How Can Being Helpful Lead to Happiness

Happinessisalwaysawelcomeemotion,weallwanttobehappyandwealwaysdriveouractionsinsuchawaythatresultsineitherourhappinessorinthehappinessofsomeoneweholddear. Andeveryonestrivesforhappiness,soyoucantoo,aslongasyouarenotharminganyoneorcausinganyonehurt.Astepabovethat,betterthanthat,istoachievehappinesswhilehelpingothersorhavingapositiveinfluenceoverother’slife.Andbyhelpingothersandmakingthemhappy,arewenotgettinghappinessaswell?Isn’titnicetobethereasonsomeonehastoworryalittlelessaboutsomething?Doesitnotfeelgoodwhensomeonehassomethingalittleeasierinaworldthatisotherwisestressfuleverymoment,becauseofus?Fromaveryyoungage,wehavebeentaughtidealsthatinvolvebeingselflessandhelpfultowardsothers,thatweprogressasasocietyonlywhenweallarewillingtohelpeachotherandhavethebestinterestofthecommunityinmind.Andtheseareimportantlessonstoo,onesthathelpusalotinourlifeandthewayweliveit,shouldwechoosetoacceptandapplytheselessons.Andthethingiswhenweemulatesuchbehaviourintoourpersonality,wealsofeelbetteraboutourselves,wefeellikewearedoingsomethingright,asthatiswhatwehavebeentaughtsincesuchayoungage.Evenasanadultwithcriticalthinkingskills,whenwecanevaluatewhatwehavebeentaughtandseparateitfromwhatwetrulybelievein,asanadultwithourthree-dimensionalknowledgewhichhasdepthfromtheyearswehavespentaccumulatingit,wecantellthathelpingothersisagooddeedandonlyeverbringspositivitytobothourlivesandtothelivesofthosewhowehavehelped.Whenwedogooddeedsorthingsthatwedeemas‘right’ormorallycorrectaccordingtoourprinciples,itmakesusproudofourselves,doesn’tit?Thismeanswecansafelysaythatbeinghelpfulandextendingahelpinghandtowardsothersisalsodoingthesametowardsourselves,wearemakingourselvesfeelgoodwhenwehelpothersaswell.Itisatwo-marks-with-one-arrowsituation. Buttakealookatamoredetailedbreakdownofhowbeinghelpfulcanleadtohappinessbelow!1.Itjustmighthelpyoufindyourpassion.Andthismightjustbeapassionforhelpingothersitself,butitcouldalsobranchouttootherthingsyoumightbeinterestedinaswell.Howyoumightwonder.Here’show-imagineascenariowhereyourneighbourisplanningonstartingtheirownsmallbusiness.Ane-commercesitethatsellstheirsmallhandicraftsandknick-knacks.Buttheyalsoneedsomeonetohandletheirsocialmediasotheycanfocusontheactuallymaking-productsendofit.Sotheyapproachyouasyouaresocialmediasavvy,orattheveryleastbrowsesocialmediaandknowwhatworksandwhatgrabsattentionfromyourpersonalexperience.Nowifyouhaveahelpfulattitudeanddecidetohelpthem,youwillnotonlygetexperiencethatyoucannowaddtoyourCV,butyoumightevergetahangofitandrealisethatsocialmediamarketingisverymuchyourcup-of-tea.Youmightevengoonetopursueacareerinit.Similarly,whenyouareinclinedtohelpotherswiththedifferentthingstheymightneedhelpwith,youwouldalsobemorewillingtodipyourtoesindifferentthings,whichwillnotonlybroadenyourhorizonbutalsomakeyouawareofthemultitudeofoptionsyouhave,aswellashelpyoufigurewhatdoyouhaveanaptitudeandpassionfor.Andfindingwhatyouhaveapassionforisatypeofhappinessthatcannotreallybedescribedinwords.