Parents of Schoolgoers  Discussion Forum

Hi,
We are a nuclear family..ILs staying seperately in their own house in the same city..things remain calm when they are in thier own place...but at times my MIL comes up to stay with us for 10-15 days...And that is the most horrible time of my life...
She has always been a dictator type of person.. she is uneducated and has been a housewife throughout...for her food is everything...her son and grand children should be well fed (overfed infact) and nothing else....i become a maid servant in the house to take care of the family when she is around (with no one hardly even noticing whether i have had any thing or not)...my FIL is very calm and good person ..never interfering in any thing...i have no problems with him..i like cooking for him and serving him and have full respect for him...but MIL is a pain...she finds faults in everything i do..why are u putiing this thing here, why are u cooking this, why do u put this masala in this sabzi.. etc etc..she has made up her mind that i know nothing..she thinks i cannot cook at all and am starving her son as he was used to having very good meals before marriage... she says that i am not a good home maker, i dont take care of my child and my husband properly....where as the truth is that my hubby and my child are my life...i do everything possible for them...before marrige i had always been appriciated by my friends and family for my cooking.....but she is never contended...she always try to compare me with her daughter or elder dil (both working in govt. org and half the time they are at home only..i am working in a pvt. org)..There is so much more to say....the way she talks is as if she is talking to a maid servant..i' ve never replied back to her..just keep silent and cry alone...in front of my FIL and husband she never talks like this...its only when they are not there ... my husband knows everything (i' ve told him) but he says just ignore as she is there only for a few days...but this is not possible for me... how can anyone ignore all this..i have totally become fed up...once i stayed late in the office (without any work) when she was at our place..just to avoid her..but this makes my child suffer...
All this has caused so much pain ..my relationship with my husband has also destroyed due to her..what can i do...as of now she has gone back to her place..but we are not talking..
My husband doesnt say anything to her..according to him if he' ll say anything to her he' ll become a bad son and a joru ka gulam...
i love my husband and dont want to lose him..but is this correct on his part...doesnt he have some duty towards a girl whom he has brought to his house after marriage...
i am very disturbed ..she will again come next month... helper replied. hi soni... i can understand yr problem becaz i am also suffering some of d points which u discussed. even i also think why d mother in law alwz complain and compare her DIL with others. i really hate this. even my relationship with my hubby get distrubed becaz of her.. i also dont know how to deal with this.. i just cry and cry.... husband cannot do anything i can understand because he has to make balance between a wife and a mother ... very complicated it is.... i dont know wen this will end