Everyonevaluesrespectdirectedtowardsthem.Theexperienceofbeingregardedworthyenoughtopayusrespectbysomeonetrulyencouragesustorespectothersaswell.Wewantrespect,whetheritbeinourpersonallivesoreveninourprofessionallivesaswell,itissomethingimportanttous.Wewishtobeacknowledgedfortheworkwehaveputinandtogetfittingrecognitionforourinputs.Ourcolleagues’respectbecomesessentialtous,asitmeanstheyaremorelikelytotakeusseriouslyandwon’tbrushouropinionsandinsightsoff.Theyviewusasaprofessional,assomeonewhoadherestoprofessionalstandardsandgetsthingsdonetherightwayanddoesnotcompromiseonethics.Thisisaperspectiveweallwantourco-workerstohaveofus.Eveninpersonallife,wewantpeoplewelike,tolikeusback.Whilesometimeswegetrespectfromourfamilyinsomerelationshipsbydefault,wealsowanttoearntherespectofourfriendsandacquaintances.Ifyouhaveclickedonthisarticle,itisprobablybecauseyouwanttoberespected,butaren’tentirelysurehowthewholethingworks.The“hack”here,whichisn’treallyahackbutempathy,istostopthinkingaboutyourself,andtothinkingaboutothers.Thinkofwaysyoucanhelpothers.Tryandtakeupchancestoinspiregrowth,innovation,andchange?Hereisafunactivity-thinkaboutapersonyourespectdeeply.Whatdotheydothatsetsthemapartfromanaverageperson?Tryandincorporatewhateveryouobservefromthemthatsetsthemapart.Herearesomeofthebasicwaystogainrespectthatalotofpeoplehavefoundtobeuseful-1.Bezealousandunrelentinginworkingtowardsyourgoals.Insteadofwaitingfordirectionfromothersuseyourownintuition,skillsandresourcestogetthingsdoneandsolveissuesthatyoumayface.Formahabittofigurethingsoutonyourown.Anddon’tbebackdownfromchallenges,welcomethemonceinawhile.Whatistheworstthatcouldhappen?Youwouldfail,butyouwouldhavetheassurancethatyoutriedyourbest.Andwhenyouareproactive,peoplethinkyoutobeself-reliantandtrustworthy.Thismakesthemrespectyou.2.Keepthepromisesyoumake.Thisisoneofthemostimportantcaveatstogainingrespect,asitcanbreaktrustjustaseasilyasitcanhelpearntrustifitgoesright.Ifyourpreviousattitudetowardspromisesandcommitmentswastotakethemlightlytook,makeitapointtonotdothatanymore.Tryyourbesttohonourcommitmentsandpromises.Andifyoufindthatyoucan’tkeepupwiththepromisesyouaremaking,itmeansyoumaketoomanypromises.TrytobemorehonestwithyourselfandcommittothosethingsthatyouCANdo.3.Don’tapologizeexcessively.Apologieslosevaluewhentheyaregivenoutlikecandy.Whileitisgoodtoownuptomistakesandapologiseforthem,whenyouapologiseforthesmallestthingsveryeasily,peoplearelikelytothinkofyouasapersonthatmakesalotofmistakes,aswellassomeonethatdoesn’tvaluethemselfverymuch.Andevenifyoudowanttoapologisealotbecauseyoutrulyaresorryforthemistakesyouhavemade,don’tusetheword“sorry”athousandtimes.Trytoexplainandapologisetruly.Andforthesmallevents,trytochangethesorryfromyourapology.4.Beconsiderateofothers.Beobservantofyoursurroundings,andtakethetimetobekindtoothers.Itisnaturalthatwhenyoumakepeoplecaredfor,theywillrespectyou.5.Avoidwastingotherpeople’stime.Itissaidtimeismoney,anditmustberespectedassuch.Whenyourespectothers’time,theyareboundtorespectyours.Beingpunctualisessential.Alwaystrytonotbelateforappointments,don’tspendtimeinmeetingstalkingaboutthingsthatcanbeclearedinone-on-oneconversationsoremails,gettothepointyou’retryingtomakequicklywhenspeaking,bringupissuesyouwanttodiscussrightawayinsteadoftiptoeingaroundit,beconcise.Andmakingiteasierforotherstomakedecisionswhenyouareinvolvedintheprocess,especiallywhentheyarebusierthanyou.6.Neverindulgeingossip.Ifyoueverwonderwhetherornotyoushouldsaysomethingaboutsomeone,asyourself-wouldIbeokaywithsayingthisaboutthemiftheywerehere?Iftheanswerisno,thendon’t.Anditisnotlimitedtowhatyoudoordon’tsay,exitconversationsthatdiscussindividualsnotcurrentlypresent,especiallyiftheyareinanegativelight.Wehavetorespectothers—evenifwedon’tlikethem,respectisnotconditional.Weallhavetraitsthataredesirableandundesirable.Empathise,andkeepthisinmind.Whenyoutalkbehindpeople’sbacks,peoples’trustinyourapidlydepletesandyourreputationwillquicklybecomeirrelevant.Noonerespectsapersontheycan’ttrust.7.Beingtoonicecanhavetheoppositeeffect.Thereisadifferencebetweenkindnessandalwaysdoingthingsforpeople.Makingeveryonehappyisimpossible,sotryingisfutileandwon’tgetyouveryfar.Ifyousayyestoeverythinginordertosimplypleaseothers,youarebeingapushoverandthatisn’tverylikelytogetyourespected.Anothercounter-effectisthatpeoplewillstarttoquestionyourgenuinenesstoo,andyoumightendupcomingacrossasfake.8. Humilityisthebestpractice.Asmuchaswewouldliketobe,humansaren’tflawless,andcan’tbethebestateverything.Sometimesyouwillbewrong,andsometimesyouwillmakemistakesorevenfailatwhateveritisthatyouareattemptingtodo.Humilityisthebestthingtoadoptatsuchtimes.An“Iknoweverything”egorarelyhelps.Eachandeverypersonyoucomeacrosscanteachyousomethingworthwhile.Confidencedoesn’tstemfrom“beingthebest”.Trueconfidenceandknowledgecomesfromtheunderstandingofhumility,andtherealizationthateverypersonhassomethingdifferentanduniquetooffertotheworld.9.Haveamoralcode.Whatisamoralcode?Itissimplywhatyoubelievein,whatisthemostimportanttoyou.Whatmakesyouangryandfrustratedandmakesyouthink“Thisneedstogo,thishasnoplaceinourworld”andwanttomakeachange?Whateveryoufoundoutfromansweringthesemusthavegivenyouaskeletonofyourmoralcode.Fleshitoutandtryyourbesttoabidebyit.Everyvisionaryisbackedbyamoralcode.Andhavingaclearlydistinguishedmoralcodealsoensuresthatyoufacefewermoraldilemmas,asyouhaveageneralideaofwhichmisgivingbothersyoumorethantheother.10.Beincontrolofyouremotions.Wetendtoinstinctivelyreacttoeventsespeciallyifitissomethingmajor.Butknowingthatnoteverythingrequiresareactioniskeytopresentingyourselfasrespectful.Respondinsteadofreacting.11.Approachthingswithanopenmind.Wheneverwearefacedwithsomethingnew,ourfirstinstinctistotryandfititintoboxesthatalreadyexistinourheads.Andwhilethatmighthelpusmanytimestoputthingsintocontext,sometimesitmightlimitustowhateverwealreadyknow,leavingnoroomforgrowth.Henceitisimportanttoapproachthingswithanopenmindtobeabletounderstandfreshperspectives.Italsohelpsyouempathisebetter.Allthesevaluesmakepeoplelookatyouinarespectfullight,asitimpliesthatyourecognisethatyouhavemuchtolearn,thatdoesnotnecessarilyclashwithyourexistingstrongcorebeliefsystemandyouareopentochange.12.Investinyourself,makeyourselfvaluable.Peoplerespectthepeopletheyvalue.Doesn’tmatterifitisacommunityyou’reapartof,agroupoffriends,aworkteamorthecompanyyouworkfor,youwillberespectedifyouoffervaluetoothers.Valuecomesinmanyforms,butthebottomlineofitisyourabilitytooffersomethingthatwillhelpthembyassistingorsolvingaproblem.Buttobeabletodothatyouneedtoinvestinyourselftoo-readandbuildonyourknowledge-base,tryandlearnhowtheworldaroundyouworks,figureoutdifferentwaystoapproachproblems,workonempathyetc...13