2.Itteachesyoutobettermanageyourtime.Timeisafiniteresource,therichandthepoorhavethesameamountoftimeinaday.Therichestpersonandthepoorestpersonstillhaveonly24hoursinaday,theonlydifferenceliesinthewaytheygettoandchoosetospendthose24hours.Doyouknowwhatthatmeansforyou?Itmeansyouhavethesamepotentialaseitherofthem,itonlydependsonhowwellyoumanagethistimethatmakesadifferenceinwhatyoumakeofit.Andbeinghelpfultoothershelpsyoulearnhowtomanagetimebetter.Whenyouchoosetohelpsomeone,itmostoftentakesacertaindegreeoftimeandefforttohelpthem.Thereisnowayyoucanhelpsomeonewithoutspendingatleastalittlebitofyourtime.Andusually,thisistimeyouhavetomakeaplacefor,inyourdailyschedule.Thiswillencourageyoutobemoreawareofthethingsyouhavetodoinadayandrearrangethosetasksaccordinglytomakespacesometimetohelpothersaswell.Itwillalsourgeyoutogetthetaskdonequicklyandoutofthewayinsteadofprocrastinating,sothatyoucangetontothenexttaskinsteadofhavingtorushtodoeverythingatthelastmoment.Thisnewlyacquiredskilloftimemanagementwillhelpyoubemoresuccessful, butwillalsomakeyoufeelaccomplishedaswell.3.Embracethejoyofgiving.Thephrase‘joyofgiving’hasbeenpopularisedduetoafestivalofthesamenamethataimstobringtheexcesspeoplemayhavetothepeoplewhoaredeprivedinsomeway.Thetaglineisnotjusttheretobecatchybutencompassesatruephenomenon.Givingmakesyouhappy.Helpingthoseinneedmakesyouhappy.Itisn’tjustanobservationbasedonanecdotalexperiencesbutisbackedbyscienceandresearch.Manystudiescorroboratethefactthathelpingsomeoneorgivingsomethingtosomeonethattheymayneedandmighthelptheminthefuture,stimulatestherewardcentresinourbrain.Doyouknowwhatothertimesthisrewardcentreisstimulated?Whenweachievesomethingorwhenweareexcitedaboutsomething,whenwefinallygetsomethingwehavebeenwantingforalongtime.Forexample,youhaveorderedsomethingonlinethatyouhavebeenreallyintriguedabout,andtheshipmentgetsdelayedbyafewdays.Whenitfinallyarrives,andyouhavereachedthepeakofyourexcitement,youopenit.Themomentyouopentheparcelandhavewhateveryouhadorderedinyourhands,iswhenthisrewardcentreofyourbrainisstimulated.Putsimply,helpingsomeoneandbeinghappyhavetheprocessinthebrain,biologically.Sowheneveryouareupset,justhelpsomeoneouttokickstartthehappypartofyourbrain.4.Findwaystointegrateyourinterests,hobbiesandskillswiththewaysinwhichyoucanhelpothersIfyouaresuccessfulinachievingthis,itisaclassicwin-winscenario.Letmeexplain.Let’sgobacktothatpointwherewediscussedhowpeoplehavealimitedamountoftimeinwhichtheycandoeverythingtheywant.Agoodchunkofitgoesintodailylifemaintenancei.esleeping,eating,fulfillinghygieneneeds.Thenanotherchunkgoesintoyourjob,alsonecessarytosurviveandsustainyourself.Andthenthereremainsonlysomuchtimewhereyoucanfithelpingsomeoneandsometimeforyourselfwhichyouspenddoingthingsyoulikeorworkingonthingsyouwanttodevelop.Soifyoucanfindwaystohelpsomeonethatengagesoneofyourhobbiesoroneoftheskillsyouareinterestedindevelopinginyourself,youaremakingveryefficientuseofyourtime.Insuchacase,youwon’thavetochoosebetweenyourselfandhelpingsomeoneelse,asyouwillbedoingabitofboth.Inascenario,whereoneofyourhobbiesiscalligraphy,andyouhaveafriendwhoisthrowingapartyonschedulinganevent,youcanhelpthembyusingyourknackforcalligraphytopersonalisetheinvites.Itissuretomaketheeventahit,becausepeoplelovetopreserveinvitesastokensofmemoriestheyareapartof,andnowtheyhaveacustomisedinvitewiththeirnameonitwritteninaprettyway,andyouhavebenefittedtoobyhavingmoreexperienceandgettingtodosomethingyoulike.5.Beproactive,notreactiveThephrasemightbealittleconfusing,especiallyintermsofhelpfulness.Butitmakesalotofsenseonceyouunderstandit.Letusassumeyouarenotapersonwhogoesoutoftheirwaytohelpsomeoneorarenotveryhelpfulunlessexplicitlyaskedtohelpout.Andthensomeonewhoneedshelpsandfindsyouavailableandasksyoutohelp.Insuchasituation,itwouldbeawkwardforyoutosayno.Thesocialcostofhavingsaidnowillmakeyouhesitatefromdoingso.Butsometimesyoumaynotwanttohelpoutwiththatparticularthing,orworseyoumayhaveothercommitmentsthatprohibityoufromhelpingoutandyouhavenochoicebuttosayno.Thiswon’tjustputyourrapportwiththeminjeopardy,butitalsoaffectsyourimageandthewayothersthinkaboutyou.Yourreactioncouldbemisinterpreted.Toavoidsuchastickysituation,trytobeproactiveinstead.Trytoapproachothersandaskthemiftheyneedhelpwheneveryouarefreeandhavetheenergytohelpout,tryhelpingwiththesmallerthingsaswell.Whenyouareproactiveandhavethatimpressioninother’smindsaboutyou,ifyouareinasituationwhereyoucan’thelpoutordon’twantto,peoplearelesslikelytodevelopanegativeideaaboutyouandwillinsteadbemoreunderstandingandempathetic.Andbeingunderstoodbypeoplealwaysfeelsgood,alwaysmakesushappy.6.Knowwhen,whereandhowtohelp.Itisjustasimportanttohelpwhenappropriateasitistohelpatall.Knowinghowtohelpistheleasttrickyofall,itcanbeveryeasytofigureouthowtohelpsomeone.Observethem,figureoutwhattheyaretryingtodo,whattheirendgoalisandthenaskyourselfwhatwouldyoudoifyouwereinthatsituation,orwhatwouldyouneedhelpwith,inthatsituation.Andifanyofthisiscomplicatedtofigureout,youcouldalwaysjustsimplywalkuptothemandaskhowyoucanhelpthem.Iamsuretheywillappreciatethehelp.Wheretohelpiseasytofigureoutaswell.Lookaround,anytimeyouareinthemoodtohelpsomeonejustsimplylookaround.Thereisalwayssomeonewhoneedshelp,andifnotsomeonewhoneedshelp,thereisalwayssomeonewhocouldusesomehelp.Evenifsomeoneisnotactivelyaskingforhelp,therearesmallwaysyoucanshowyourintentiontohelp-likelettingsomeonegothroughthedoorfirst,holdingthedooropenforsomeoneafteryou,orsimplyhelpsomeonecarrythingstheyarestrugglingwithtocarry.Whentohelpisalittletricky,sometimesyouwantingtohelpcanbetakenthewrongway,canbeseenasyouassumingtheyarenotcompetenttosolvetheproblemthemselves.Aquickfixtothatwouldbetoaskthemfirst,ifyoucanhelpthemandifyes,how.Themostimportantpointthough,isonlyhelptillyoucananddon’tletyourselffeelguiltyforwhereyoucannothelp.Youareonepersonandyoualonecanthelpeveryoneonyourown.Andyouaretryingyourbest.Ifyoufeelbadabouteverythingyoucan’thelp,youwillonlymakeyourselfmiserable.Butifyouknowyourlimitswellandworkwithinthem,helpingotherswillbringyouhappiness.

