Parents of Schoolgoers  Discussion Forum

i have been married for 2 yrs. we shifted to this city where my in-laws are also staying in june 2011. my in-laws stay only at a 5 min distance from our place. my father in law is very outspoken and domineering person and my mom in law is always full of advice on every little thing. she behaves in a controlled manner in front of me but with my husband she' s completely a different person. both my mother in law and father in law are extremely interfering. they ask my husband all kinds of questions like how much money he has in his bank, if we have invested money somewhere etc. they even ask us every month if we r planning a family. my husband is in a touring job which leaves me home alone every alternate month. when my husband is back, they call every single day and ask where we are and what we r doing.
after my marriage on my very first visit to my in laws' place, my FIL started bad mouthing act my husband and i was surprised why he is doing that. my MIL purposely distributed the wedding gifts wrongly and put the blame on me on my very first visit.
when we got our house renovated, we kept the surplus wood in our balcony. one day when my husband was away, i saw that all of the wood was gone. i thought somebody had stolen it but later i found out that my FIL had given it to somebody without even telling us abt it. then, one day when we were out of station, he brought a friend of his to show him our place (my husband hates that friend of his) abt which we got to know later.
whenever we have a get together, he makes it a point to raise an issue and quarrel on it. we invited them on diwali and he fought terribly with my husband and later blamed me that i didn' t stop him from fighting. on my bday he had a huge fight with us. when my mother was visiting us, we all went out for dinner. the entire way, he did not speak a single word with my mom and at dinner table started scolding my husband that he did not ask him before extending his leave (he feels he has the right to know everything even act his professional life).
he also gets annoyed if i visit my mom who stays in another city. we don' t live with them, are financially independent..still they question everything. my mother in law was sending a gift to my BIL in singapore and proposed to pack it in his bag herself. when my husband told them he' ll manage, they felt hurt (they r very sensitive when it comes to them)
he is also extremely sarcastic. as for my husband, although he answers appropriately, still he gets drawn more to them after a fight coz he feels his parents r hurt.
i can never ever have a normal relationship with my in laws since they have been bad with me since the very first day. but this is affecting my relationship with my husband and its causing a lot of stress to me.
i have never answered back to them but now i feel i should coz it is destroying my mental peace. how should i deal with it?
Chetan replied. Hi one of the best ways is to live in a separate home with your husband and kids. This can give you a lot of peace of mind. Its always good to adjust with your family which will stay helpful for you Hayaathi replied. Hello Anya,
So what you want to do exactly can you say because you will have some thought in your mind know so what you want to do you can say then we would give you with the suggestion what to do also You just comment on this. Priya replied. I believe you should talk to them but maintain the calm and poise in doing so. All in laws hate their daughter in law but are different with their sonIt is time they know you have a life of your own and they cannot intervene into every aspect of your life. Otherwise it is best you part physically away from their place to a different location if that is possible