidencethattheymatter,thatyourespecttheirexistence,andthattheyhavevalueasapersontoyou.They’reimportanttoyouandhenceworthyofyourrespect.Givingsomeoneaffirmationisaseasyasnoticingsomethingpositiveaboutthemandtheexpressthisobservation.Forexample:“Ithasbeenaroughfewmonths,butyouhavebeenveryresilient”“Yourhappinessiscontagious!Ileaveeveryconversationwithyouwithasmile”“Youarerespectfultothosethatarejuniortoyou”
“Extending respect to others is a bigger reflection of the quality of your personality more than anything else.”
Respect is giving due regard for the rights, feelings, or wishes of others. Respect is one of the fundamental building blocks of human interaction. Everyone deserves respect, but unfortunately, the society we live in, not everyone receives it. But the ideal should still be to build a society where everyone collectively extends their due respect to others.
How do we achieve that? Here are some ways to show respect, and if everyone followed these ways of showing respect to those around them, we would be better off as a society:
1. Acts of Service
An important aspect of showing respect is providing your service to others. When you are willing to carry out tasks for others, it shows that others are valuable. The quiddity of man is to serve others. Everything we do – talk, walk, sports, religious activities – are expressions of serving others.
As once said by English-American poet W.H. Auden, “We all are here on earth to be of service to others; what on earth everyone else [who is of no use to those around them] here for I don’t know.”
We can go as far as to say life on earth is about serving others because if we think about it, humans are social beings, we don’t do too well in isolation, and living in society inevitably means of being service to the society as the society gives us human interaction in return. At a little bit of introspection, we will quickly realise our professions, our jobs, and our careers and even our relationships revolve around a desire to serve others and to give back to others. We tend to use the talents and abilities we have worked to hone to try and make life better for others around us, and people that are important to us.
Hence, in these ways serving others shows them that we care. And caring, in turn, is a message that we respect them. Serving is an important element in showing respect.
2. Showing kindness
Similar to service, another way to show someone you respect them is to show them kindness. Serving does not come without kindness, in fact serving someone is an act of kindness in itself. And kind people find it hard to not serve others. When people deem a person of value, they instinctually show kindness to them.
Even though kindness and service are closely related, they are not the same. We can, in some (exceptional) cases, serve without being kind. But, like stated before, it’s very difficult to be kind without serving.
An act of kindness that we extend to someone, is also us giving them a part of ourselves. We’re hopefully giving something they can use and possibly something they need.
Kindness is simply an expression of respect. Respect is acknowledging the fact that someone else is in need. We have all been there, we have all had a point in our lives where we needed some kind of help, be it big or small. And I’m sure we have felt relief when someone showed us kindness. Kindness is that tangible way of showing respect.
This kindness also includes kindness to someone when they make mistakes. Don’t mistake this with forgiveness, kindness to show someone when they make mistakes includes being patient in hearing out their explanation of where they went wrong, and teaching or guiding them in fixing it as compared to ridiculing them. And this kindness approach of dealing with mistakes is definitely is more efficient than punishing someone.
Think back to a time you messed up in the past. Would you have wanted to be called out and ridiculed by someone, or would you have appreciated if someone pulled you aside, simply told you about the mistake, and then helped you figure out how to improve next time? We’re all human and a huge part of that is being fallible, we’re all going to need a helping hand every now and then. Helping people we interact with grow from their mistakes without hurting dignity is just the decent thing to do, and it is easy too, really doesn’t take much effort.
So, show kindness to others. It shows that they are significant to you.
3. Assert your positive opinions of them
How many times have you tried to express your positive opinion to someone, possibly a true compliment, and have them deny it in lieu of modesty? Sometimes accepting compliments can feel awkward, and even be uncomfortable. So keep that in mind, but also make them understand that they don’t have to accept or agree to what you think (who does not have self-image doubts?), but assert that what you think of them is the reason why you respect them.
While flattery and superficial compliments are empty, a respectful assertion is full. It is a simple way to show a person that you respect them. And it is really easy and simple, takes next to no effort - as simple as saying something positive about the person, or maybe point out a trait you appreciate. And even though it might start with a simple pointing out of something good about a person, but it shouldn’t end there. The observation needs to be expressed and communicated to them.
4. Listen, not just hear, with genuine interest and empathy.
Pay undivided attention to others when they are talking to you. It may be tempting to check your phone or space out, getting carried away in your thoughts and go off to an entirely different tangent in your head, but refrain from doing so. And as much as we like our voice to be heard, we should allow others’ voices to be heard too, and it is respectful to not interrupt people when they are expressing themselves.
Another trick to be respectful when someone else is speaking is to extend them the courtesy of listening to and assessing and thinking over about what they’ve said before replying, jumping to conclusions and forming your own opinions, or completely dismissing theirs. You never know, what someone says could surprise you!
Listening is different from hearing. Hearing is the biological passive process whereas listening is the active psychological process. Listening to what someone has to say is a very rudimentary way to respect them. Every individual feels validated when they are being listened to. Whether we have something important, new or even profound to say is not the crux. We want to be heard and that’s just simply it.
