Parents of Schoolgoers  Discussion Forum

Dear friends,
I need your suggestion regarding this:
My husband has an older brother.I just fail to understand his behaviour.We've had a love marriage.He kept telling his parents,\";Had I wanted I would also have married a working girl of my own choice but just b'coz I thought about you i didn't\";.Saying this again and again and I don't know what else he has gained hazzar sympathy of my inlaws.He had joined a new job in bangalore so had shifted from delhi to b'lore and was staying with us. He was supposed to look for a flat and then bring his family. But after staying for 2 months he got his family also at our place.Then my husband stared telling him in a very polite way to look for a flat, b'coz we also don't have a very big house. But every time he used to reject it finding some fault or the other.He had a plan to find a new job somewhere abroad and I think because of this he thought why should he unnecessarily invest in a flat. But after 4 months my husband took him to a flat where he couldn't find any fault and he had to take it.My inlaws were very angry with us after that.They told my husband that it was our duty to keep his elder brother's family and we just turned them out. But God knows we had never talked rudely to them. My brother-in-law even returned the gift my husband had got for his child.But funny enough they behave and talk very politely when their parents are around.They deliberately provoke my husband to say something when they are around.But my inlaws won't just listen.Whenever my husband tries to say something they take his elder brother's side and say \";aisa bolne ka uska kuch reason hoga\";. Now this really has made my husband very cutoff from his parents and his brother althouth occasionally he does call up.Now for all these they blame me.I have never told anything to anybody but they believe that I m the cause of everything.Now that my FIL has taken VRS recently now all his love is showing towards us.Actually the elder son has moved to S'pore and we are the only ones left here.I don't know what to do and how to react.Please help
somya replied. Dear raina,
Thanx for your reply.Actually I think I haven't made the picture very clear in the end.The thing is now that he has taken VRS, even after behaving this way with me now that their favorite son and daughter-in-law have gone abroad they want to come and stay with us.And they are expecting us to ask them to come and stay with us.They keep saying had \";Siddu\"; been here he would have definitely called us.This is the thing which is actually troubling me.I don't know how to face them when they call up expecting a very pleasant reaction from me.Because according to them they have done nothing wrong.It's we who have committed a crime.Can u please suggest me as to what i should do? somya replied. Dear raina,
Thanx for your reply.Actually I think I haven't made the picture very clear in the end.The thing is now that he has taken VRS, even after behaving this way with me now that their favorite son and daughter-in-law have gone abroad they want to come and stay with us.And they are expecting us to ask them to come and stay with us.They keep saying had \";Siddu\"; been here he would have definitely called us.This is the thing which is actually troubling me.I don't know how to face them when they call up expecting a very pleasant reaction from me.Because according to them they have done nothing wrong.It's we who have committed a crime.Can u please suggest me as to what i should do? raina replied. God has a way of making things work out. your brotherinlaw was making things difficult for you and in general being a trouble maker, and now he's shifted to Singapore and is out of your life. thank god! be thankful. many peole have to live with such in-laws in the same house. at least u dont have to do that!! dont worry if your husband and his brother are not close.. its better to keep a formal distance than it is to be the best of friends and then backbite or fight and break off. meet up on brithdays and marriages, and forget about him. lead your own life with your own family.