For three-year old Esha, and her exasperated mother, bedtime is battle time. Despite various efforts of her mother, Esha just refuses to go to bed in time. The daily battle ends when Eshas tired parents fall asleep, and the child still remains awake. This scenario is common in many households. Parents end up getting late in the morning schedule due to their late nights. The late nights become even more disturbing when the child outgrows the pre-school age. The household has to try very hard to change the childs schedule after the morning school starts. Therefore it is very important to inculcate the habit of sleeping in time at a very young age. Experts feel that the key to put an end to bedtime battles lies in understanding why your child resists sleep. In this articleSeparation FearEntertainment ActivityBondingAfternoon NapEstablish RoutinesNo StimulationLimit TelevisionAvoid Caffine-based FoodOffer RewardsRemove The FearAvoid Making Them Sleep Separately From Very Young AgeEncourage Physical Activity During The DayKeep Him Away From Afternoon NapThere could be many reasons : Separation Fear: Many children sleep away from their parents, either in different rooms or on a separate bed. So they may treat sleeping as separation from their parents, and hence try to postpone the sleeping time as much as possible. Entertainment Activity: They might be longing for some other source of fun like a favourite television programme. Bonding: Specially for children of working mothers, night time is the only relaxed time with the mom. As a result, the child postpones sleep in order to share time with her. Afternoon Nap: Some children, especially pre-schoolers tend to sleep in the afternoon. So they do not feel tired in the night and are too fresh for another nap. To get to the root of your childs sleep resistance, and to make bedtime less combative, you need to consider lot of factors. Establish Routines: Fix up a pre-bedtime routine and adhere to it. Taking a bath, brushing teeth, reading bedtime stories are normal comfortable routines. It makes your child psychologically prepared for sleep. Once your childs mind gets accustomed to a particular schedule, he/she will automatically feel sleepy at that time everyday. Children of all ages function best when they follow consistent bedtime routine. No Stimulation: Avoid any physical play during an hour before bedtime. Any such activity increases childs mental and physical alertness Limit Television: Shut down television, music systems half an hour before sleep. If any person is watching TV or listening to music even in the other room, the child may not want to go to bed. Strict instructions should be given to elder siblings for following these rules. Avoid Caffine-based Food: Avoid giving any chocolates, colas from dinner time onwards as it has got stimulating effect on the body and keeps the child away from sleep. Offer Rewards: You can tell your child that if he/she is ready for bed before time, there will be time for an additional story. If the child adheres to the routine, reward him with either a toy or a movie of his/her choice . These incentives encourage them to follow the sleeping routine diligently. Remove The Fear: Many children have fear of darkness. They do not like the idea of putting off the lights. Help them to clear the fear associated with darkness. Ghost stories, mysteries should not be told to the children at all as it may add to their fears. Have a light chat with your child at night. Avoid Making Them Sleep Separately From Very Young Age: The child feels secure in the company of parents at night. Until the child attains optimum level of understanding and confidence about sleeping separately, do not force him into it. Create a confidence in him first and then let him sleep independently. Forcing him can create hatred and unhappiness in his mind. Encourage Physical Activity During The Day: There should be at least some form of physical exercise for your child during the day. It promotes good appetite and health. Through such activity the child gets tired and feels sleepy at night. Keep Him Away From Afternoon Nap: The child should be kept away from afternoon nap by keeping him engaged in some favourite activity. There will be resistance from him for few days. But once he is accustomed to not sleeping during the day, his body will get tuned to the changed cycle. All these solutions are not exhaustive. You must come up with your own original ideas.
For three-year old Esha, and her exasperated mother, bedtime is battle time. Despite various efforts of her mother, Esha just refuses to go to bed in time. The daily battle ends when Esha's tired parents fall asleep, and the child still remains awake. This scenario is common in many households. Parents end up getting late in the morning schedule due to their late nights. The late nights become even more disturbing when the child outgrows the pre-school age. The household has to try very hard to change the child's schedule after the morning school starts. Therefore it is very important to inculcate the habit of sleeping in time at a very young age. Experts feel that the key to put an end to bedtime battles lies in understanding why your child resists sleep.
Many children sleep away from their parents, either in different rooms or on a separate bed. So they may treat sleeping as separation from their parents, and hence try to postpone the sleeping time as much as possible.
Entertainment Activity:
They might be longing for some other source of fun like a favourite television programme.
Bonding:
Specially for children of working mothers, night time is the only relaxed time with the mom. As a result, the child postpones sleep in order to share time with her.
Afternoon Nap:
Some children, especially pre-schoolers tend to sleep in the afternoon. So they do not feel tired in the night and are too fresh for another nap.
