Parents of Schoolgoers  Discussion Forum

My in-laws are by themselves back in India. Their only child is married to me & we live abroad. They've taken voluntary retirement ever since their son found a job. Now they have all this free time & nothing else to do but feel sorry for themselves. They are not that old - 55ish. My MIL esp. is always giving me examples of how good some other DILs are. These DILs apparently speak their in-laws language & live them & love their in-laws. She always sends me on these guilt trips. Its not my fault that we live far from them. Plus they are surrounded with their relatives back in their own town. Everytime I talk to her she has something great to say about someone else. I also have examples of some very nice in-laws. Who shower their affection on their DILs. So far I haven't said a word, but would it be wise for me to do so?
I usually take good care of them when they are visiting us. But the MIL is very interfering in whatever we do. Always listening in our conversations & behaving like a usual immature MIL. They are not bad people. I have heard some horror stories on this site. So I will say, they haven't done anything outrageously crazy. Just regular stuff, viz., interfering, showing no consideration to my parents, coercing me to speak their language. Sometimes I feel strong & am able to look beyond these things. But most of the times I am very resentful of them. Recently she had a small medical condition. She volutarily admitted herself in the hospital. She kept saying, \";who is going to take care of me\";. So I asked her what exactly was needed to be done - some steaming & taking pills. I told her that her husband could do that as well. Then she said, no its hard to tell him, what to use etc. I thought it was complete bull. My mom had a major operation & my dad (although hes not very handy in the house), took care of her. And why can't the FILs help out at home. I told her plain & simple,\";I think its very important that every adult in the house is capable of doing chores inside & outside the house\";. Was I wrong in saying that? Thats how we manage here too. when I am sick, my husband takes charge & helps out. Why do they need a DIL to do stuff? If theres anything serious, I would go help them out without thinking twice.
They'll be here next week & I am very apprehensive about their trip. My MIL most likely is planning to spend a year with us. I hope that doesn't happen. xyz replied. hello,
I have almost the same problem. That we live abroad and My in-laws are alone by themselves. They feel so sorry for themseleves. Not that they are very old or have some serious health problem. But still they keep commenting on how I am not living with them and how other DILs are etc. etc.
I just hate all this comparison. I do my best to keep them happy. But seems no MIL can be happy with her DIL.
Its better we should try to ignore. Earlier I used to be very sad and used to cry a lot, but now I have learned my lesson and I just don't care.
So, I would suggest that we should try to ignore and live our lives, rather than getting caught in all this...