Parents of Schoolgoers  Discussion Forum

Hi,

After seeing this forum. I felt like poring out my pain with u all. Mine is 2+ yrs of married life and I have a small kid of 9 mths...I was also a software professional working in all big mncs and rite now staying abroad...My married life turned to be upside down....There is no day when i haven' t cried......Now a days I feel m undergoing depression. Dont know where it will end up.Soon after my marriege i found out that whatever details my parent-in-laws gave for proposal are wrong n also his mental condition is not normal....This is a shock to me...And whoever faces this situation they cant digest immediately so i was in confused state and was crying..After marriage we went abroad and my BIL is also staying with us.and he started scolding me for crying and blah blah blah....and lot of disputes..now nobody talks top me.....Eveyone treats me as a culprit..inspite of their mistake..even i dont have parents support.....my husband beats me whenever he feels like...whenever he talks to his parents he beats me.....even during pregnancy also.....when i went for delivery he is not bothered to bring me back to the home i waited for 5 months and i cant stay for long time in my parents house so somehow i came to his house...soon after coming he beated me....i feel like dying and m hurting myself ... my kid is there who will take care of her....m crying days together.....Plz advie should i consult the psychiatrist..I want to save my life...plz advice... sm replied. Its easier said than done to leave and start afresh...
Even when we get back to work there are managers and peers who wont consider a leave or an increment to be given to you even if you' re single parenting. Starting afresh with a young one means no leaves and no illness to the lil one... which is not possible.
No creche will consider that you alone have to take all burdens.
No hospital will have mercy on you when your child is not well.. a support system is definitely needed with a small child if its not already in place for a considerable years.

Its sad that u have to go through physical abuse, however when families are used to verbal/ physical abuse not much can be done to change them.
Remain calm and avoid getting into any argument.. whenever u feel the tension get out of the house with the child and atleast 1 neighbour should be aware of your situation to get legal help if situation is really out of control.
this is possible when you stop all expectations with your husband.. and once you achieve a stage where he' s not beaten you for a while you can know that you' ve become independent enuff to take care of child and household and now can start work and be yourself. tcv replied. dear, It is your last sentence that ' I want to save my life ' that you need to start working on. ' Own' your life as the most ' treasured thing' in this world. Think about your purpose in life list them on priority and start working towards 1st item. Do waht you need to do. Once you achieve that, that too independently, without help of your husband/BIL or parents, pick up next one. Once you start achieving bit by bit, your confidence will increase and will help you to start looking at people and situations INDEPENDENTLY. Good luck and if you want to privately consult me you can use my e-mail id. Mel replied. Dear sss,
I completely agree with SA. Please leave. Don' t wait around. Why stay in such an unhealthy environment. GO away and make a nice environment for your daughter, where she sees her mother strong, independent and capable, so that you can be a role model for your daughter.

Pluck up your courage and leave. sa replied. dear friend,
i can very well understand your problem, but still i can' t understand why we indian women are always look for a support a brother, a father, a husband why?
You are a softwere professional, and can earn atleast for your basic needs . You can very well fulfill your ad your daughter requirement, then for what you are waiting for. Be bold, try to get a good job earn some experience and then go for a better one. and GET OUT OF THAT HELL.
For what you are waiting, what do you thing is Your Husaband will change automatically, or your in laws will relise there mistake , or your parenet will come to support you.
Listen baby no body can anything for you if you can' t , so just take a bold step and belive me this may be difficult, very difficult. BUT NOT IMPOSSIBLE. So go for it. Don' t waist your teat for whom , who wont deserve it. For any help you can contace me .
God Bless