Parents of Schoolgoers  Discussion Forum

I'm a 24 year old married woman, born and raised in Canada. My problem is I married my husband three years ago, and we moved in with his parents. We now have a daughter who is almost 2. My mother in law treats me like a slave. Before the baby came, and when the baby was small, she kept saying go to work, I will take care of the baby, go make money, start paying me rent. Now, I have gone back to work, and she doesn't watch my daughter at all. I work from home, and she doesn't even bother helping. I have to get up at 4 in the morning to start work and get as much as i can done before my daughter gets up. Now i don't mind this, I can take care of my own daughter. But I am also cleaning the house everyday for almost three hours, with my daughter sitting next to me, while mother in law sleeps till 4 in the afternoon. I wouldn't have to clean so much if these people knew how to live, but they just leave their dishes everywhere, and they don't put their clothes away, they are real slobs, so I find myself running after them picking up their garbage. My mother in law takes advantage, because I don't have a mother, and she keeps saying, you can't do work for your mother, i'm the only mother you have now. Hubby, has been great, he switched jobs to work night shift so he can help during the day, and he fights with them so much to tell them to respect me, or at least clean a bit so I am not doing everything, they keep saying that is dil job, if i don't like it i shouldn't have gotten married. please help Anu replied. Jasmin

I agree with Shazia...Please do yourself and your baby a favour. Why should you put up with all this crap? Such people neither deserve you nor your respect and definitely not your company. Its good that you have a supportive husband. You two need to discuss this seriously. Moreover, this is not the right atmosphere for your child to grow up in.
Just pack your bags and say goodbye! cd replied. Jasmine, I am happy for you, you have atleast your husband's support for you!

there are so many DILS who sail in the same boat, but who have to go back to ungrateful husbands in the night!!

when your mother-in-law gives you such crap, about you not having your own mom and she making up for he, ask her did her son clean up like that after her too since he was born? your own mom, i wish i could come and give your 'mom' a piece of my mind.

if things come too much onto you, you have to make a decision.
do you want to suffer on in your youth like this when you can have a life with your husband and be tormented about it for years to come?

or you want to be strong and get yourself a life?

sit down with the family for a talk. you and your husband outline the plan, what is expected of you, what you will do and what they can do to help.

also remember if you be too much dependant on them, they will run the house for you.

so be frank and tell them you ant take so much of the work, and while you want to continue working, you want the ILS to be of help.

if they agree to a sensible extent, fine, else tell your husband you are looking for an alternate housing arrangement. I am sure you can manage well on your own.

good luck, like life had to say, be strong and stand up for your rights. life replied. jasmin dear
my only one advice for you is to be STRONG. Yes you need to suffer and destroy ur life as u are doing currently. From today onwards make it a point that you will lead a happy life. But my only one advice is to take one step at a time. Please note that you cannot change yourself within a day neither others. Start making small small changes in your daily schedule. See your daughter's face and try to be happy. Just dont give any kind of interest to your MIL if she is troubling you at the same time u need to show atmost respect and love when she is talking or doing good things for you.
I wish u all the best