I’m sure you remember people asking you what you wanted to be when you grew up. And this answer may have changed multiple times under different courses of time. I’m also sure a of had one goal, or at least encouraged towards one goal, which was to be a good human.
We often try to emulate traits within us, that are considered to be good. But what traits are decided to be good and on what basis? Well, most of the time the ‘goodness’ of traits is how much it facilitates the comfort and happiness of everyone involved and how much of a positive impact it brings about. Helping others ticks all of those boxes, when you help someone it reduces the stress and anxiety one might be facing over the task, and it definitely has a positive impact. Let us take something small for example. You come into work and see your colleague stressing out over a presentation they have. As you observe them more, you realise that the reason they are stressed is that the presentation they prepared has somehow been corrupted while transferring it to their Pendrive and is now not working. You stopped by their desk earlier that week and noticed that they work on a software that automatically saves their work to the cloud. When you inform them and help them retrieve their presentation, you are displaying the characteristic of helpfulness. It facilitates the comfort and happiness of your co-worker, as all the stress they may have been experiencing must have deflated the moment they realised there might be a solution to their problem, and they must have been very happy to realise they can successfully conduct their presentation. The positive impact, of course, is their happiness as well as the fact that they now think of you in a positive light. This, in turn, is bound to make you feel good, and make you feel like you have done something good.
This was just an example, but helpfulness induces many other benefits for you like-
1. Fulfils the need for affiliation.
Humans are social beings, and hence we need human connection and need the warmth of friendships and relationships for our mental and emotional well being. Helping others can greatly assist us in making new friends and as a subsequent result, help us form a better connection with the community we are a part of. And the self-sustaining cycle structure of relationships and helping is such that helping people helps you build a foundation for the relationship to lean on, but also urges you to help the people you like and care for, have a bond with, even more. And this strengthens your relationship or bond with them as well. Such a strong feeling of camaraderie satisfies your need for affiliation, and your need for socialisation. Your friends, family and neighbours become your support system in various instances that you may face. In-person activities, such as volunteering at the local food bank, or volunteering to teach underprivileged children in your community, will not only give you a sense of helping and contributing towards the community but also helps you feel less lonely or isolated.
2. You feel good when you help others.
No, we are not dictating what your feelings are or should be, we are just stating a scientifically studied and verified statement. There is a decent amount of evidence in the form of research studies that suggest that when you help others, it can stimulate and engage those areas in the brain that are linked with happiness. Being helpful works towards you feeling good on multiple levels. The physiological part is that acts of helpfulness light up the same parts of the brain as happiness. The mental/emotional part of it could be the fact that we associate helpful behaviour, especially in us, with positive in our heads. It may be a result of the fact that we are always taught that being helpful is good as a child, but it is a lesson that serves us well. Being helpful makes us feel proud because of similar reasons, as being of help to someone as feels like you are fulfilling the expectations you have. Another reason it might feel good is that you know when you help someone that they now think of you nicely or in a positive way. And who does not like to be liked?
3. Instils a sense of purpose
We all struggle to find a purpose in life sometimes, what is the meaning of it all?, does any of it even lead to anything?, the grand “why?” of existence. We often label such thoughts as multiple things, quarter-life crisis, mid-life crisis, existential crisis etc... so we can demarcate it as a phase and not have to give it more thought than we already do. But we all wish to have a purpose, have everything that we do mean something, for it to not be regarded as valueless or worse for none of it to mean anything at all. Being Helpful towards has others been shown to improve an individual’s overall sense of purpose and identity. It may be because being of help to others makes you feel rewarded and empowered. It brings about a sense of fulfilment. It is reassuring, to be a part of someone else’s life, or at least have some sort of impact on someone’s life. It serves as a reminder that we are a part of a greater context and simply existing also serves a purpose in the bigger picture.
4. Sets things in perspective.
If you adopt an attitude that wants to help people whenever you can and whatever way you can, you also come across many situations and people that are bound to broaden your worldview. When you don’t have the intention of helpfulness in mind, you are a lot less observant than someone who is actively trying to be helpful, as a good chunk of being helpful involves being aware and observing ways in which you can help. As a result, you are also more self-aware, as well as aware of others around you. You are a lot more perceptive towards the plight of others and have a keener sense of empathy. When you help more, you find yourself in more situations where you meet people who need help, which means you see the not so palatable side of their lives. These experiences help put things in perspective, help you realize that there are bigger things in life that help you get over feeling upset about small things and minor inconveniences. It leads to you having a slightly more positive outlook towards life because you realise everyone is struggling in some way or the other and you are not alone in facing the challenges of life.
