Parents of Schoolgoers  Discussion Forum

hi friends

I am a regular visitor of this board, today i hope i could get some suggestions about the problem with my son. He is 2.9 yrs old, he is hyper active, he just cannot sit in one place.
We live in Singapore, i have put him in a play school 2 weeks back, he goes to school, but thefeedback from school is he is too hyper and he dosen' t not mingle with any children, which i understand will take some time, normally he dosen' t mix up with children, so i thought if i put him in school he wil be ok, the teacher says that is pulling down all the charts in the school , and if the teacher scold him he is beating her, he used to beat people about 3 months back, which i think i was spanking him before, then i realised i am making a mistake and completely stopped beating him, then i took him to India for 2 months for a holiday, after coming hack from India he started talking well and then if we go to meet other children in my friends house he did not beat them, so i thought he has changed, and was happy, but now i heard from the teacher he is beating kids there i am really very worried, the teacher also says he just cannot concentrate more than a minute in anything, and runs away, so in all these 2 weeks the teachers are having a hard time to manage him, nowdays i hug him a lot, and try to tell him he cannot be naughty in the school, he must be obedient, cannot touch the things there, he says ok ok, then going back to school it is the same story. Does he require any counselling or anything, i dont really know what to do,pls help me,i even told him i will buy toys or biscuits for him if he behaves well nothing seems to work. i tried all possible ways, today i just broke down after coming back from school, because of this reason i am depressed often, he was wearing daipers until 2 now also he dosent say if he want s to pass urine, but if i take him to the toilet he can pass every 1 hr. I can very well see his mind is distracted, he keep talking but he knows a lot of things, and grasps things well, when he was 2 he use to say alphabets, numbers 1-20, and all the spelling for many three letter words, u wont belive, but it seems he as forgotten everything, if i ask him he would just say ABC and runs away.He is bored of all that, he knows, all the colours, shapes, and he is trying to sing some of the rhymes and all but the misbehavious is the only problem, which i understand boys will norally have, but what i cannot take it is he is very different in the school, and dosen' t seem to learn anything . I am worried, does he require any couselling. Pls help me priya replied. I read your message.I live in U.k. The each and single thing you have mentioned in your message is happening to me with my three year old boy also.It looks just my story each and every word. can you pls suggest what did you do about it and How is your child doing now? Iam eager to know from you since the case is exactly same. anu replied. i read the article. u should coungselling may be he is a attention seeker u try find some counsellor, i found he is very intelligent so please visit to counsellor definately u will get the solution. Lavanya replied. Hi vidhya
I read your article. I feel your kid is hyperactive.you need to check with a good peadiatrician for this. He would suggest a good remedy. before browsing the net for any details confirm with the doctor. My son is an asperger so I can understand. alka replied.
Vidhya,

I am also facing the very same problem.

pl. suggest Mommy replied. Hi Vidhya,
I rarely visit this site, but today your msg. was the first one which I read and it touched me in many ways. I too am a mom of a 11 yr. old. Though I did not face the same problems as you nor am I an expert to give any guidance, I just wanted to let you know that I can perfectly understand how you are feeling right now. When someone gives a negative feedback about our kid, we are shattered. I can see that you are putting your 100% effort and are aware of your kids behaviour and want to try and change that. Believe me there are many other moms who would see no problem in their child and try and shift the entire blame on others around.But the fact that you want to take immediate action, itself shows that you take your parenting responsiblity quite seriously. So first a pat on your back.

Secondly from my experience, boys that young are quite hyper but mostly can be controlled. His attention span will increase with age. Especially after 4 yrs. of age they stabilise somewhat in their behaviour. Don' t take the teacher' s feedback too much to your heart. Afterall she has to manage so many kids and might be tired and frustrated. So have faith that things will slowly improve. Don' t worry too much about his learning. As you have felt that his grasping is good he will be ok once normal schooling begins.

Lastly I would suggest that try to put him in an Indian environment where the teachers may be used to handling the tantrums of Indian kids and he too may feel more at home!!

All the very best to you Vidhya