Happiness is always a welcome emotion, we all want to be happy and we always drive our actions in such a way that results in either our happiness or in the happiness of someone we hold dear.  And everyone strives for happiness, so you can too, as long as you are not harming anyone or causing anyone hurt. A step above that, better than that, is to achieve happiness while helping others or having a positive influence over other’s life. And by helping others and making them happy, are we not getting happiness as well? Isn’t it nice to be the reason someone has to worry a little less about something? Does it not feel good when someone has something a little easier in a world that is otherwise stressful every moment, because of us?

From a very young age, we have been taught ideals that involve being selfless and helpful towards others, that we progress as a society only when we all are willing to help each other and have the best interest of the community in mind. And these are important lessons too, ones that help us a lot in our life and the way we live it, should we choose to accept and apply these lessons. And the thing is when we emulate such behaviour into our personality, we also feel better about ourselves, we feel like we are doing something right, as that is what we have been taught since such a young age. Even as an adult with critical thinking skills, when we can evaluate what we have been taught and separate it from what we truly believe in, as an adult with our three-dimensional knowledge which has depth from the years we have spent accumulating it, we can tell that helping others is a good deed and only ever brings positivity to both our lives and to the lives of those who we have helped.

When we do good deeds or things that we deem as ‘right’ or morally correct according to our principles, it makes us proud of ourselves, doesn’t it? This means we can safely say that being helpful and extending a helping hand towards others is also doing the same towards ourselves, we are making ourselves feel good when we help others as well. It is a two-marks-with-one-arrow situation. 

But take a look at a more detailed breakdown of how being helpful can lead to happiness below!

1. It just might help you find your passion.

And this might just be a passion for helping others itself, but it could also branch out to other things you might be interested in as well. How you might wonder. Here’s how - imagine a scenario where your neighbour is planning on starting their own small business. An e-commerce site that sells their small handicrafts and knick-knacks. But they also need someone to handle their social media so they can focus on the actually making-products end of it. So they approach you as you are social media savvy, or at the very least browse social media and know what works and what grabs attention from your personal experience. Now if you have a helpful attitude and decide to help them, you will not only get experience that you can now add to your CV, but you might ever get a hang of it and realise that social media marketing is very much your cup-of-tea. You might even go one to pursue a career in it.

Similarly, when you are inclined to help others with the different things they might need help with, you would also be more willing to dip your toes in different things, which will not only broaden your horizon but also make you aware of the multitude of options you have, as well as help you figure what do you have an aptitude and passion for. And finding what you have a passion for is a type of happiness that cannot really be described in words.

2. It teaches you to better manage your time.

Time is a finite resource, the rich and the poor have the same amount of time in a day. The richest person and the poorest person still have only 24 hours in a day, the only difference lies in the way they get to and choose to spend those 24 hours. Do you know what that means for you? It means you have the same potential as either of them, it only depends on how well you manage this time that makes a difference in what you make of it. And being helpful to others helps you learn how to manage time better. When you choose to help someone, it most often takes a certain degree of time and effort to help them. There is no way you can help someone without spending at least a little bit of your time. And usually, this is time you have to make a place for, in your daily schedule. This will encourage you to be more aware of the things you have to do in a day and rearrange those tasks accordingly to make space some time to help others as well. It will also urge you to get the task done quickly and out of the way instead of procrastinating, so that you can get on to the next task instead of having to rush to do everything at the last moment. This newly acquired skill of time management will help you be more successful,  but will also make you feel accomplished as well.

