Do you know the right approach to deal with sex related issues with your teen? Find out how you can break the ice and talk about sex with your teen.
Sexual education is very important for a teen to grow up with the right information and leading a healthy life in years to come. Many schools offer sex education
, but the first word on the topic is ideally expected to be done at home. As a parent many feel uncomfortable and flabbergasted as to how to start and converse on the topic. Making sex a taboo subject can do more harm than good. So it is advisable that parents take the right initiative and adopt the right approach to deal with sex. Here are a few pointers:
Break the Ice
This is not difficult as sex is rampant in everyday news, advertisements and entertainment media. So it is a naturally ever present subject, simply waiting to be acknowledged. There can be a difference of opinion on whether it should be like this or otherwise, but you can use this situation to your advantage and seize the opportunity to discuss on the subject. This way, the teen will not feel that it is out of the blue, that you are mentioning it. It is often found that while you are engaged in some regular activity like washing the car, or mowing the lawn, or buying groceries, it happens to be the best opportunity to have a talk.
Be Genuine With Your Approach
Remember, the teen might be younger to you, but he or she can tune you up quite easily. So if you dislike the fact that you have to talk on sex, or are uncomfortable, the teen will not take much time in seeing through this fact. So it is better that you accept it that you are not comfortable in talking about sex, but it is important that you have this conversation as it is related to the growing up of the teen, and that he needs to know certain facts.
Be Direct With Your Approach
It is also important that you adopt a direct approach, without harping on unnecessary topics or beating around the bush. Take up a specific issue like oral sex or intercourse and explain to the teen that one is not the alternative for the other. Before this, make sure that you look up on vital aspects on your topic so that you are equipped to answer his queries and clear the doubts. Be objective while you present the risks of each topic. Inform them about sexually transmitted diseases, along with the emotional aspects of the act and the possibility of unplanned pregnancies. Make it clear that oral sex is not a risk-free option to intercourse.
Your Conversation Should Go Beyond the Facts
This means that when you talk about sex, do not just talk about the physical or the physiological aspects. Sex involves the body and the mind as well. So talking about emotions, feelings and values are important as well. Make the kid aware of family values and the aspects from the religious aspect, if you happen to follow any. This will help the teen develop a holistic approach towards sex.
Look From the Teen’s Viewpoint
This is very important. You are not expected to lecture on a subject and think that your job is done and the teen will not automatically follow you dictate. An approach that scares the teen from indulging in sexual activity is not advisable. It can work for a very limited period and chances of the teen falling under peer pressure and sexual assault and bullying or wilful sexual behaviour are high. So it is required to hear the teen speak out his point of view on sex, what are his doubts, feelings and concerns. Be patient, casual and affectionate in your approach. Help the kid to speak up and answer his queries with rightful info and intent.
Finally, when you decide to talk to your teen about sex, it is never complete unless you keep the passage of another conversation open, as and when required. Make sure that you tell him that you are always ready and available to answer anything related to it, should he want any clarification or questions. Also show your encouragement by saying something that you are glad that the child has come to you with his doubts and questions. This will make the teen feel comfortable as well.