To get to the root of your child's sleep resistance, and to make bedtime less combative, you need to consider lot of factors.
Establish Routines:
Fix up a pre-bedtime routine and adhere to it. Taking a bath, brushing teeth, reading bedtime stories are normal comfortable routines. It makes your child psychologically prepared for sleep. Once your child's mind gets accustomed to a particular schedule, he/she will automatically feel sleepy at that time everyday. Children of all ages function best when they follow consistent bedtime routine.
No Stimulation:
Avoid any physical play during an hour before bedtime. Any such activity increases child's mental and physical alertness
Limit Television:
Shut down television, music systems half an hour before sleep. If any person is watching TV or listening to music even in the other room, the child may not want to go to bed. Strict instructions should be given to elder siblings for following these rules.
Avoid Caffine-based Food:
Avoid giving any chocolates, colas from dinner time onwards as it has got stimulating effect on the body and keeps the child away from sleep.
Offer Rewards:
You can tell your child that if he/she is ready for bed before time, there will be time for an additional story. If the child adheres to the routine, reward him with either a toy or a movie of his/her choice . These incentives encourage them to follow the sleeping routine diligently.
Remove The Fear:
Many children have fear of darkness. They do not like the idea of putting off the lights. Help them to clear the fear associated with darkness. Ghost stories, mysteries should not be told to the children at all as it may add to their fears. Have a light chat with your child at night.
Avoid Making Them Sleep Separately From Very Young Age:
The child feels secure in the company of parents at night. Until the child attains optimum level of understanding and confidence about sleeping separately, do not force him into it. Create a confidence in him first and then let him sleep independently. Forcing him can create hatred and unhappiness in his mind.
Encourage Physical Activity During The Day:
There should be at least some form of physical exercise for your child during the day. It promotes good appetite and health. Through such activity the child gets tired and feels sleepy at night.
Keep Him Away From Afternoon Nap:
The child should be kept away from afternoon nap by keeping him engaged in some favourite activity. There will be resistance from him for few days. But once he is accustomed to not sleeping during the day, his body will get tuned to the changed cycle.
All these solutions are not exhaustive. You must come up with your own original ideas.
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I know it is still not a very acceptable thing in India to make your kids sleep seperately. My daughter is 4 years and she is sleeping sep.Is it ok.Wht is your opinion ? Will it hurt the kid in any way ?
my son is five and half years old. likes dancing and singing but is not ready to learn it from professionals. does not want to join any classes for it. what should i do.
putting my son to sleep ius a real battle. he is just a year old but refuses to go to sleep. in fact he gets more active as it gets cvloser to night time. i have tried many things, right from giving him hot milk beofre betdtime, to gviving him a bath, and even tiring him ouyt by playing for a long time in the garden, but nothing seems to work. what should i do? help!
i agree with you menka. my daughter is just three months ols and just does not want to sleep. we rock her, sing to her and even damnce for her ... she ofcourse loves all that ... and then the minute we dim the lights she starts bawling! either she is scared of the dark, or of being put to sleep, don't know what.
small babies especially months old are more tender and wud feel more secure in mothers lap if your baby doesnot sleep even when u rock her ..try this! take one old soft cotton saree spread it evenly in four or five folds as per the saree and put your abby in that wrap him so that it is cozy and if u have any hanger to your ceiling better hang it using a rope and then craddle him or else you swing him using sare with you own hands it works wonders i have been using this trick for my 4month old iam ale to put her to sleep
hi 2 all
this is 4 menka. i have 11 mnth baby & i'm working.near 2 baby's sleeping time i make her supper like khichdi,dal-rice ready & her papa massages her whole body with oil,scalp massage at the end, which starts making her drowsy,then i take her in my lap & feed her supper.by d time her food is over she's almost asleep, final touch is my rocking her on my shoulder, helping her 2 burp down her food & a relaxing & cosy feel in my lap, & there she is fallen sound sleep, try this with ur modifications , hope it'll work.
hi 2 all...my daughter is 4yr old...and from the very begining i followed a rutine which is dinner at 8.30 and going to bed at 9 pm sharp...and touch wood till now sssshe gave me no problem regarding sleep.and she takes a small nap in the afternoon also otherwise she feels drowsy and irritated from the evening.
we have only son 10 years old. he has interest in tabla and singing and we made him join these classes. we observe that the day on which he riyaz perfectly he takes interest in his studies also. he is good in art also we send for art classes also twice a week we found more chages in him he has become now more confident.he good in studies. but sometimes get confused what should be continued is it going to help him, further
very well written because you have identified all of the reasons some children will just not go to sleep. there is nothing more to be said, it's all right here. excellent job.
