Parents of Schoolgoers  Discussion Forum

Hi,
We are in the US. I used to work in India when i quit and joined my husband. mainly because I had not-so-good in-laws and i wanted to run away from them! We had our lovely baby girl here.She's 3 now. So its been 3 years since i quit working. I feel totally wasted sitting at home. I dont know what to do. Here are my problems.,
1. when to have 2nd child?I know it has to be our decision. if we have second child now, that means 2 more years of sitting at home for me.
2. I miss my own family, i have got better chance of getting good job back at home. But if i go back that means 'IN-LAWS' too!

I keep thinking abt all this and going round and round. I feel like I am sinking and losing time!

pls help! poorni replied. that sounds interesting! why dont you post your details here on the forum. I am sure there are plenty like me waiting to hear more from you!

regards, fremommy replied. dear poorni, I know how you feel. I think since you have been working in India it must be harder. Don't think that you are wasting your time. Think of ways to improve your life and your daughters. You can do some research work on how to better her life. You can do yoga. You can take up some classes and also try for a job here. Think of your second child as a companion for your older one and also a bundle of joy for the next few years. There is a lot you can do if you really put your heart into it. I can see you have the potential then why not try it.
good luck and god bless friend replied. Hey, you can't have everything in life. If you need something you need to let go of something else. There are so many like you who have come abroad mainly due to family problems and are stuck here due to various reasons(visa,children). But the saving grace is that they are happy with their husband and children. I think it is just personal decision of what you want from your life. If you think you can put up with a little discomfort back in India, then you should go back(if you are career oriented).Atleast you will be able to find a better support system than abroad. Or if you are one of those who can keep a baby or a toddler in day care and have the strength to deal with all the problems that come with it,then you can have a second child anytime. So it is upto you. niyathi replied. i guess u should have thought twice before u quit your job in india. its not only running away from in-laws a main aim in life, if u want to be financially independent i guess however bad in-laws may be we should learn to manage. In this world i have not seen even a single family where in-laws treat their dil's nicely. If u r interested in doing a job and if u have work permit then i would suggest u not to go for second child at least untill u get a good job, may be once u get a good job then u can go for a child aftet 6 months/1 year.