When we give another person our time and focus and we genuinely listen, we are making them feel heard, and that is a mark of respect.
Every constitution in the world began when people in authority began listening to the concerns of the masses and the minorities. None of the order we have in society could have been established without dialogue, and an active dialogue begins with listening.
And unless we listen to other’s concerns, we will never know what is their identity and what’s important to them. Respect starts with listening
5. Sharing is caring, but also respecting
Another way to express your respect to someone is to share. Sharing your resources is a sign of respect because it means you think of them to be worthy enough to detract from something that is yours and give it to them. It doesn’t have to be monetary or even something tangible! We can share our time, knowledge, space, efforts, energy and other things.
6. Being polite is the simplest way of showing respect
Easy and cheap, it is the simplest way to show respect. It requires nothing more than a few tweaks in your usual behaviour. “Please”, “sorry”, and “thank you” are the three magic words we are taught in kindergarten. Our words and actions display our politeness, and subsequently our respect for others. We never can tell, but our polite acts could end up making somebody’s day.
Acknowledging others and saying thank you. If you did half the work on a project, but your partner took all the credit, how would you feel? Most probably pretty upset, and definitely not happy. Similarly, if someone made a gift for you, and you never said thank you, they might feel confused or you didn’t like their gift. Letting others know that their efforts matter, acknowledging their actions and thanking them for the time, work, effort and thoughtfulness they put into it, doesn’t take you more than a few seconds, but it makes a world of a difference to them.
We are all witness to the decline of politeness, or even basic decency, in the modern world. Regardless of whether it’s on the highway while driving, at the grocery store cashier line, in the parking lot which parking or unparking your car, on the athletic field between players in the middle of a game, or on Facebook, or in political debates – polite discourse and respectful interaction is rarely found anymore.
What is befuddling is that it’s so easy to be polite. So inexpensive too. Being rude and mean takes more effort. An act of politeness could be a turn in someone’s life that may change their trajectory. It can uplift their mood, or help them push through a challenging time. Many cultures in the world are identifiable by their politeness. Some others are known for their rudeness.
If we want to show respect to someone or have a more respectful personality, we can start by being polite.
7. Gratitude expresses respect
Gratitude, or being thankful to those who have been important influences in our life or may have helped up is an act of respect to their contribution to our lives. It doesn’t matter whether the act of gratitude is big or small. What matters is that the action is executed and that we are successful in communicating our thankfulness. Emulate gratitude in your personality and behaviour.
Other ways to show respect for others include:
- Mean your words - always be honest to others and drop false pretences
- Keep your word - keep your promises, commit to your words. It shows respect to the trust the
- Cause no harm - as long as we don’t interfere with others, it is not that hard to not harm others
- Be genuine - being genuine is easy, requires less thought, and you don’t have to engineer an identity for yourself. Being face is insulting others’ intelligence and ability to figure out real from fake
- Help others - you don’t help people you don’t respect, helping out is letting them know you respect them
- Be fair to all - respect means equal treatment to all, because everyone deserves respect
- Maintain integrity - show them they are worthy of your moral principles
- Give more than you get - again, doesn’t have to be monetary, but your attitude is enough to implicate respect
- Be humble - humility is only extended to those you respect
- Don’t gossip - it is the social equivalent of backstabbing, it is utter disrespect, don’t do it.
Thankfulness is the way to affirm your attention towards someone.
Someone doing something that is beneficial for you or them saying something you find useful, or them honestly affirming you in some aspect that is important to you, is deserving of your gratitude.
It’s not so much their need to be thanked, it is what is morally right of us to do. It’s about recognising that what they have done has made a difference. When they see there is no thankfulness for something they have done, it can be discouraging.
Gratitude is not always required of respect, but more often than not it does.
8. Being thoughtful of others’ feelings
Respecting others involves respecting all aspects of them. A major aspect driving human communication forward is human emotions. What we feel is a great determinant of how we think, how we perceive and how we behave. This mean, we have to take into account the feelings of others in order to not offend or hurt them and learn how to respect them. Hence, being considerate of others is a very good way to show them that we respect them and their feeling, and it is important to us that we don’t hurt them.
9. Respecting physical boundaries
Different people are comfortable with different levels of physical contact from others, depending on how emotionally/socially close they are. Everyone reserves the right to their body, and everyone has the right to decide the extent to which they are comfortable with physical touch and from who. For example, love hugs from strangers and friends alike, whereas some tend to accept hugs only from long-time friends. Some people are okay with being hugged as a form of greeting, some others would be okay with a handshake, while others might prefer waving or a nod. It is important to be considerate of these boundaries to convey that you respect them and their comfort levels.
10. Affirmations
Giving affirmations to someone is giving them evidence that they matter, that you respect their existence, and that they have value as a person to you. They’re important to you and hence worthy of your respect.
Giving someone affirmation is as easy as noticing something positive about them and the express this observation.
For example:
“It has been a rough few months, but you have been very resilient”
“Your happiness is contagious! I leave every conversation with you with a smile”
“You are respectful to those that are junior to you”
