Parents of Schoolgoers  Discussion Forum

My MIL is a very calculative cruel working woman who easily manipulates my husband . She was extremely cruel to me during her trip here .My Husband becomes a puppet in front of her . I could describe to you in detail but it would be just crying over spilt milk and me getting teary and angry. Bottom line is I am unable to handle her so i keep quite and keep getting more and more hurt by her .
So my question to you is - how do I get her less and less involved in our lives ? please help . I dont want to meet her ever . I know it is being childish but I dont want to get more hurt . Its too too painful .
Second question is how do I get my husband not to hate me for not wanting to meet or speak to my MIL even on phone ?
help please yash replied. Hi

Suman and main post person seems to be awefully discontented with MIL.

It's not strange, MIL and DIL relation often is uncertain no matter how much each one try to make it better. MIL thinks my DIL does not behave/respect enough and DIL think it's different family and I only get hurt.

In the process both parts forget that you are two people from different family different bringing style. It would take a lot to make such relation look and work sweet.

You can try and understand husbands side as well. It would too selfish to expect him to stand only for you where as he was brought up by his parents, his mother was the first lady he confided in and he respects her as mother. You are also having mother and can understand situation. I mean usually problem lies at both side so in this type of relation very difficult to know who is to blame.

Try and not expect too much from your husband like not speaking to mother in law on telephone also, sure you want to rule his life. This is not a property that a healthy marriage bears and also too different from a co-operative wife. Co-operative wife would do like what Suman does. Try to avoid discussions and arguments but keep neutral talk continued, both you and your husband will be happy.
yash suman replied. Hi,
it is very difficult to avoid mom-in-law and in most cases husbands would want you to keep at least a minimum relationship.. i was also in a similar situation and was hurt badly... and my husband was also hurt but he still wanted me to call them and do sweet talking.. problem is husbands always expect a lot out of their wives.. i dont call my in-laws but when my husband does and i am around i just say hello to them and ask the general questions !! maybe you can do that much.. at least that will help you in keeping your husband on your side.
all the best suman replied. Hi,
it is very difficult to avoid mom-in-law and in most cases husbands would want you to keep at least a minimum relationship.. i was also in a similar situation and was hurt badly... and my husband was also hurt but he still wanted me to call them and do sweet talking.. problem is husbands always expect a lot out of their wives.. i dont call my in-laws but when my husband does and i am around i just say hello to them and ask the general questions !! maybe you can do that much.. at least that will help you in keeping your husband on your side.
all the best