Is your libido ebbing? Sexologist
Dr. Vivek Jain offers a few solutions.
Isn't it surprising how, just when
we think our libido should be at its peak, it lets us down? (Pun intended!)
Why do we experience lulls in our libido? Like women, do men also have
some sort of rhythmic highs and lows? And what does one do to counter lack
Libido is defined as the 'psychic
drive of energy, especially that associated with the sexual instinct'.
A male's libido emerges as part of the growth spurt at adolescence, and
is an essential component of the emotional maturity one develops at this
stage. Sexual longings, self-consciousness and an acute awareness of the
opposite sex, replace the docile nature of childhood. With the onset of
adolescence, the teenager is flooded with sexual feelings that are difficult
to channel. There emerges a curiosity about the sex organs, which is completely
natural. Both boys and girls are eager to gain access to sexual literature
and any information they can get their hands on.
The first sexual intercourse experience
usually occurs in early adulthood. It is this first experience, that determines
to a large extent, the framework for future sexual behaviour.
In the first few years of marriage,
sexual activity is often high, and pleasure, intense. Slowly as years go
by, often couples stop looking at sex as a pleasure-giving activity, and
begin to see it more as a chore. One slowly reaches the stage where it
becomes a challenge to have an exciting sex life after a certain number
of years. Extraneous and intrinsic factors, such as birth of children,
work commitments, non-sexual aspects of marriage, decreased attractiveness
due to age or lack of interest in one's own body etc, start exerting influences.
How well one vibes with one's partner is another major player. Right from
any form of dislike for the partner (body odour, behavioural aspects…)
to any major interpersonal conflict, all tell on the libido.
Matters of chance such as injuries
and fractures, minor illnesses like the common cold or serious illnesses
like jaundice and typhoid, not only during the acute phase but also during
convalescence, render sexual desire dormant. If either partner suffers
from a chronic disorder like diabetes or hypertension (especially if combined
with obesity), the couple might as well give 'mind-blowing sex' a goodnight
Then there's the 'chronic fatigue
syndrome', which is commonplace amongst those leading jetsetting lifestyles.
Stress, of late, is also a major
libido-killing factor. Unknown to the individual, stress it gnaws away
at a person's health, immunity, sleep and diet.
Addictive interests such as watching
too much television, sitting at the computer for hours and hours at a time,
also contribute to a decreased libido. Medical causes having a direct bearing
on the desire front are depression and schizophrenia as these disorders
target the centers in the brain where sexual urges actually take birth.
Similarly, many of the pills that
one pops at the doc's orders could have the lullaby effect. Antihypertensives
(atenolol and lisinopril have a proven bad record), antacids and some of
the ayurvedic preparations are common culprits. Excessive intake of alcohol
over a period of time, and smoking, can also kill the libido.
Some surefire ways to increase the
Although the sex drive declines with
age, the rate and extent of this decline is often exaggerated. In fact,
desire and capacity for intercourse are often retained well into old age.
When lack of desire itself is a player, one may require professional counseling.
However, a detailed self-analysis and introspection is often more than
enough to pinpoint the problem and sort it out. Have a frank and a heart
to heart with your partner, discuss possible reasons for your decreased
desire, and work together at increasing your sexual desire.
Reduce intake of alcohol.
Exercise. With increased fitness, one's
libido gets a boost.
Dr. Vivek Jain MD (Sexologist)
102 Aushadh Chambers,
GUJARAT - INDIA
Ph: 0265 2410907