Parents of Schoolgoers  Discussion Forum

Hi,
I am lakshmi married in the month of August 2009. Just after marriage me and my husband are living away from each other due to career problems.He is living in Singapore.
Initially after marriage I along with my husband went to in-laws place for a week. She was OK when I was with her but as soon as he left to Singapore she started pouring against me to my hubbby on phone. As a result my husband is not behaving properly with me.
MIL decides everything like the saree or clothes i wear. She is frm small village and looks like a pig and she is commenting to my husband tht i dont dress up well and I shld only wear sarees in this society. When I go to MIL place she keeps speaking continuously like a non-stop non sense and i am getting head ache very badly.
MIl is just 47yr old women and she is telling my hubby tht she cannot do the work and she wants to stay with us. when ever I go to MIL she keeps telling something abt my parents and me to my hubby. he being mamas boy listens only to her and not me.
2 weeks back she had swelling in her leg and came to know that she had sugar and she was hospitalised. i went thr to take care of her and after 4 days she was in good condition and discharged. She has two sons-one my husband and younger one lives in banglore. She cried when ever my husband calls her and made him to come right after i came back to my place. Though my husband is in india he is not calling me and talking to me , and MIL is not allowing him to visit me. MY hubby inspite of hectic work schedule he will be with MIL for 10days..He mighr come to see me for 1day and i am not sure of tht as well.
MIL cries for everything and tells him as if she is the truthful person in the whole earth.

Pls suggest me what i need to do.. I am being newly wed very much frustrated with all this. MIl is making my hubby to loose interest on me.
Swati replied. Hi,

Try doing following things.

1)When U speak to your husband, dont start talks with your MIL' s topic. If he is starting that, try to change it to something more interesting. But during the call, pls make sure that u tell all the non sense things your mother in law makes you to do and listen. But again end up call with something whch is sweeter than MIL.

2)Dont get overharrased with MIL' s issue. Dont give her an impression that she is ruling you. But but dont react to her or dont give her back in words or action. Just listen n pass it on to your husband at the right time.

3)Keep minimum contacts with your MIL. Whenever u hv to do smthing for her, mention it to yr husband that u did it for her.

4)Dont lose hold on your husband. See to it that he is always with you.

5)Your husband will surely understand shortly that his mother only is in fault but it will take time.. You will have to keep patience for that.

6)Dont think about MIL all the time.. There are more important problems in the world, to think about, than just MIL.

7)Enjoy new mariage and new relationship with your husband. Belive that now he is yours and let your emotions get reached to him. remya replied. hai laxmi,
you are married very recently, so first u need to get ur hus support, initially when ur mil is putting forward too much of complaints, it will tough for u to survive, so to the very beginning accept the fact thatmother might be different frm mil. and u should get good names frm ur mil ,then only ur hus listen to u. Since he don' t know what is going in d house, he will obviously believe his mother only,He should believe u ,accept u ! so first try to be a good dil for some couple of months, ask ur mil opinion for every thing u do. Then she will stop of complaining, and ur hus also under stand about u, then(after 1 or 1 1/2 yrs)u will be free, it is nopt easy to get their certification initially. SOMAKE EACH MOVEMENT S WISELY. be patient and accept that ur hus loves u very much,and u are ready to do nyadjustment for ur sweety hubby. wishing u all the best