Renting a womb is a boon for infertile couples but for the surrogate mothers, it is a difficult preposition. Surrogate mothers; who carry and nourish the baby for the nine months are bound to have an emotional attachment with the baby. They have to relinquish all the rights on the baby and this is a sensitive issue. Read on to know how to make this process an easy one.
We are culturally accustomed to the process of conceiving, carrying and delivering a baby. This is naturally followed by the promise of care and commitment to nurture the baby into adulthood. So it is still unconventional and a deviation from the accepted norm when a woman rents her womb becomes pregnant
and gives up the baby following the delivery. It is believed that a woman develops changeable degrees of attachment to the life that she is nurturing within her.
There are two major determining factors in this regard:
- Maternal age of the woman
- Her attitude towards pregnancy
These two factors determine the manner in which she is able to relinquish the child after birth. For example if the woman who is renting her womb is in her late twenties or mid thirties believe that they have completed building up her family and are found to be considerable less attached to the baby they are carrying for any infertile couple.
How to Ease Out the Relinquishing Process
There are legal or mutual contracts that are devised to ensure that the woman renting her womb is compelled to give up the baby. The fertility clinic or the surrogate agency which is looking after and monitoring the pregnancy try to continuously remind the woman that she is supposed to give up the baby she is carrying.
They also discourage her to form any attachment with the fetus. This is a counseling treatment that goes a long way to help the woman relinquish the baby. It is also ensured that the baby is handed over to the commissioning couple right after the birth.
This helps the surrogate to reconcile their maternal thoughts and feelings. The aim should be to enable them to cognitively restructure their emotions so that the process of relinquishing the baby becomes much easier. The physicians and the counselors at the clinic ought to help the woman attain a cognitively consonant mental state.
Social and Family Support Is Important
There are certain stigmas attached to this process of renting out wombs in almost every society across the world. There has not been a good equivocal support for surrogacy which has actually led to the intensification and existence of these stigmas. Counseling is very important for the surrogate mother and she needs to be constantly reminded that she needs to relinquish. Similarly the commissioning couple also needs to be assured that there would be no interference from the side of the surrogate mother in the upbringing of the child.
There is another aspect to this episode that can compound the problems even further. The children of the woman who is renting her womb might suffer from a depression out of the fear that they might also be relinquished. There ought to be a good medical awareness and firm family support that can ease out this process of surrogacy and relinquishment.
Chances of Exploitation
In a lot of instances it has been found that the woman who is renting her womb requests the commissioning couple to be clear about the origins of the child once the baby is grown up. They want to have this assurance as a part of their contract as they too were clear with their spouses and children that the baby would be relinquished soon after birth.
The commissioning couples agree to this but more often than not it is found that just after the legal formalities are over, the baby and the commissioning couple vanishes from the surrogate mother’s life. They end up viewing this as a sort of emotional exploitation and betrayal of trust. It is not easy to solve this problem as both the mothers have a genuine emotional reason to validate their respective behavior.