Parents of Schoolgoers  Discussion Forum

well me and dh were having finical probs so we had to move in with mil and fil. I hate living with them my mil is sooooo NOSEY b/c my dh was having probs he told me to leave I packed my bags then he cried after talking to mil and begged me to stay (so i did) We really love each other ALOT but I hate staying here b/c fil all he does is yell fuss and gripe about things all night and day :( I wish I knew someone going threw what I do. I hope we move soon :( shann replied. you all gave me hope
Hosai replied. All praise be to our Creator who created us and gave us everything we have. All glory be to God who will never burden us with more than we can bear, and who gives us relief after every struggle. I read your email, and my heart goes out to you. I know what you are going through, and believe me, I understand. My husband and I are also looking to go stay with them at the present due to financial difficulties, and believe me, I wish we did not have to. Sometimes, it makes you sad just thinking about it, why some inlaws have to be so cold and rejecting, you know? If by God's will, they just change the condition of their heart and be more accepting and kind, the world would be a better place. It would be for the good of everyone, for me, for you, and for the inlaws themselves. Everyone would be happier and get along better if only they would change their feelings, just switch the conditon of their hearts, just like that, \";click\"; and things would be so much better. But only God can change their heart, and all we can do is just pray for that and be patient. I came on this website not knowing what to expect, not knowing what was out there and if anyone understood what I was going through as a daughter-in-whatever-you-call-it-I-hate-and don't use the word.Most of my friends 99 and 1/2% of the few friends I have all have wonderful inlaws and it kills me that mine have to be so aweful, and it makes you feel terrible, and so alone like no one understands. I had no idea REAL PEOPLE are going through REAL CRISIS like me, and you with struggling with living with the inlaws. It feels better to know people are out there who understand you and feel your pain. It makes the burden of carrying all that grief and pain with you feel lighter. I just wish I knew a friend in my locality that could relate versus the web, that would so great. But all praise be to God for everything I have already, and we all have. Anyway,I have not moved in yet with my inlaws, but we are seriously considering to do so real soon. If God wills, it will no more than two years. But if we'll move out if we really really can't stand it. One thing I have learned in all this, is that it's all in God's hands, all of this, and the best thing is to be patient, pray that it gets better, pray for patience to sustain you, and just not LOOK FORWARD TO MAKING PEACE AND NOT HOPE SO MUCH. Hope hurts cause it lets you down a lot. And for some reason, the inlaws are \";strong\"; and they can forbear the meanness on their parts, and do it wish a passion, without feeling any guilt or remorse, and if we accept their nature, that it is in them, to be this hard and tough on loving than maybe by God's will we can understand our ownselves better. Since mother-in-laws seem to have it so easy, always having their way, and making you feel so puny, then o well. Let them and forget them, and LET GO. Don't expect any change, and just accept their physical presence but don't attach your heart and your mind and your soul to them at all, so you don't get let down and hurt when something bad happens. That is what I have learned. To let go, and sadly...make your heart hard towards them so the hurt does not saturate your entire heart. Just live with them for your own benifit for God's sake, and don't personally attribute anything to them. -- Anyway, I know this is not easy, and everyone's situation is different. But I am just expressing some sincere advice, and letting off some of my own grief. I hope this message affects someone in a positive note if God wills. Also if anyone lives in the Virginia area email me, it would be so nice to have a support group or a bunch of girls who could get together once in a while or ALL THE TIME cause you know sometimes you just need it, and just vent all this stuff out.

All this has taught me to really on God, and really, only God can change any of this. God has control over our lives, and our inlaws, and God created them like God created us, and God can destroy them anytime. This is not the end of the line, life does go on, even if it goes on painfully, it moves on.

Personally, I think the best kind of husband to have is the God-fearing kind. That way he will never disobey you to obey his parents, he will never do you INJUSTICE while giving them justice, cause this is not the way of God and God would not be pleased with this. What makes my situation different is basically that. That my husband fears God, and he acts and lives only for God's sake, and God's laws are the most JUST so everyone gets the benifit, even the inlaws, without making you feel trapped or bothered, or stepped on. I wish your husband was like that, because then you would not feel like he was more siding with them over you, and ready to do anything for them, while it's killing you. When you do things for God's sake, when your are strong that, no one gets hurt, so long as you accept God's will, and rules. It's much better this way, than just doing as you feel and wish is right. You can't trust your heart, and God always knows better.

I am really sorry you are going through this, and hope God guides you both. I don't wanna live with my inlaws at all, but sometimes you have no choice. But I always remember that God will never put me through something I can't handle, and with every struggle, comes relief.

So hold on. We all are. You're not alone. God-willingly you will pull through. Many daughter-in-laws in the past have pulled through, and God-willingly you will do. This road is meant to be taken, and meant to be beaten God-willingly. And remember this life is not forever. It is not the end of the road. And none of this drama will mean anything at the end. So stay focused, and don't give up.



May God guide us, and give us relief soon.

COTACT ME
muslim AT wapda DOT com I believe replied. Hi there,
Alla I can say is that this will pass soon. I have lived with inlaws for three and half years in one room full of six people sometimes. An alcoholic father in law who would only bad mouth us and our kid and we managed to live from day to day. I can understand your pain and will pray that od give you strength to go thru with this trying time. Maybe talking to your husband will get you some relief, after all he owes you some listening too after all you go thru for his sake. Pray and hang in there. And remember that a good day will dawn soon. Hope you get to move soon, until then remember that there are people who understand your pain and are praying for you. All the best.