Parents of Schoolgoers  Discussion Forum

Well I met my in-laws for a week...we were all attending a wedding...everything was fine then my MIL mentioned she wanted to come and stay for 6 months with us!
I told my husband I did not want that as I had experienced some very difficult times with her when she stayed with us for that long when my daughter was born.
He finally gave in after telling me he could not tell her not to come for a long time.
So he mentions it to my in-laws...they were not happy, especially as my mum is coming for my delivery in Oct.

I could sense they were hurt...they slept on it and the next day my MIL was making sarcastic comments...but when I appologised she said she will come but not for 6 months.
I told her it was my western upbringing that is causing all these problems and they seemed to understand.

Do you ladies who are born and bought up in India have the same views?
Are you ok with your in-laws staying with you for a long time? eg. if you live in USA and they come from India?
I was born and bought up in a western country and then when I got married and moved it was to another western country. My parents have bought me up to 'think Indian' but I still have a
problem in thinking that way.

This is causing a lot of confusion.

I guess I just have to do the best I can when they come here and make them feel welcome.
I'm glad I was honest with them and they have also mentioned that.

Any other suggestions?
I will have a 4 yr old and a 4 month old at the time. harj replied. I was also brought up in the west and my husband came from India. I have found it difficult to adjust to his family and their demands because of some of the values I have been brought up with e.g. wanting my own privacy. I think you have made a good decision telling your MIL to wait for a time after you have given birth and given your self time to settle with your new baby. I dont think you should feel guilty as when a new baby comes it can be stressful and you do not want to add to this stress. I think that Perfect Indian families are only found in dramas and as far as I can see many ladies born in India Have the same problems with MIL as us. I think in this society we still want to respect our elders but we want to make our own choices as well. I think all members of a family need to adjust and just expectin th DIL to adjust is not on and unfair.