Day dreaming is a behavioural disorder. Day dreamers are actually not in touch with the reality. They are absorbed in their own world. Day dreamer child may lose social contact with his surrounding. Read on to know more.
Shraviya is an intelligent 8-year-old girl who was good at her studies. She could grasp and retain anything that was explained to her just once. But over the past couple of months her grades had started dropping. Her mother often caught her staring out of the window for hours on end. Her teacher constantly pulled her up for daydreaming in class. How could she grasp what was being taught if she just was not paying attention? Finally her father took her to see a child guidance counselor.
Here her parents learnt that daydreaming is a fairly common phenomenon - and though it is not harmful, it should not be indulged in excessively. Daydreaming is easy enough to diagnose, but unfortunately it is equally difficult to get rid of. And if taken to an extreme, it can physically endanger the child or others around.
Richa Saklani, a reader from India, submitted this interesting case of Mark Twain. "There are patterns, no doubt, but creativity and genius don't come from patterns. Mark Twain was a daydreamer--in his autobiography, he recounts an episode of when he was daydreaming when he took his infant for a drive -- the clothes flew off the child and the child was blue with cold. The child died a few days later. I admire Twain's honesty and confidence and his faith in his own quirks that would have made him write this in an otherwise happy and amused account of life. While I agree that the source of daydreaming may be the need to escape from unpleasant or stressful situations, I also believe that a child's natural habits should not be threatened through something as horrible and useless as vigilance. They say that the whole world is an illusion - sab maya hai - someone's daydream maybe. A daydreaming child would have sensitivity, depth and intelligence. She should be encouraged to be herself - should not be disturbed, should be given her space and nurtured."
Thus as you can see, while daydreaming does inspire imagination, it could also shut you out from reality. This is because the daydreamer is so lost in his thoughts that he loses his bearings entirely and is oblivious to things around him. If a daydreaming child happens to be on the road, this state of mind can prove to be very dangerous, or even fatal. I know of a person who almost got run over by a vehicle. He didn't even see it coming, so lost was he in his business problems. Similarly, Mrs. Srinivasan, an eminent lawyer, does not drive the car when she has a particularly absorbing case, because she tends to completely lose her bearings in trying to come up with a winning argument.
How does daydreaming start?
First we should try to understand how it begins. In some cases the child might not want to accept an unpleasant situation that he or she is faced with. This could be a constant stressful situation at home or school. The child then finds it easier and certainly more fun to mentally disappear into another more pleasant world of his own creation. A world of fantasy in which he can have whatever he likes, even things that he cannot have in reality. In other cases the child is so obsessed with his own thoughts, that he is absolutely unconcerned by the happenings in his environment. So even though he is physically present, he is mentally in absentia and loses sight and sound of everything around him.
Distracting
Day dreaming can be very distracting. Your child may have difficulty completing the task at hand, because he tends to get distracted by day dreams. This affects his day to day working, and your child slowly gets more and more absent-minded. After a point, he may start losing physical and social contact with his surroundings and become increasingly withdrawn. This is the beginning of a vicious circle, as he will further withdraw into his world each time he meets with a setback of any kind. Studies Very often, your child's studies suffer as a result of constant day dreams. You may wonder why your child is not getting the grades, even though he seems buried in his books for hours on end. Simple. His mind is elsewhere, wandering the globe!
Creativity and daydreaming
Now that we've spoken about the dangers of excessive daydreaming, it's time to look for the silver lining in the dark cloud. Yes, daydreaming has its advantages too. While daydreaming is not a desirable habit, it does have a few redeeming points. Day dreaming fosters a child's imagination, and enhances creativity. Did you know that most of the famous people have been day dreamers? So if the extent of day dreaming is controlled, everything is fine. But if your child is a habitual day dreamer and tends to wander off a bit too often for comfort, it's time you did something about it.
Tips on how to reduce your child's tendencies to wander off:
Observe your child
You should try and curb your child's day dreaming tendencies at as young an age as possible. Ask yourself these questions: Is your child getting enough sleep? Is he too tired? Or is he well rested?
Exercise
Does your child get enough exercise? Very often the lack of a physical workout is compensated by an over-active 'mental workout'. Make sure your child exercises enough. Enroll him in tennis classes, get him interested in swimming, or encourage him to start playing cricket with the neighbourhood boys.
TV
Reduce the amount of television your child watches. This almost always plays a role in distracting your child from the mundane realities of life, and sets him off on a parallel tangent.
Irregularities
Look for irregularities in your child's schedule. Has he suddenly stopped hanging out with a particular close friend? Has he started going to bed early? These will provide keys to his behaviour.
Checklist
Sit with your child and make a homework checklist. Make sure he completes his assignments. While it is not advisable to sit with him and plan out his homework constantly, a push in the right direction will definitely not harm.
Teacher
Get in touch with your child's teacher. Explain the situation to her. In all likelihood she would have noticed his tendency to day dream or his absent-mindedness as well. Work with her in getting him to focus more in the class room. Find out if he can be seated in the front of his class.
