When you do not have a line of support it is all but natural
that you would fall into depression. The situation gets extremely tough both
emotionally and financially when you lose your spouse. And when you know that
the responsibility of rearing the child, assuring him a good future along with
meeting the expenses of the entire family, the single
parent often suffer from bouts of high tension and depression.
How Does it Start?
Depression is a state that can befall anyone when you are
emotionally not equipped to deal with crises. Still when you are assured that
you have someone to fall back on, you can still fight it out. But in a
difficult situation where you are left to fight it out alone; depression is not
really easy to get out of. It is a sickness that needs to be identified first
and then in order to get cured of it there is a requirement of an emotional support.
The first step is to identify and realise that you are into depression.
While you are so engaged and engrossed in thinking about how to raise the
child, and you are also constantly thinking of securing and arranging for the
family income. You have difficulties and when you have no one to share or
discuss it, you feel isolated and eventually depressed. Most of the times we do
not require material support, all that we need is the assurance that we are not
alone and there is some one to stand by in times of need. In a situation where
you have lost your spouse, you are emotionally more vulnerable and even the
littlest of difficulty shakes you up.
Causes of Depression
Apart from rearing the child and thinking about the income,
the other common factors that add to the depression of a single parent are self
dissatisfaction emanating from the idea that you are not doing justice to your
innate abilities or talent as you are tied down to your family
responsibilities. Then there can also be guilt just due to the opposite reason
that is, when you feel that you should do justice to your talent and stay
The guilt follows from the fact that you realise that you
are not doing enough to keep your child happy by staying with him during his
growing up years. A single parent can also feel depressed with the everyday
chores of the life, she or he might feel that shouldering all the responsibilities
is too much on him or her and constantly misses the spouse that could have been
a helping hand to him.
How Do you Deal with Depression?
In a depressed state it is extremely important that you find
support. This can be a family member or a close friend in whose company you
feel comfortable. A single parent finds it difficult to seek this support as
they have this inbuilt belief that no one can take the position of the spouse.
Here a little bit of understanding is required, it is not suggested that you
begin to take the other person as a substitute for your spouse.
No one can take the position of someone you have lost. But
try to feel comfortable in the company of a person who has always been close to
you and seek his or her help when you know that you are finding it difficult to
deal with the situation. You will be happy to find that the other person is
also equally eager to help you out.
It is necessary to realise the importance of having an
outlet. It is important to take correct decisions regarding the development and
future of your child as well as your own career
and employment choices and not to forget the need to secure the future and well
being of your family. Depression can easily be fought out when you learn to
focus on positive things. As you ponder over them you will naturally feel good