5. It is contagious!
Okay, that might not the most positive descriptor for anything given what the world is going through right now, but this is a good kind of contagious. When you help someone, you also inspire others around you to help others too. Studies show that witnessing an act of kindness/helpfulness/generosity increases the likelihood of carrying out actions of goodwill themselves. Watching someone else do good urges you to follow suit as well. This means when you do something good and when you help someone, you are not helping just them, but also urging those around you to do good as well. Which creates a sort of ripple effect. And for everyone that benefits from this ripple effect, you can take a small part of the credit for yourself for initiating it in the first place. This also goes back to the point of finding purpose, something like this also brings into sharp focus the fact that our actions can sometimes be bigger than us. And it is all the more reason to try and be as much of a positive person as we can be, to help radiate that positivity to others as well.
6. Helping others helps you stretch your lifespan
Research studies show that people who have such an approach to life that encourages them to take on tasks that help others, also have a longer lifespan on average. There could be a multitude of reasons contributing to this outcome, but if we think about it enough some reasons make themselves apparent on their own. As we already know, helping others makes us happy and gives us a sense of purpose, this means better mental health. We are more connected to our community and have more friends when we are helpful, which means we have a support system in place which makes us considerably better equipped to deal with stress. And if we are someone helpful and try our best to help people with whatever we can, it is safe to assume that we are always on the move, so we are marginally healthier. And helping others also leads to more socialisation and interacting with more people, so healthier social lives, less likelihood of feeling lonely and down, and we are happier all round. All these factors together could be the cause of a longer lifespan, along with more latent causes that we haven’t found a correlation to yet.
7. Helping others is also helping yourself.
Helping others is good, true. An added benefit of being helpful is that you learn ways to help others, you try to figure out more and more unconventional ways to fix problems and situations, you find quirky solutions that others may not have thought of. You get good at problem-solving, which ultimately helps you as much as it helps those around you that you intend to help. You also get sharper and like discussed before, you also have more experiences to share and earn more depth to yourself as a person. It greatly enhances the image you present to the world and people are more likely to take you seriously when you hone skills such as empathy and good communication, all of which does improve the more you ‘invest’ in your ability to help others.
8. Your self-esteem improves.
A huge part of the image you try to create of yourself in front of others is dependant on your self-esteem and confidence. The way you carry yourself sets the tone for the way others treat you, and someone who carries themself with confidence certainly commands more respect than someone who carries themselves with insecurities. Being helpful towards others boosts your self-confidence in two ways. Firstly, when you help someone you feel satisfied with yourself for doing so, you feel accomplished at having assisted someone positively and at having been responsible for making someone’s day at least slightly better. The act of helping others in itself is a self-esteem booster. Secondly, where you help someone, they would definitely thank you, express their gratitude towards the help you have extended to them and are also most probably going to look up to you. Both these ways fuel your confidence to carry yourself in a dignified manner.
9. You create more meaningful friendships.
This can go both ways actually, but if you are wise, you can turn it into meaningful friendships. When you are helpful, you attract both types of people. Those that are like-minded and appreciate the fact that you are willing to help people and being a force of good. On the other hand, you will also attract people who want to take advantage of your kindness. The wise way to deal with the second group of people would be to distance yourself from them and eventually cut them out of your life. The first group of people are the ones you want to hold on to, as they are the ones that will push you towards growth and provide you with an opportunity to do the same. And this mutual growth will strengthen your friendship and give you a robust support system to rely on.
10. You are a more optimistic person when you are helpful.
Being helpful reinstates your faith in others as well. You being helpful helps you to believe in other’s kindness as well. All the benefits stated above all mean an uplifted mood, you are less likely to overthink, and more likely to hope for the best. When you do good, you also believe in more good in the world. And when you are more optimistic, and in a better mood, you also convince others around you to be more optimistic as a result of your own optimism, which just creates a more positive environment altogether. So keep helping people, let yourself be helped when you need help, and keep living a positive life.
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- The Indiaparenting Team