Name:
Richa,
Country: India
Hey..!! I myself was a daydreamer once..!! But when i started hanging out and spending more time with my friends and family, it stopped..!! If you don't want your child to become day dreamer, create situations that seems better than dreams to him... When reality is better than dreams, a child stops day dreaming..!! Usually Day dreaming is done to give mental satisfaction to our self..!! If some child is day dreaming it means he is upset or he doesn't have much friends or he is not interested in the task..!!
Name:
sherry,
Country: U.S.A.
If you notice a child staring out into space for a few seconds and then they come right back, it could be a sign of Absence seizures, which is a form of epilepsy. my son has this and it started at a young age of 4 or 5,but we didn't get it fully diagnosed until the age of 12. He now is on medicine which helps tremendouly. He also has ADD(attention deficit disorder) and is on medication for that also. He was failing in school this year from sept-dec. but after the medication for ADD, he turned his grades around and passed to the 8th grade.
Name:
Feff,
Country: USA
thanks, vicki. as the proud proprietor of a rambling mind, i am relieved to hear that there are still people who do not view creativity as a disorder. while my tendency to "drift off" can be frustrating at times, i have learned to control it to the degree that i have a--gasp--normal, happy life.
Name:
Sparkles,
Country: Canada
when i was really, many teacher really complained about me daydreaming so much. my dad would always be so angry about my daydreaming. i am beginning to learn that daydreaming can be very helpful in guiding people in their lives. for example, daydreaming can help possibly help you acheive your goals or help you write imaginative stories if you are a writer. daydreaming can guide you, for example, i have been daydreaming about an acquaintance that i met 10 years and i have learning things about myself that i might of not realized. for example, i have discovered that there are quite a number of risks that i haven't taken and i am hoping i can have more courage. he has helped me realized to try some new things and if it doesn't work out i at least tried. i do believe that daydreaming can be positive.
Name:
linda,
Country: Canada
i used to daydream a lot but have stopped myself after this incident. i was in the grocery store and was daydreaming. i took someone else's cart and went off with it. i noticed that the cart was heavier and looked down and saw it was the wrong one. i was so embarassed. i have made an effort and not daydream as much and have found i can get more things accomplished in my day.
Name:
Melanie,
Country: Australia
i am a terminal daydreamer. aalways have been. has anyone ever experienced this in a negative sense for example, reality becomes so stressful that the habit of daydreaming becomes your preferred existence and what you are daydreaming about is no longer bringing you pleasure
Name:
pads,
Country: India
it is thoroughly confusing that the page on day dreaming says that it is a behavioural disorder the views on this page says that it enhances and should be allowed. i have a child in my class who is seven years and making him write has become such a big problem because he is always in the dreamland. please help
Name:
Debbie,
Country: USA
i believe day dreaming is as natural as night dreaming -- that we have subtle rhythms of drifting in and out of focus on concrete reality. one should allow themselves time to daydream -- knowing that it will happen. try to be aware of how often you need to daydream. the advantage of daydreaming over nigh dreaming is that you have some control over the dream. here is where you can use your imagination to improve your life. beware of negative daydreaming and change it to a beautiful daydream. i believe lack of daydreaming time leads to high stress levels.
Name:
Skye,
Country: Australia
i used to daydream a lot at school after my parents broke up anf my mother married an abusive man. it was a way to escape and cope. after a couple of years and teacher complaints i moved school and one of my first assignments was to write a story. it turned out i was very creative and i was put in a writing class, wrote a book at 12 which was published. i never did do very well at school, was very nervous of my teacher as i felt she hated me from my daydreaming. i am a mature age student now at university and lead a very happy life. i don't have so much time to daydream but i am happy.
Name:
Ishrath,
Country: USA
the day dreaming may also because of the fantasy stories the kids heared with their elders.and they wanted to be like the heros in the stories.
Name:
Jaime,
Country: USA
i've been daydreaming daily for the past nine years. it has not stopped me from "growing" as a person; in fact, i'd say that it has done the opposite. if anything, its taught me to think for myself and to think out of the box. i am extremely creative because i daydream. as an artist, that's a good thing. i believe the whole "daydreaming is a personality disorder" thing stems from the current trend that "if my child isn't the next einstein, then there is something wrong with them." personally, when it becomes easier to teach a child to regurgitate knowledge than to find a way to funnel their apparent creativity, i begin to worry about the future.
Name:
Michelle,
Country: USA
i have a middle school age son who has been a daydreamer since he was a toddler, it is now beginning to affect his ability to concentrate in school. he is a straight a honor student, and i don't know how to help him learn to "control" his daydreaming at times that he needs to be getting instructions or assignments. help!
Name:
pooja,
Country: India
i was very happy to see this article as i am a trainee doing my ecce diploma and we as group have to sudmit a presentation on daydreaming.i appreciate the effort putting this kind of information on net cause in india parents really need to be aware of these kind of day to day problems realting to the children.
