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Raising Children Topics..

You are here : home > Raising Children > Social Relationships in Children > Sleepovers


Most parents are not always immediately comfortable with the idea of sleepovers and parents in India, being more conservative than their global counterparts, even less so.

Rashmi Vohra, mother of two pre-teen boys, completely prohibits sleepovers. She doesn't mind friends of her boys coming over to spend the night, but her sons are forbidden from spending the night at their friends' houses. Uday, her husband, disagrees with this decision, but refrains from interfering. According to Uday, sleepovers are an important part of growing up. "They are almost a rite of passage, but I understand Rashmi's concerns. Perhaps she will be more at ease when they are a little older."

No matter how old your child, sleepovers with friends cause immense enjoyment. However, sleepovers also provide parents with a lot of apprehension and parents find it easier to put their foot down and disallow sleepovers than to address their apprehensions.

Your child will be forming friendships at every stage of his life but remember that at least some friendships he has formed during his childhood years will last his entire life. Bondings within a group are likely to turn out to be very strong when the children spend nights together, which is also perhaps why children who go to boarding schools have friendships that run so deep.

Take your children's wishes seriously. If your child's entire group of friends spends nights at each other's house, it may be unfair on your child if he is excluded every time. Although the decision is ultimately up to you and you definitely know what's best for your child keeping your particular circumstances in mind, ask yourself if you wouldn't feel more comfortable if you knew the parents of your children's friends. If the answer is yes, consider inviting them over for a cup of tea or dinner. Or, invite your children's friends over to spend the night at your place first so you can get to know the kids and request the parents to drop off the children themselves and to stay back and have a drink or tea with you. They would like this too, as it gives them an opportunity to get to know you, and vice versa.

Once you know them and are convinced that they have fairly similar values as you, you may feel comfortable letting your children spending the night at their house. All parents love their children, but while one parent may have no problem passing a glass of whiskey to their children, the same action may send shudders down your spine. It is thus important to know the parents of your child's friends, especially when your child is still young, before you let them spend the night at their house.

If you are worried about what your child will do when spending the night with a friend, speak with that friend's parents. All parents will understand your apprehensions, and it will most certainly not be out of line to have a word about your concerns. If you do not want your children to go out after dropping them to their friend's place, let the parent know. You could also fix up rules with the parents like no surfing the internet, and so on.

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Vidur.9 years ago
very interesting. my child wants to spend the night at
her friends house but i never would allow him. now
after reading the article i think i should approach
this problem in another manner. u are right, all her
friends are allowed to spend nights out at each others
house and we used to only not allow him. we will
reconsider now. thank you.
do not let kids sleep-over because the things they do with this freedom is dirty.. d-i-r-t-y, absoloutley disgusting.. my daughter is vegetarian, and her friends together they killed a pig!
friendly mom.9 years ago
very confusing .....isnt ? i remember ..evenmy parents were damn against sleep overs.
im sure //slowly v have to understand the whole thing...i think all depends upon their friends...if v know the friends family well then ..i think its agood ofcourse kids also shld be bit matured ....
Preeta.9 years ago
hey i think its a great idea to let kids sleep over. maybe when they are a little older, and it makes sense about what the article says that u need to know the family. in any case u cant protect your chidl forver. what do u do when she goes away to school and lives in the hostel with other kids? if she's never ever stayed away from home it may be hard for her to adjust to such intimacy w;ith friends.
Kylie.9 years ago
k oh my god why cant you let your kids "sleepover?" k omg it's not dirty thats not normal behavior to kill a pig at a sleepover... maybe your kid is just a weirdo....but all you do at those kinda partys is play truth or dare and watch scary movies and hug your friends real tight if your scared.... is that dirty? maybe you should watch the christina agulaira version of dirty.... and you know what is the most fun? it's haveing girl-boy sleepovers i have had experiences, my daughter had one.
alice moore.9 years ago
sleepovers are fine and just think if you were a kid youd love to go to one maybe your bein a bit harsh on your kids just let them live free for a while and if it doesnt work, talk to them explaning your views
jenny.9 years ago
i think that children should be alowed sleepovers. sleepovers are fun for children and for you. it's the best seeing your kids and their friends waking up to the smell of the pancakes you cooked. children should be alowed sleepovers!!!
CanaGurl.9 years ago
kids are young and need to have fun! sleepovers are great! :)
Hillary.9 years ago
phhht, emily-elizabeth-clark is a real airhead to think that kids will be dirt and isguting at sleepovers. i am i kid and i happen to be going to a huge sleepover with boys and girls mixed! are some people gonna kiss? maybe. are we gonna "make-out?" no. adults can be so closed minded. you are only young once, so have fun and live life to its fullest! i pity the kids that are not allowed to go to sleepovers because of their parents. sleepovers are full of pranks, laughing, secrets, truth or dare, 7 mins in heaven, and just plain fun. :) i can't wait for the huge sleepover i am going to!

*note: all the things we do with our freedom is dirty? hahaha i am sorry but look at adults. they are the smokers, stripers, on drugs, into sex, and all a kid wants to do at a mixed sleepover is maybe a kiss?
no way!.9 years ago
no sleepover. okay. no way. no way no way. never.
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