Yelling is one of the most ineffective ways to discipline children. Read on to find out how to talk to children without yelling.As a parent it is natural to feel impatient and irritated at times when your kids do not listen to you or are being deliberately obtuse. However, before you start
yelling or shouting at them it is best to stop and consider the multiple side effects of verbal abuse and shouting.
Psychiatrists and child counsellors have equated verbal abuse with recurring acts of rebellion,
disobedience and even depression in kids citing yelling as a symptom of ineffective parenting. So if you find yourself tempted to shout there are certain things that you could do to control the situation.
Practice Deep Breathing
There is scientific evidence which points towards the benefits of deep breathing or power breathing on the body. All you have to do is when you are about to burst out in a torrent of words is to take a moment to pause and stop. Draw your breath in deeply, hold it for a second and then exhale really slowly till you can feel your lungs contract. Repeat the process 10 times and by the end of 10 full breathing cycles you will feel calmer and more composed. Now frame out your sentences and think of what you are going to say to your kid to make him or her listen.
Address the Cause Not the Symptom
Most parents rarely pause to think about the root cause of
bad behaviour or disobedience choosing to react by yelling instead. Kids do not have an inbuilt moral compass and it is difficult for them to differentiate between good and bad behaviour sometimes. As a parent if you sit down and try to analyse the reason behind your kid’s behaviour you will naturally feel the desire to shout ebbing away. For example, your kid could choose to ignore your instructions of getting ready for school because there is a bullying issue there. So this is a scenario in which the cause needs to be dealt with patiently and with love.
Use a Neutral Firm Tone of Voice
Child psychiatrists say that a worked up parent is an ineffective parent as a child who is being yelled at usually
yells back without really getting the message. The best way to talk to kids and make them listen is to use a firm, soft and neutral voice that means business without being rude or offensive. When kids see a parent using a firm and controlled voice they automatically perceive that the situation is serious and then tend to grasp the message faster.
Follow Out Words by Action
Kids are smart and the moment they realise that parents are not going to follow up words by actions, they actually start testing the limits of
discipline. So the best way to enforce discipline and actually make your child listen to you is to do what you say. So for example if you say “if you don’t switch off your TV and do your homework now then no more TV for tomorrow” then make sure that you carry out your promise of no more TV. Not sticking to your word will only make your kid disobey you more the next time round making you even angrier.
Cultivate a Strong Bond
The more emotionally close you are to your kid the more likely he or she is to listen to you. Try to understand the psychology of your kid and know more about hidden insecurities and fears. A kid who shares everything with parents has a very less chance of acting bad and thus stands a negligible chance of getting yelled at.
Now that you know these effective ways of how to talk to children without yelling you are already on your way to becoming a more effective parent.
What is the right way to talk to kids? Do children listen when parents yell at them? What are the ill effects of yelling at children? Discuss here.