Name:
lee,
Country: USA
my daughter is in the third grade and daydreams often. she loves to write and make films. she wants to be a writer and a filmaker when she grows up. as long as she maintains good grades (which so far she does), i am proud of her and i hope she continues to dream.
Name:
naddy,
Country: USA
i dont think daydreaming is a crock so i agree with vicki. i think daydreaming is heathy because you can get a deal of idea. so the person will have a good imagination and become someone great with his/her ability to understand and put things in perspective even of it is very strange and unable to comprend
Name:
Namika,
Country: USA
i have a 5yr.old son that has just started to appear to be daydreaming on a consistent basis. out of no where or in the middle of anything he couold be doing in that moment he would start to daydream. it is the scariest thing. i'm curently not working with no insurance and am worrying is this something to freak out over or just calm down and let him grow out of this phase. his teacher though has told me that he frequently goes into la,la land.
also, he has this new found love of playstation 2. i read on the back of one of the games i've recently rented that if he showes any signs of epileptic symptoms and one of those signs would be that of lack of awareness have him discontinue use and consult a physician. this is a problem also because a. my husband thinks i'm overreacting and my son throws to bad of fits if i take it away from him. i have though discontinue use on the weekdays for play but on the weekends he play's.
please help. i don't know what to do about this.
Name:
A. K. A.,
Country: USA
i haven't read the article but i daydream all the time. it's nice to be able to create a world of your own or to dream about different things. the downside is that if you daydream so much that the situations you create seem real you can almost become depressed with the life you have and might wish that you could do something to change it. but it also depends on what you daydream about, i love it and love the fact that i can be quite creative when dreaming.though, i don't think that anyone would understand what someone else dreams about(without it sounding silly or strange),we all daydream at one point or another. it's very healthy and does show uniqueness. it's wonderfully spectacular to discover what your mind can create. if your children often drift off into a daydream, you shouldn't worry but do try to get them back to reality every now and then, especially if it's getting in the way of schoolwork, friendships, activities, etc. but certainly don't try and stop it!!! that would be the most horrid thing in the world to do! dreaming is the birthplace of goals in life, creativity, and all things not known to us. this may have sounded silly, but it's what i truly believe and it's terribly hard to put into words how important dreaming is.
Name:
Kathy,
Country: USA
my son is basically being punished for daydreaming in his 3rd grade class. the teacher seams very frustrated and he is being humiliated in front of his peers for daydreaming. i feel if she understood what daydreaming is all about she would take a different route in dealing with this problem.
Name:
Bob,
Country: Australia
i have a terrible experince with a daydreaming problem .i had this problem since i was 12 but still this problem is with me i cant control it .i am 31 years old now .now i cant concenterate with every aspect of my day to day activities please help me out of this problem.
Name:
melissa,
Country: England
im doing my gcse's at the moment and as my school is very acedemic and i quite creative i get put down all the time classed as thick. i daydream alot of the time and miss out on what is being said.but i've just been told i can pass my art music and english gcse with a's so im happy now but i'm still being bullied by teachers but hey isn't daydreaming there to conquer them out!!!
Name:
holmesmicrosweet@aol.com,
Country: USA
my 10yr old son from the time he enter school,teacher keep telling me your so daydreams and dont stay focus in class. it's not that he's not learning but it's botter line in school because of it. i'm sick of the teaching telling me your son dont stay focus and daydreams alot but when he's focus he does great work.
now it's cousing a problem because she said she may leave him back if he dont pass the reading test because of it. i need so help on this one. my husband tell me it's because i have him in a sport.that meet after school mon.fri.we sit and do homework before the class.and he enjoy the sport.so tell me if you feel this is causing him to drop in class.
Name:
michelle,
Country: Other
thank god i'm not alone, i'm also a daydreamer. and i've always wanted to write, as a hobby and i play sort of like movies in my head where i'm the protagonist. i thought i was the only one doing that, ever since i was little i would daydream alot and like act out scenes but now that i'm older i don't but i still daydream mostly when i'm bored, or when i fall asleep.
Name:
Iona,
Country: England
my son, who is 8 months old daydreams upto 5-10 times a day, and has done since he was born. i know that this isn't normal, so if it isn't, what is wrong with him and why does he do it. other people have said to try and curb it as early as possible, should i, or is it a gift.
Name:
faisah,
Country: Kenya
i am an addicted day dreamer ever since i was 12 yrs. old until now i still daydream usually every time i'm alone. i thought it is okey to day daydream a lot but today it's getting in my way and it already affected my studies. i cannot concentrate on my projects and i hate it.i want to stop my habitual daydreaming but i don't know where to start.
Name:
kat,
Country: Canada
daydreaming has been beneficial to me, because it inspired me to do certain things in my life, like travelling the world, to painting a painting and being spiritual. however, it has had its major disadvantages. for instance, by daydreaming about the future by the time the future does come, i have so many expectations that i tend to get disappointed, because reality did not follow the scenario that i spent days building and perfecting. when daydreaming about the past, i get carried away in analyzing a particular situation, sometimes in a negative way and after i can spend days thinking it over, when in fact what really happened could be much simpler.
