Parents of Schoolgoers  Discussion Forum

Hi Friends...
I am married from last 8 years and have 2 daughters and I am working also. My in laws family is middle class family and there were problems from starting but somewhat manageable. All these years my dear husband never supported me, I am kind of a person who is not verbal and will wait and watch type. After recent birth of my second daughter things have become hell and I have lost all hope and have become very irritated and lose temper easily and start throwing stuff. My MIL cried also when second daughter was born she did not come to see her .My MIL is very possessive about his son (only son). She is only concerned for money and daughters. She wants to stay with daughters (they are staying away from there in laws) and always accuses someone and a chatterbox and I am very introvert.
Problem is my husband and my MIL never shares or discusses anything of home with me. I have told many times to them but they blindly say what are your concern and all these things my sister in law will also know and discuss. My dear husband never feels anything wrong in it. He is big diplomat and never wants to discuss anything. He will go to sleep if I want to discuss anything.
1) I feel neglected.
2) I feel humiliated and misused as with my salary contribution they are in very sound financial position.
3) We have big house here but my MIL wants big house at her native place. Though she has her own but still wants big. She wants to boost in her friends and relatives.
4) Dear husband does not want to do any saving for daughters. No saving honestly.
5) Recently he has booked flat for my MIL (FIL expired recently) without discussing or sharing with me. I feel hurt.
6) If maid is not at home, he will not care to help me for anything or with kids. I only have to take leave from office or anything.
7) Husband has started beating me. I cry for nights and nights. Though I am financially independent (working in IT) but I cannot give my daughters fathers love if I separate.
8) Yesterday I had big fight and again he beat me. I am determined to stay alone with my daughters. My parents don’t know that he beats me. What should I do?

Pls. pls guide me suggest me.

Thanks

Radha replied. Dear Radha,

Being a mother of two daughters you need to set a good example at least for them and stop this cycle of abuse that your husband is inflicting on you. Please don' t allow him to physically and mentally hurt you. There is no other way psychologically you can hurt your daughters other than them watching mother being beaten up by their father.

Do not hide the fact that he beats you up from your parents and family. YOur husband is taking advantage of that also becuase he has nobody to give answers to.You have a good job and you are financially secure, I am sure your husband enjoys your money let your parents be involved and get separated from him for few days let your parents or you yourself give him an ultimatum and leave I can bet you he will come back and hopefully will stop this madness and if not belive me YOU AND YOUR DAUGHTERS ARE MUCH BETTER OFF without him. The fact that your daugters cry and want both mom and dad together is your insecurity. Trust me your daughters will grow into much more independent and stable young girls if you show them that getting beaten by your husbands is a NO NO.
Don' t get abused by your husband and inlaws are secondary it is your husband who is a problem. Pu replied. I guess you need to take your parents in confidence and file a police case against yr husband and in laws. It makes no sense in giving up yr self respect for such a person. And after your daughters grow up I am sure they would ashamed of such a father.