.Dotheduediligence.Alwaysbeprepared,doyourhomework.Doyouhaveapresentation?Workonitmeticulously,crosscheckforgrammaticalerrorsandmakesuretosetupyourequipmentwellinadvancetoavoidlastsecondtechnicalglitchesandthehassles.Goingforatriptoabeach?Makesuretocarryenoughwaterandsunscreen,achangeofclothes,battery-operatedfansetc...Knowyou’regoingtohaveabusydayahead?Carryyourflaskofcoffeeandafewgranolabarsincaseyouhavetoskiplunch.Haveanattitudetobepreparedalways,andtoplanahead.Notonlypeoplewouldrespectyoubecauseyouarepreparedanddon’thavetoaskforhelpfromothers,buttheyalsofeeltheycanrelyonyou.Andpeoplerespectpeoplewhoarereliable.14.Speakyourmind.Earlyoninlife,wearetaughttocensorandeditourthoughtsbecausesomemightbeallergictohonesty.Butmakeitapointtospeakyourmind,evenifyouhavetotwistafewwordshereandthere,expresstheintentthesamewayyouthoughtitinyourhead.Havingstrongopinionsandquirkyideasisnotwrong,andifyouaren’tcomfortableputtingitforwardallthetimeyoucanexpressthemonlyonceinawhile,butpeoplewillrespectyouforitnonetheless.15.Knowwhentostop.Asimportantasspeakingupis,knowingwhentostopandnotspeakisjustasimportant.Sometimeslisteningismoreimportant.Sometimesnotgivingyourinputismoretactful.Learntoreadthesituationandactaccordingly,suchdemeanourdefinitelycommandsrespect.16.Aspiretobebetter,inspireothersalongtoo.Whenyouworkhardanddiligentlyonyourgoals,youinspireothersaroundyoutoworkhardtowardstheirowntoo.Youcanalsopeoplebytalkingtothemaboutyourgoalsandhobbies,theymightfinditinterestingandlookintoitandfindouttheylikeittoo!Thepointistoletthemknowthatstickingtoyourgoalsisn’tthatoutoftheirreach,encouragethembyshowingthatyouhavefaithinthem.17.Understandthatsaying“no”isokay.Saying“no”ishard,thatisunderstandable.Itmightevencomeacrossasrudeandmightseemlikeitworksagainstusbeingrespected.Butalsounderstanditisimportanttosetboundariesandsaying“no”tothingsthatyoudon’twanttodoorthatmakeyouuncomfortableisanimportantpartofthat.Ifyoudon’tsetstrictboundaries,peoplethinkitisokaytowalkalloveryou,andthatwillmeantheywon’trespectyou.Youdon’thavetosay“yes”toeverything,especiallyifitisasuperiororaclientaskingyoutodosomething.Sometimes,saying“no”willgetyoumorerespectedthanagreeingtodoittopleasesomeone.Settingboundariesestablishthatyou’renotafraidofadmittingthatyourtimeisvaluableandthatyouwouldratherdosomethingthatisworthyofit.18.Steelyourselfinthefaceofself-deprecatingthoughts.Self-depreciatingthoughtsarenormaltoeveryone,weallhavemomentswhereoursenseofself-worthdropsandwetendtobeplaguedbynegativethoughtsaboutourabilities.Butwealsoneedtounderstandthatwhileyes,wedohaveourflaws,ourflawsarenottheonlythingwehaveandthatwearemuchmorethanourflaws.Remindyourselfthatyouhaveyourstrengthstoandyouareconstantlylearningfromyourmistakes.Trynottoletthesethoughtsgetyoudown,workforward.Respectyourselfdespitethese,trytofindconfidencedespitethesethoughts,learnthatlearningfromthesefailuresandimperfectionleadthepathtosuccess,andpeoplewillinevitablyrespectyouforit.19.Brainstormfirst,evaluatelater.Believeinyourideas,andotherswillfollow.Don’tletdoubtswaveryourfaithinyourideas.Brainstormideas,evaluatethemandpickone.Andthensticktoit,takeitcompletion.Evenifitdoesnotworkout,yourfaithinyourideascanconvinceothersinitsvalueandtheymightendupinvestingtheirinsightsintoit,whichmightjustturnitintoasuccess.Thefactofthematteristhatalotofpeoplehaveuniqueideas,butareafraidtosticktoitbecausetheythinkitisunconventionalandpeoplemightnotlikeit,sojusthavefaithandworktoexecuteit.20.Standupforyourself.Whensomeonedisrespectsyou,don’tletthemgetawaywithit.Speakingupmightbehard,andyoumaynotwanttocauseascene,butevenifrespectfully,doputyourpointforward.Itmakessurethatotherpeoplewillalsorespectyouandlearnthatyouwon’tsubmittobullying.21.Standupforothers.Weallavoidconfrontation,welikepeace.Butsometimesitisimportanttostandupforothers,evenmoresowheretheymightnotbeinasituationwheretheycanstandupforthemselves.Peoplewillrespectyouforstandingupforwhatisright.
Everyone values respect directed towards them. The experience of being regarded worthy enough to pay us respect by someone truly encourages us to respect others as well.
We want respect, whether it be in our personal lives or even in our professional lives as well, it is something important to us. We wish to be acknowledged for the work we have put in and to get fitting recognition for our inputs. Our colleagues’ respect becomes essential to us, as it means they are more likely to take us seriously and won’t brush our opinions and insights off. They view us as a professional, as someone who adheres to professional standards and gets things done the right way and does not compromise on ethics. This is a perspective we all want our co-workers to have of us.
Even in personal life, we want people we like, to like us back. While sometimes we get respect from our family in some relationships by default, we also want to earn the respect of our friends and acquaintances.
If you have clicked on this article, it is probably because you want to be respected, but aren’t entirely sure how the whole thing works. The “hack” here, which isn’t really a hack but empathy, is to stop thinking about yourself, and to thinking about others. Think of ways you can help others. Try and take up chances to inspire growth, innovation, and change? Here is a fun activity - think about a person you respect deeply. What do they do that sets them apart from an average person? Try and incorporate whatever you observe from them that sets them apart.
Here are some of the basic ways to gain respect that a lot of people have found to be useful -
1. Be zealous and unrelenting in working towards your goals.
Instead of waiting for direction from others use your own intuition, skills and resources to get things done and solve issues that you may face. Form a habit to figure things out on your own. And don’t be back down from challenges, welcome them once in a while. What is the worst that could happen? You would fail, but you would have the assurance that you tried your best. And when you are proactive, people think you to be self-reliant and trustworthy. This makes them respect you.
2. Keep the promises you make.
This is one of the most important caveats to gaining respect, as it can break trust just as easily as it can help earn trust if it goes right. If your previous attitude towards promises and commitments was to take them lightly took, make it a point to not do that anymore. Try your best to honour commitments and promises. And if you find that you can’t keep up with the promises you are making, it means you make too many promises. Try to be more honest with yourself and commit to those things that you CAN do.
