Parents of Schoolgoers  Discussion Forum

hi,I keep reading the posts here and has been useful to me..i wud like to share my problem too and wud like to get advice..
Im married for past 10months and am 7months preggy now.I have a mil and sil who have been a problem from the beginning.Their interference is very irritating.My sil has a daughter of 4yrs.She is the pet of all and the center of attraction.They give her too much of importance.That has made tat child emotionally very weak.She seeks extreme attention all the time and keeps crying for everything.they have kept her under feathers tat she nvr opens her mouth to anyone else except for our fmly members.She nvr obeys a single word said by anyone.My DH loves her a lot.On the whole,full family revolves around her.I tried to explain my DH tat u r spoiling her by doing dis.but he gets angry if i say so.
Now my problem is my yet to be born child.Having a child is my greatest wish and have so many dreams abt it.I want my child to be very confident and shd know to think and make decision on its own.but i knw my IL' s and DH will do the same to my child too..I want to avoid it.Please help me as to how to avoid the interference of my IL' s in growing the child and my DH to understand the necessity to grow the child well.
My mil lives separately in her hometown but very often comes and stays in our house and involves in every single speech wid my husband.She comments on everything i say and either has to endorse or talk against wat i say.Watever..she always wants a say in everything,even on when we shd take bath also.
Now she will surely involve in everything of my child too..im really scared as to wat to do.Im in my 29th week and getting nightmares abt my child.I can at no cost sacrifice the future of my child for the sake of others.Please help me out in handling this. PP replied. Hi Namrata and Meera,
I understand ur situations coz i too have faced the same.
But believe me...its tough to face it everyday but time says the truth.
Just keep faith in yourself, cultivate the good values in ur child........and Namrata, u r expecting....so dont get any nightmares,it will affect ur baby.
Have gud thoughts,u know ,let ur bundle of joy to come, u will feel many of the things will get changed.
Worries u have today will not be the same tomorrow,yes infact there will some other then :)).
But the point is dont get too much tensed ........
I hope this will help u.

Or if you need more inputs on ur particualr situations.
Plz msg me, will get back to u.

Thanks
PP Namrata replied. :) We all in this forum have kind of same problem...but don' t loose heart. Every day is a struggle..Even my husband is the same...so much dutiful. He also says that when my mom holds the baby it is just out of love, but I know that she holds cause she wants my baby to recognize her as her mom not me. She is so jealous if my husband shows love for me...god knows why the hell she got her son married?? You MIL is playing an emotional game...learn from her tricks...and do the same with her. Don' t talk directly with your husband abt your likes and dislikes abt MIL way. Say in subtle tone...When she cleans the house, tell your hubby ohh you mom is so nice, even though she is tired all the day but still she keep on working. If I say then she will take in opp sense, better you ask her to let me work and she should take some rest. MAMA U MUST BE TIRED....and play this game. Give her a taste of her own medicine. I too love my husband from core...but you know I never showed him. This is our biggest mistake. We would have to work towards making our husband look as there first priority. We can never achieve this by fights and arugements because of these non stopping MIL\" S who only know how to ruin someone happiness. DO' nt fight with your husband because of her. Show your husband that you care of her in such way that he himself start asking her to do things your way. I know being diplomatic is not easy, even I am so much blunt and direct with my husband. But now I am learning how to act smart. Lets show these MIL the correct path they dont desrver to be even human beings... Namrata replied. Read your post, infact I am facing the same issue at home. My in laws are also very interfering and over too prorective for my child. Though my baby is not the first born but some how my MIL is physic case. She wants to hold the baby all the time, even she tried to BF the baby can you imagine...anyways my baby is close to an year and she recognise me very well so things have improved a lil bit. What I did, I used to have action fight every day with my in laws. I ket my mouth shut but on the same time my actions speak. I did not allow them to do what ever they want to do with the baby. Though not in front my hubby. The way my MIL carried the baby and did stuff, everytime she did something for my baby I asked my husband to witness that but in fun tone. Dekho mumma kitna payar karte hai lekin......and then what I wanted to say. Probably you can try the same.
For a mother baby is the biggest priority everythig comes after that. I learned the hard way. To satisfy the so called EGO of my in laws and obey my husband I had to see my daughter in hospital and continous ill for four months. Now I dont care abt what they say and do. I just listen to them but do what I want. It' s hard but we will have to do...just make sure your hubby gets the positive vibes and ensure him that it is his baby and his responsibility too. Let your hubby spend time alone with you baby this will enhance the bond between them. Believe me no matter what guys act like a husband but when it comes to ther child they will fight...and dont take much tension you still have time...Enjoy your baby in womb...its only a period when you baby is with you :)))