Parents of Schoolgoers  Discussion Forum

Friends, My MIL is one amongst the most manipulative lady and wants to keep both her husband and my husband in her control. During every week's call she cries with my hubby and emotionally blackmail him by telling him how much she has done for his studies bla bla and she tells there is no body to take care of her inspite of another son being there with her. Tell me wont our parents have done same thing for our studies and well being. This nature of her's is irritating and I find it very funny when my husband just listens without correcting her. I am married for 3 years and earlier i was also being bakra for this guilt emotional trips but now-a-days i dont care and i just change the topic bluntly. But I cannot stand my husband's silence when this weekly drama is on
Pls help me as to how will I find peace of mind within myself for her acts
thanks augustborn replied. Similar story! The only difference is that instead of the MIL, its the FIL who takes my husband to this guilt trip.
Ritu replied. My story is the same . It has been drilled into my husbands brain so much that he quotes how much his mother has done for him to me !!!!! Gosh its so painful . I have explained so many times that so have my parents and every parent in the world but its no use . He is beyond reasoning on this issue .
So my advise is ... dont let this repeat again and again . Do something to put a stop to it .
Hema Guide replied. Hey all
I really thank u for posting ur views to my question. I have realised one thing in 3 years of marriage (may be this is short compared to some ofyour's) that there is no point talking to her and making her convince anything. Just stubborn silence is the answer for everything atleast in my case. I really believed in chaning things by talking but not with this lady. She will remember my words and keep taunting me with the same words sometime or the other.
Anyways I am hoping to see some more views on this question of mine
thank u all..... a dil replied. Hi guide,
I can so much relate my story with yours. My MIL also does the same stuff. Crying and making us feel guilty for all what she has done. Giving birth to her son and raising him for 29 yrs! (As if she is the only one who has done these things!!!)
Moreover she feels that its only her son who is staying away from her and that too because of the DIL. But the thing is that her son was staying abroad long time before the marriage. But dont know whom she used to make the scapegoat of her taunts and misdemeanor that time.
I am just fed up of this blackmail and sometimes feel so sorry for myself too.
I think just by changing the topic this weekly/daily drama of all MILs won't come to an end. There should be something very concrete we (DILs) should do in order to end this whole episode. I am also waiting for replies from others.
Good luck to you! Hana replied. If your MIL doesn't live with you, you don't have an issue because you don't have to see her day to day. Your husband will eventually get tired of her sob stories, I'm telling you from experience men get irritated by the same old stories. What you are doing by changing the subject is perfect. Don't say anything to her, she might just be waiting for you to say something to her to create trouble in your marriage. And your husband will also respect you more for not getting involved. Let mother and son sort it out, after all she says she sacrificed so much for him right... not for you! P replied. Hi there,

What a situation! Buddy why don't you do just the opposite. Next time such a topic comes up...start praising her...tell Mummyji you are great and no mother (parents) have done it before for their son (baby!)....tell her how grateful & burdened you & her son feels about the whole thing....BUT mention that you would repay all this by doing the same things with your kid! You would spend money on him/ her, on their studies & blah, blah.....

I hope she gets the hint loud & clear

Regards,
p cd replied. hi guide. irritating isnt it? sometimes it helps me good if i have an witty retort and i answer back good. not impolitely but a reply which ends topic then and there!
next time, tell your husband.all parents do that, its their duty to do when they bring a child into this world. but it is noway their right to demand service in retuen! this is not LIC or somesuch scheme!!
if you MIL tells you this, tell her, so have my parents, should i leave all and go back to them?
its not like you have left abandoned them in a jungle or something..
tell your MIL so is life, my children will leave house after i put in so much effort into their lives, but i am not going to demand thta service back! its so shameful. niyathi replied. u know what when i read ur post, i could not control laughing, not because i m happy, but i liked the way u wrote it, too good, and i must say u r very strong lady, hats off to u.

even while writing reply i m laughing,
u r strong lady, if i was in ur situation then i would just walk of the room when drama would be on, and if my hubby asks me to sit with him to watch that drama i would ask him not to involve me in that drama, nothing else i can help , but i liked the way u wrote it,