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You are here : home > Raising Children > Behavioral Problems > Why Children Lie?

Why Children Lie?


Why Children Lie

Lying is one of the common childhood behavioural concerns. Read on to know more about why children lie and how to raise an honest and truthful child.

Parents are very well aware of the fact that children lie. Some would attest to it while some may not. However, lying is a skill that children easily and quickly learn. Well, there are many reasons why children lie and as soon as the reason is known to the parents, they can workout solution too. Most often children lie to avoid blame or punishment.

The fact is majority of the children lie. But some do it more often while some make it rare. The only thing is that those children who are persistent liars so not feel good about themselves. However, if the child is lying repeatedly, you should be serious and find out what exactly the problem and the reason are.

Reasons Behind Lying of Children

Fear of Punishment –

This is the biggest and most common cause that makes a child lie. This usually happens when the kid is sure that he is going to get a scolding or may be slap for the action he has done.

Save Someone –

Children lie sometimes to protect someone else.

Truth is Boring –

Sometimes kids feel that truth is boring and they make imaginative excuses.

To avoid Unlikable Task –

Sometimes children do not like to do some work and they lie so that they can avoid doing them.

Habit or by Mistake –

Children tell lies by habit also. This becomes after regular practice. Some children automatically lie and this is a real hard task for the parents to help them get rid of this habit.

Humiliation and Embarrassment –

Children after doing certain act feel humiliated or embarrassed and so try to lie and avoid the situation in a better way.

Get Attention –

Many children make different stories in order to get attention from their parents, friends and other people as well.

Pain –

Some incidents cause great deal of pain and so to avoid this entire children lie.

Tips to Tackle with a Lying Child

Well, it is true that you cannot keep your children from lying. But, at least you can make it a less rewarding activity. Most often lying come out as a matter of self protection and by creating a situation in which your child seems assured can help a lot here.

  • Do not blame the child for the lie he spoke. Rather focus the conversation on what the incident was and find out what your child is trying to tell you.
  • Avoid cross examination. Remember, the subject of talking is mere communication and you simply want your child to tell the truth.
  • Most children will avoid coming out of it as it is very easy to slip into the habit of lying. It is rather painful to get out of it.
  • When your child has done something, do not trap him in a situation where he feels lying is the best way out. Talk to him calmly about what happened and analyse the situation in a positive environment.
  • It is very hard to confess. So, if your child confesses to you, listen to him and support his truthfulness instead of blaming him for what he did.

Parents should use punishment as the last option and not their first reaction. This is because the purpose and intention of every parent is to give confidence to the child and encourage honesty in him. Make your child love the truth and hate lies from heart.

Does your child lie? What are the common causes for the development of habit of lying children? How can parents control the habit of lying in children? Discuss here.




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Roohani
Roohani.11 years ago
My daughter used to leave work incomplete at school, so was instructed to complete in school during class only else will be strictly dealt at home. She found a way of hiding copies at school locker and never bringng up at home on one pretext or other. This was for dfear of punishment.Had i told her to bring even incomplete andcomplete at home, she would not have lied and not suffered in studies...so i agree, lying is to escape punishment...better not punish them physically, emotionally balckmailing kids to an extent can do good jjob.
 
 
 
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Xavier Kujur
Xavier Kujur.12 years ago
always the parents' fault. my 7 yr old lies to point where he's putting himself in danger. of course he's scared to tell the truth with some things, because he will be disciplined. i am not going to applaud him and let his behaviour slide, just because he told the truth. are we supposed to hold our tongues, or have no expectations, merely because it will put pressure on the child? how will they ever learn to be responsible, without expectations? i want to help my son, and this article is far from helpful.
 
 
 
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Jitendra Mondal
Jitendra Mondal.12 years ago
i am now searching for a way to help my child stop lying and a way to help me deal with this without frustration. this article doesn't help either of these problems. crtainly there are reasons that a child becomes a habitual liar but, if he doesn't want to share these reasons with you and insists on lying about anything and everything, despite facing consequences and knowing that it's wrong to lie, what do you do to prevent this?
 
 
 
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Vishakha Kadam
Vishakha Kadam.12 years ago
we live in difficult times and it is all very easy to preach without practicing. we all lie and therefore to expect no lying is impossible. the key is to remove abnormal fear from the child and become a confidante to your child, a real friend or bosom pal so that the child has no fear of a dmitting his mistakes and does not cover up one lie with many more lies. we must be conscious of our behaviour in front of our children at all times. one small thing i tell my child is that whenever you are not sure of whether to do or not do a thing you ask yourself if you can tell your parents about your action without any fear. later in life you can substitute this parent with the voice of our lord and father or god and most times you will not err.
 
 
 
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