3. Don’t apologize excessively.
Apologies lose value when they are given out like candy. While it is good to own up to mistakes and apologise for them, when you apologise for the smallest things very easily, people are likely to think of you as a person that makes a lot of mistakes, as well as someone that doesn’t value themself very much. And even if you do want to apologise a lot because you truly are sorry for the mistakes you have made, don’t use the word “sorry” a thousand times. Try to explain and apologise truly. And for the small events, try to change the sorry from your apology.
4. Be considerate of others.
Be observant of your surroundings, and take the time to be kind to others. It is natural that when you make people cared for, they will respect you.
5. Avoid wasting other people’s time.
It is said time is money, and it must be respected as such. When you respect others’ time, they are bound to respect yours. Being punctual is essential. Always try to not be late for appointments, don’t spend time in meetings talking about things that can be cleared in one-on-one conversations or emails, get to the point you’re trying to make quickly when speaking, bring up issues you want to discuss right away instead of tiptoeing around it, be concise. And making it easier for others to make decisions when you are involved in the process, especially when they are busier than you.
6. Never indulge in gossip.
If you ever wonder whether or not you should say something about someone, as yourself- would I be okay with saying this about them if they were here? If the answer is no, then don’t. And it is not limited to what you do or don’t say, exit conversations that discuss individuals not currently present, especially if they are in a negative light. We have to respect others—even if we don’t like them, respect is not conditional. We all have traits that are desirable and undesirable. Empathise, and keep this in mind. When you talk behind people’s backs, peoples’ trust in you rapidly depletes and your reputation will quickly become irrelevant. No one respects a person they can’t trust.
7. Being too nice can have the opposite effect.
There is a difference between kindness and always doing things for people. Making everyone happy is impossible, so trying is futile and won’t get you very far. If you say yes to everything in order to simply please others, you are being a pushover and that isn’t very likely to get you respected. Another counter-effect is that people will start to question your genuineness too, and you might end up coming across as fake.
8. Humility is the best practice.
As much as we would like to be, humans aren’t flawless, and can’t be the best at everything. Sometimes you will be wrong, and sometimes you will make mistakes or even fail at whatever it is that you are attempting to do. Humility is the best thing to adopt at such times. An “I know everything” ego rarely helps. Each and every person you come across can teach you something worthwhile. Confidence doesn’t stem from “being the best”. True confidence and knowledge comes from the understanding of humility, and the realization that every person has something different and unique to offer to the world.
9. Have a moral code.
What is a moral code? It is simply what you believe in, what is the most important to you. What makes you angry and frustrated and makes you think “This needs to go, this has no place in our world” and want to make a change? Whatever you found out from answering these must have given you a skeleton of your moral code. Flesh it out and try your best to abide by it. Every visionary is backed by a moral code. And having a clearly distinguished moral code also ensures that you face fewer moral dilemmas, as you have a general idea of which misgiving bothers you more than the other.
10. Be in control of your emotions.
We tend to instinctively react to events especially if it is something major. But knowing that not everything requires a reaction is key to presenting yourself as respectful. Respond instead of reacting.
11. Approach things with an open mind.
Whenever we are faced with something new, our first instinct is to try and fit it into boxes that already exist in our heads. And while that might help us many times to put things into context, sometimes it might limit us to whatever we already know, leaving no room for growth. Hence it is important to approach things with an open mind to be able to understand fresh perspectives. It also helps you empathise better. All these values make people look at you in a respectful light, as it implies that you recognise that you have much to learn, that does not necessarily clash with your existing strong core belief system and you are open to change.
12. Invest in yourself, make yourself valuable.
People respect the people they value.
