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Behavioural Problems:Todd Behaviour

2004-05-06

Name: Sashi Hi Everyone,
I am very much disappointed with my 2year old toddler girl(Single child). She is very very active and free mixing girl.She is very obedient and listens to adults in my absence. She behaves well at Daycare. But the moment she sees me her behaviour changes. She will be aggressive and for one or the other reason she starts crying.And she doesn't want me to hold her at that time. She will fall on the floor and starts crying. I tried to divert her but she don't. I feel very shame infront of all other parents in the daycare.
I have to forcebly bring her to the car. Otherwise, she is very funloving girl and enjoys well at Daycare. At home also, if I say \";No\"; to anything she will fall on the floor. And she will continue that for atleast an hour. We tried to divert her and it didn't work and now we are just ignoring her. This too is not helping me.
She likes kids very much but she doesn't give them any toy. She holds all her toys and runs away. I spend most of the time(other than office time) with her reading books, telling stories and songing rhymes. She enjoys my company, If I am not at home she keeps on asking for me but she doesn't listen to me. Iam very much disappointed with her. Any tips to make her listen to me atleast sometimes ??
Any suggestions are precious. Thanks.

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Hi Everyone,
I am very much disappointed with my 2year old toddler girl(Single child). She is very very active and free mixing girl.She is very obedient and listens to adults in my absence. She behaves well at Daycare. But the moment she sees me her behaviour changes. She will be aggressive and for one or the other reason she starts crying.And she doesn't want me to hold her at that time. She will fall on the floor and starts crying. I tried to divert her but she don't. I feel very shame infront of all other parents in the daycare.
I have to forcebly bring her to the car. Otherwise, she is very funloving girl and enjoys well at Daycare. At home also, if I say \";No\"; to anything she will fall on the floor. And she will continue that for atleast an hour. We tried to divert her and it didn't work and now we are just ignoring her. This too is not helping me.
She likes kids very much but she doesn't give them any toy. She holds all her toys and runs away. I spend most of the time(other than office time) with her reading books, telling stories and songing rhymes. She enjoys my company, If I am not at home she keeps on asking for me but she doesn't listen to me. Iam very much disappointed with her. Any tips to make her listen to me atleast sometimes ??
Any suggestions are precious. Thanks. wafia replied. Dear Shashi,
I feel that whenever your child rolls on the floor and cries you should do any of the following and see if it works
1)play on her favorite song
2)tell her some sentence in the story or joke for which she had laughted aloud
3)simply take her toy phone and do as though u are calling her favorite friend in daycare or aunti of daycare with the name and say that 'your daughter eg x is doing exercise and dance on the floor would u like to see the same and then continue saying oh yes pls come x is remembering you
4)whatever toy she likes the most do the same to that toy after your daughter gets back to her mood and ask your daughter that your doll is crying on the floor what shall we do, on this your daughter will give you suggestion and maybe she might go and console the doll and you can see how she does it

I am sure she will slowly stop her act if you can make her laugh whenever she is into this act and then you can talk to her and make her understand.

I tried such things when my daughter was a year old and now also I have to enact to her if she becomes adamant on certain things.

See if it works
Best Wishes

2004-05-14

Name: wafia
Subject:

Dear Shashi,
I feel that whenever your child rolls on the floor and cries you should do any of the following and see if it works
1)play on her favorite song
2)tell her some sentence in the story or joke for which she had laughted aloud
3)simply take her toy phone and do as though u are calling her favorite friend in daycare or aunti of daycare with the name and say that 'your daughter eg x is doing exercise and dance on the floor would u like to see the same and then continue saying oh yes pls come x is remembering you
4)whatever toy she likes the most do the same to that toy after your daughter gets back to her mood and ask your daughter that your doll is crying on the floor what shall we do, on this your daughter will give you suggestion and maybe she might go and console the doll and you can see how she does it

I am sure she will slowly stop her act if you can make her laugh whenever she is into this act and then you can talk to her and make her understand.

I tried such things when my daughter was a year old and now also I have to enact to her if she becomes adamant on certain things.

See if it works
Best Wishes

2005-07-18

Name: yr
Subject:

very tough to handle when by 21/2yr son cries

wafia,
i read ur mail and found tht it was very useful. i also need ur advise. my son is also of similar character. sometimes he starts crying for little things and is very stubborn. he get so angry for little things and would not stop crying for more 2 hrs. and so. he does the same in the night. all of a sudden he wakes up from sleep and starts crying. i finding a few things very very strange. he loves to play in water and take bath but would not let me clean his nose and when iclean his nose. he starts crying and says put it back in my nose. when i go to toilet. he refused to get down from me and does not let me go away from him for even few seconds. when i forcibly leave him and go to toilet, he says go back to the toilet and dont come out. i dont want u and keeps crying for really long. he hits and bites when he is in such mood. becoz he's misbehaving a lot i hit him very badly, since i'm just not able to control him. i always try talking very politely and try to distract his mood and finally give up and hit him really hard. is it becoz of this kind of behaviour of mine, is he also getting into violet behaviour. i'm really upset and dont know how to handle my son. even in the night all of a sudden he'll wake up from his sleep and starts cryng and will not listen to what we are trying to talk to him. he just doesnt listen and keeps crying. from past 3 weeks he;s not been eating properly and sleeping properly becoz he had a viral fever 2 weeks back. he's like eating only one apple and 2 sapotas and 1/2 upof milk for one full day which is really less and he's not sleeping properly. yesterday again when he refused to eat and i got really wild and threw him on the bed and even before i could react he says you hit me how much ever u want but i wont eat. i'm very loving and very very playful and extremely affectiionate to him but hit him hard and scream badly at him when he misbehaves-is it wrong. is it becoz of me my son has become very violent. earlier he used to behave properly when my husband raises his voice once but now he's not scared of him either. nothing works when he's in the crying mood. my husband says that my son is getting abnormal and we need to check with a physcologist. but i cant accept with what he says. what i feel is that my son is very stubborn but not abnormal. what should i do.

2004-06-07

Name: Sashi
Subject:

Thanks

Wafia, Thank you very muck. It really worked when I say "your doll is also crying, she has tears in her eyes". She stopped crying for a moment and listened to what I say. That one minute gave me sufficient time to divert her telling some stories about her doll.
Once again thank you .

2004-05-17

Name: Sashi
Subject:

Thanks

Thanks Wafia. I hope this helps me.
I will follow your suggestions.

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