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Behavioural Problems:Problem with my daughter.....
2004-05-14
Name: Mohan



Hello.I am 42 year old man who had been away from his wife(35) & daughter(15) since the last 4 years.In these years it has ony been once that I have been with them that was 2 ears before.Now it has been nearly 2 weeks since I have come forever with my family.I have found a good enough job here & have decided not to go back ever.I have missed some of my best days with my wife & my daughter.I have never as happy as this before &both my daughter & wife are also all the time smiling & laughing when with me.The only thing that has been bothering me or making me feel woried is my daughter's behaviour.I have always felt she is a bit too free with me physically.The first time when they saw me at the airport itself she pounced on me giving me a huge kiss on my lips.I was totally startled for a moment & my suitcase simply fell of my hands.I just looked at her eyes were filled wih tears & so was that of
my wife.From that day onwards this has never stopped.She always before going to sleep gives me that kiss.It was OK even if that was just a touch & go but she applies a lot of pressure & tries to suck in making a big noise.This is what me feel very bad.Even her dressing sense is strange at times.Whenever she wears a shirt in the house she has his habit of removing the last 3 buttons showing off her stomach just like that.She calls it as fashion.My wife feels it is OK becos she was only doing so before her parents & moreover stomach is not a private part of the body so it is OK.I dont understand this at all.Felling it very odd to tell it to my daughter I once even spoke about the kiss thing to my wife who thinks I was thinking a bit too much.It has been twice so far that she has changed her clothes right in the room in front of my wife & me when we were talking on something.Just 3 days before on my birthday before going to the office this happened.My daughter was half asleep when she got up to wish me.She just grabbed me with a big kiss & had the shock of my life.I almost lost my balance & fell on the bed as a result of which I had to just push her back.To my surprise I saw there was this shyish grin on her face.On the way to the office I kept on thinking in this & was felling terrible.I couldn't decide if it was because of her eary morning dreams that teenagers usually have at this age that she did it unknowingly or was it because of something else.In the night while I tried to talk to her on this she just blasted on me saying that if I keep fuzzing on these things would be very tough ahead.She apologised to me in the morning for having been so rude but I am still in a dire state of mind.May be it is because I am not adjusted as yet but still I think all that is hapenning is wrong & should stop for god sake.Sometimes I think I should get
adjusted to all this & sometimes I think I should stop it.Frankly speaking i think i am blessed to have ot such a lovely wife& daughter but it is just these small probs hapeneing that bother me a lot.Is there anyway I can stop the way things are going on or should I try & be a part of it.And above all is there anything realy wrong or am i overeacting or overthinking.Atlast I want to know is there anything really wrong.
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2004-10-05
#1
Anonymous Name: once a daddy's girl
Subject:  This too shall pass



hi,
I was once a daddy's little girl too. i use to hang on to him all day. i use to sleep beside him, eat food from his plate, even change before him. The situation was reverse after sometime though. After a certain age, I felt bad about my dad kissing me on the cheek and hugging me in front of my friends etc. I think your daughter is not as mature as she should be for her age, i mean mentally. you can talk to her about it and say that society will not like it. even though she will always be your baby, others will only look at her as a young woman. About the dress thing, you have to put a firm foot about dress codes. It is not only against the culture it is also dangerous for her. she will invite trouble if she dresses promiscuously. You are the father. you have a right to tell her what she wears. Infact do not let her go alone when she goes for shopping 4 clothes. You know what, all children are going to hate their parents at one point or other. they will come around later and will thank you for being stubborn about these issues. you are not over reacting. you are just a concerned parent. give urself a break.
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