3. Embrace the joy of giving.

The phrase ‘joy of giving’ has been popularised due to a festival of the same name that aims to bring the excess people may have to the people who are deprived in some way. The tagline is not just there to be catchy but encompasses a true phenomenon. Giving makes you happy. Helping those in need makes you happy. It isn’t just an observation based on anecdotal experiences but is backed by science and research. Many studies corroborate the fact that helping someone or giving something to someone that they may need and might help them in the future, stimulates the reward centres in our brain. Do you know what other times this reward centre is stimulated? When we achieve something or when we are excited about something, when we finally get something we have been wanting for a long time. For example, you have ordered something online that you have been really intrigued about, and the shipment gets delayed by a few days. When it finally arrives, and you have reached the peak of your excitement, you open it. The moment you open the parcel and have whatever you had ordered in your hands, is when this reward centre of your brain is stimulated. Put simply, helping someone and being happy have the process in the brain, biologically. So whenever you are upset, just help someone out to kickstart the happy part of your brain.

4. Find ways to integrate your interests, hobbies and skills with the ways in which you can help others

If you are successful in achieving this, it is a classic win-win scenario. Let me explain. Let’s go back to that point where we discussed how people have a limited amount of time in which they can do everything they want. A good chunk of it goes into daily life maintenance i.e sleeping, eating, fulfilling hygiene needs. Then another chunk goes into your job, also necessary to survive and sustain yourself. And then there remains only so much time where you can fit helping someone and some time for yourself which you spend doing things you like or working on things you want to develop. So if you can find ways to help someone that engages one of your hobbies or one of the skills you are interested in developing in yourself, you are making very efficient use of your time. In such a case, you won’t have to choose between yourself and helping someone else, as you will be doing a bit of both. In a scenario, where one of your hobbies is calligraphy, and you have a friend who is throwing a party on scheduling an event, you can help them by using your knack for calligraphy to personalise the invites. It is sure to make the event a hit, because people love to preserve invites as tokens of memories they are a part of, and now they have a customised invite with their name on it written in a pretty way, and you have benefitted too by having more experience and getting to do something you like.

5. Be proactive, not reactive

The phrase might be a little confusing, especially in terms of helpfulness. But it makes a lot of sense once you understand it.

Let us assume you are not a person who goes out of their way to help someone or are not very helpful unless explicitly asked to help out. And then someone who needs helps and finds you available and asks you to help. In such a situation, it would be awkward for you to say no. The social cost of having said no will make you hesitate from doing so. But sometimes you may not want to help out with that particular thing, or worse you may have other commitments that prohibit you from helping out and you have no choice but to say no. This won’t just put your rapport with them in jeopardy, but it also affects your image and the way others think about you. Your reaction could be misinterpreted.

To avoid such a sticky situation, try to be proactive instead. Try to approach others and ask them if they need help whenever you are free and have the energy to help out, try helping with the smaller things as well. When you are proactive and have that impression in other’s minds about you, if you are in a situation where you can’t help out or don’t want to, people are less likely to develop a negative idea about you and will instead be more understanding and empathetic. And being understood by people always feels good, always makes us happy.

6. Know when, where and how to help.

It is just as important to help when appropriate as it is to help at all. Knowing how to help is the least tricky of all, it can be very easy to figure out how to help someone. Observe them, figure out what they are trying to do, what their end goal is and then ask yourself what would you do if you were in that situation, or what would you need help with, in that situation. And if any of this is complicated to figure out, you could always just simply walk up to them and ask how you can help them. I am sure they will appreciate the help.

Where to help is easy to figure out as well. Look around, anytime you are in the mood to help someone just simply look around. There is always someone who needs help, and if not someone who needs help, there is always someone who could use some help. Even if someone is not actively asking for help, there are small ways you can show your intention to help - like letting someone go through the door first, holding the door open for someone after you, or simply help someone carry things they are struggling with to carry.

When to help is a little tricky, sometimes you wanting to help can be taken the wrong way, can be seen as you assuming they are not competent to solve the problem themselves. A quick fix to that would be to ask them first, if you can help them and if yes, how.

The most important point though, is only help till you can and don’t let yourself feel guilty for where you cannot help. You are one person and you alone cant help everyone on your own. And you are trying your best. If you feel bad about everything you can’t help, you will only make yourself miserable. But if you know your limits well and work within them, helping others will bring you happiness.