Doesn’t matter if it is a community you’re a part of, a group of friends, a work team or the company you work for, you will be respected if you offer value to others. Value comes in many forms, but the bottom line of it is your ability to offer something that will help them by assisting or solving a problem. But to be able to do that you need to invest in yourself too - read and build on your knowledge-base, try and learn how the world around you works, figure out different ways to approach problems, work on empathy etc...
13. Do the due diligence.
Always be prepared, do your homework. Do you have a presentation? Work on it meticulously, crosscheck for grammatical errors and make sure to set up your equipment well in advance to avoid last second technical glitches and the hassles. Going for a trip to a beach? Make sure to carry enough water and sunscreen, a change of clothes, battery-operated fans etc...Know you’re going to have a busy day ahead? Carry your flask of coffee and a few granola bars in case you have to skip lunch. Have an attitude to be prepared always, and to plan ahead. Not only people would respect you because you are prepared and don’t have to ask for help from others, but they also feel they can rely on you. And people respect people who are reliable.
14. Speak your mind.
Early on in life, we are taught to censor and edit our thoughts because some might be allergic to honesty. But make it a point to speak your mind, even if you have to twist a few words here and there, express the intent the same way you thought it in your head.
Having strong opinions and quirky ideas is not wrong, and if you aren’t comfortable putting it forward all the time you can express them only once in a while, but people will respect you for it nonetheless.
15. Know when to stop.
As important as speaking up is, knowing when to stop and not speak is just as important. Sometimes listening is more important. Sometimes not giving your input is more tactful. Learn to read the situation and act accordingly, such demeanour definitely commands respect.
16. Aspire to be better, inspire others along too.
When you work hard and diligently on your goals, you inspire others around you to work hard towards their own too. You can also people by talking to them about your goals and hobbies, they might find it interesting and look into it and find out they like it too! The point is to let them know that sticking to your goals isn’t that out of their reach, encourage them by showing that you have faith in them.
17. Understand that saying “no” is okay.
Saying “no” is hard, that is understandable. It might even come across as rude and might seem like it works against us being respected. But also understand it is important to set boundaries and saying “no” to things that you don’t want to do or that make you uncomfortable is an important part of that. If you don’t set strict boundaries, people think it is okay to walk all over you, and that will mean they won’t respect you.
You don’t have to say “yes” to everything, especially if it is a superior or a client asking you to do something. Sometimes, saying “no” will get you more respected than agreeing to do it to please someone. Setting boundaries establish that you’re not afraid of admitting that your time is valuable and that you would rather do something that is worthy of it.
18. Steel yourself in the face of self-deprecating thoughts.
Self-depreciating thoughts are normal to everyone, we all have moments where our sense of self-worth drops and we tend to be plagued by negative thoughts about our abilities. But we also need to understand that while yes, we do have our flaws, our flaws are not the only thing we have and that we are much more than our flaws. Remind yourself that you have your strengths to and you are constantly learning from your mistakes. Try not to let these thoughts get you down, work forward. Respect yourself despite these, try to find confidence despite these thoughts, learn that learning from these failures and imperfection lead the path to success, and people will inevitably respect you for it.
19. Brainstorm first, evaluate later.
Believe in your ideas, and others will follow. Don’t let doubts waver your faith in your ideas. Brainstorm ideas, evaluate them and pick one. And then stick to it, take it completion. Even if it does not work out, your faith in your ideas can convince others in its value and they might end up investing their insights into it, which might just turn it into a success. The fact of the matter is that a lot of people have unique ideas, but are afraid to stick to it because they think it is unconventional and people might not like it, so just have faith and work to execute it.
20. Stand up for yourself.
When someone disrespects you, don’t let them get away with it. Speaking up might be hard, and you may not want to cause a scene, but even if respectfully, do put your point forward. It makes sure that other people will also respect you and learn that you won’t submit to bullying.
21. Stand up for others.
We all avoid confrontation, we like peace. But sometimes it is important to stand up for others, even more so where they might not be in a situation where they can stand up for themselves. People will respect you for standing up for what is right.
